My friend ditches me when she gets a new guy interest?

Question

My friend recently broke up with her boyfriend deren. For the past couple of weeks ALL she talks about is deren and what hes been saying to her, and this new guy she likes colin.
I'd try to change the subject but she always brings it back to colin and deren.
If colin isn't online when she is, she'll sit there complaining that he isn't on, and talking about how great he is. If he is online, she will hardly talk to me, and when she does it's about wat colin is saying, or shes pasting parts of their conversation into our convo for me to see.

She wont play tennis with me because colin will be there n shes embarrassed. She wont come to the beach with me cos she says she has study, but she doesnt study. She just sits on msn talking to, or about, colin.

I dont want to tell her to stop talking baout it. How can I hint to her that I would like her to go back to how it used to be>?

I hav a bf... I dont talk abiut him allthe time to her becos i know how annoying it is

Answer 1

Well, I'd say she needs to call you when she's having a colin free day! No, Really.... If you say it wrong she'll just say you're jealous. Just keep busy or hang out with other friends, she'll come back looking for you when the newness of the relationship wears off. He'll want to hang out with his friends and she'll remember you again. You can try mentioning during your chats that you are chatting with her, not him! She's TOTALLY absorbed by him, which can be exhausting, just wait, she'll be back! Best of Luck! =)

Answer 2

Yea I have been there and sort of still there. My one friend is always doing that sh*t to me too. I can't stand it. So what I did, I outrightly told her up front about all my feelings with her and her "interests". I mean there is only so much one person can take ya know. So you have to tell her outright that as great as it is for her to have guys to talk about. She needs to quit basing her world around them so much and get back to being a real friend again and learn to talk about someone other than those two guys. And if she refuses to do so, tell her how it is. Remind her she is broke up with Deren and if she isn't dating Colin then they are both nontopics to discuss. Because as you see it you have more important things to do with your time than listen to her yack on and on about her past and maybe possible future. And from the sound of it she is afraid to let go of either one.

P.S. If she doesn't want to play tennis or anything else with you, I say invite your other friends out to do something. Don't let her attitude stop you from having fun. While she is at home pining away for some guy she isn't dating yet. Go out have fun or throw a party and don't invite her. She should get the picture if not. Don't even worry about it. She will see the light eventually.

Answer 3

Just wait until you have a boyfriend. You will be doing the same things. Just deal with it. You could, however, ask her to take a day every now and then just for the two of you to talk about things other than Colin. Ask her. Just tell her that sometimes you feel left out.

Answer 4

She doesn't seem like a real friend if she is only there when she wants something and never around when you are in trouble. I say ditch her, it is best to have no friends rather than fake friends

Answer 5

You can't. She's discovered boys. You've been relegated to the female friend status. My best friend used to do this to me. We'd make plans, but if a guy came along she'd dump me in a heartbeat to go out with him...even if the plans had long ago been made.

You need to learn to ignore her boy craziness and focus on your own life. Enjoy what time you do spend together, and if she starts driving you crazy with her obsessing over Colin and Deren just call her on it. Tell her if she wants to hang with them, go hang with them and if she wants to hang with you she needs to hang up the phone and cut the Internet cord with them when it's your time together.

She hasn't learned to balance her life yet. She will...hopefully. :)

Answer 6

She sounds like shes a bit boy crazy! I've got a friend like that as well. The best thing to do is just to go with it. Also tell her that shes obsessing and she needs to calm down a bit, not in a mean way though, just jokingly. Hopefully she'll get the message.

Answer 7

That's common. She's self involved, at the moment anyway. I'm sure you can find the right words to politely tell her you wished she were more with you when she's with you. You would know how sensitive she is so I couldn't really tell you what to say you have to work around her. It will go back to how it used to be but it will be like this again with the next guy. It changes when you get older, we were all like that at some point.

Answer 8

let her know you feel a lil neglected.
if she knows him personally, you should both meet uo with him in a fun public place like an arcade, concert, amusement park, movies, supper etc...when people like someone theyre usually shy, but when a friend is around theyre more open. if you spend time with both of them, you can get the best of both worlds, & find out if your friend should even waste time dreaming about the guy, find out if hes worth her time & be there for her. never let crushes come between true friendship, good luck

Answer 9

Be blunt and upfront with her about it. Tell her your not a counsellor and you can't help her with this stuff, and tell her it's affecting your friendship because it gets on your nerves and it's all she talks about. she dozen;t realise she is like this because she is emotionally somewhere else right now.

She will get cranky and maybe end your friendship, but most normally cool down after a few days and will start talking to you again.

You can also see a counsellor about how to deal with her.

Answer 10

Try slowing it down and start out like, " remember when we used to do ...... " then slowly bring up the subject that you miss her own self and that you really get sad when she's like that. tell her, that as her friend, you do deserve to know these things about her lovelife, but you should also tell her that you also deserve some respect. Good luck!