About a month ago, I started dating this guy. We hit it off immediately. He's sweet, smart, funny, nerdy, mature, and cute. Why on Earth would I have a problem?
Well, as things have become more serious, he's become much...um...mushier. Instead of getting along like before (talking, laughing, relating), almost everything he talks about relates to "us." How much he likes me, how happy he is, how much he can't wait to see me next. And always with the cuddling!
Okay, I know. I sound like a complete ingrate for even asking this. But it's not as if I don't like him; I like him very much. Believe me: I hate that this makes me so uncomfortable. It's just that all this over-sweetness and super-closeness is kind of stifling.
So is this just something that comes with a new relationship? Will he back off a little and go back to normal once the "newness" wears off? If I know that we can get back to relating like we did in the beginning (without so much mush), I'll be the happiest girl in town.
2007-09-12 17:48:58 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Apparently you have never been in a relationship before, at least that what I've gathered here. Just tell your boyfriend how you feel and I am sure he will pull back. Communication is everything. Do you love him?
2007-09-12 17:53:37 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Relationships go through phases. i doubt that this phase will last forever but it will also probably not go back to how it was before either it will keep developing as you both grow and change. In the mean time \consider mentioning to him without hurting his pride that while you appreciate all he is doing to make you feel good you could use a bit less sometimes and you can also help this by leading by example.....changing the subject when things are too deep or making plans to go out and do things together instead of just cuddling and talking about "us". Good luck!
2007-09-12 17:57:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You mentioned that he is nerdy, and that makes me tend to think that he may become overly attached to his female companions. I am fairly nerdy, myself, and have been known to do this, but I'm finally with a girl who likes all the mushy "us" stuff and the cuddling all the time (she says I'm a great cuddler :P). It's possible that it will fade with time, but I would say that your best bet is to try and talk it over with him. If the two of you really get along and like each other, then you should be able to sit down and say "You know that I really like you, but sometimes this makes me uncomfortable," and you should be able to talk to him about it. If you like him, then try not to worry about it to much--if you're young, then this may simply be a passing fling anyway, and you'll move on, and if you're ready to settle down, then you'll move past this feeling of claustrophobia.
2007-09-12 18:02:59 · answer #3 · answered by Noah L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is falling hard for you. That should be a good sign, but I do understand that sometimes you want just the funny side of him. Tell him that you miss that side of him. Tell him how much you enjoy him making you laugh, and talking about other things. tell him that if the relationship is going to develop, you need to do more talking to learn about each other. Mainly, since he is already head over heals, you can just tell him how much it would mean to you, and I'll bet that he would to anything to please you!!!
2007-09-12 17:55:07 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry about it. Either he will cool off after time or you will grow more comfortable with the situation. How ironic is it that the girl doesn't want the mushy mushy stuff? Anyways this exact situation happened to my friend and at first she wanted to dump him but after time she became more comfortable with his affection and he started acting a little more sane.
2007-09-12 17:54:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he was actually that mature, he'd notice you don't like all the mush...if it were me. I'd be asking myself, why all this, all at once for seemingly NO reason ??? Ask him to back off a bit and if he gets weird....run..he's a control freak.
2007-09-12 17:53:06 · answer #6 · answered by Chrys 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him directly. Boys and men can tend to be like that, and it's not good. Honest communication is important, but get rid of him if he's too weak or clingy, if need be.
2007-09-12 17:53:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell him!
but not in a harsh way
cause he is obviously
just failing miserably at trying
to be smoothe or something.
so if he doesnt change
or takes
it the wrong way
you know its probably time
to call it quits.
but if he does change
and understands you feeling smothered,
he is a keeper.
:)
2007-09-12 17:53:25 · answer #8 · answered by ava_madeline 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is best to be honest, but you will hurt his feelings and be lucky if he sticks around. Send him to me....I'd appreciate him in my life.
2007-09-12 17:53:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Claustrophobic or smothered?
2007-09-12 17:52:11 · answer #10 · answered by NONAME 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋