2007-09-12 17:22:13 · 17 answers · asked by Your Mom 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Dear Krista!
I am sorry about your hurting inside.
I do not know what is going on or what this about,but one thing i learned was separate my self from the those who want too live in dark side and does not want too change for better,because they will pull you downm with them,and they want too live an unloving Life and hurt others with out knowing who they are hurting.you can't live like that Krista..
Romans 12:2(niv)Do not be conform any longer too the pattern of this world,but be transformed in renewing your mind..
Krista!
You are not alone in this for many will be disappointment in your life,and you can not control them in what they do.But all you can do is pray for them and separate your Life from them.Now i am not saying too totally hate them .for we are too love them,but we are too keeep our space from them,until they change.Please make things right with you,and some times that is the hardest thing to do is seperat our Lives from those who we Love,that continually live their Lives in darkness.
I hope this helped you Krista.
Sincerely,
Kenny
2007-09-19 12:26:10 · answer #1 · answered by kendaw374 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It depends on what it is and how they've disappointed me. Sometimes I overlook it. Sometimes I brew over it then confront them. Sometimes I basically disown them because the hurt is too deep and it isn't going away or easing.
One thing to remember is that we are all part of this human race, and we all end up disappointing someone soomer or later. We can really hurt people, and either not know it, not care, or think it's a small thing when it wasn't to them. We are all human. We all have our faults and we all deal with hurt from others.
List the options you have, then Count the cost of each. Look at the option as it applies to further down the road. Can this relationship be salvaged? Can this person learn from knowing how you've been hurt? Will this person say "tough ****" and continue on? Will forgiving this person be the wisest choice? Look at the big picture, look into what would be if you chose this or that path.
Some hard thinking, but could save a friendship, relationship or love. It could save your dignity or sanity if you took another option.
Remember this: There are always choices. Rarely are things set in stone where there is only one way to do something. The wise way is to think it through, and then act. Acting before weighing the consequences to you or others in foolish. Think. Then act.
2007-09-20 13:50:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are two possibilities
1. Their disappointed but you are doing well but just not up to their expectations. e.g. You are getting A's and B's but they are disappointed you don't get all A's.
In this type of case I would do a gut check and if you are doing your best then have a discussion - "I am really trying my best and I know that you feel I can do better. All that is doing is creating more presssure and making me feel bad - and frankly angry. You need to accept me for what I am not what you want me to be"
If that doesn't work then you will just have to tune them out until you are out on your own. After awhile everyone has to set their own goals and can't live to please other people.
2. The second case is you have brains and ability but haven't done well because of things that are basically your fault. e.g. you are lazy or party too much etc. In that case you can only change their disappointment if you be honest with them and yourself. " I haven't applied myself, I am sorry. I have disappointed you and myself. I will try very hard to do better in the future and I hope you will see a difference and will help me"
If you mean it (you are committed to change) most parents should allow you to clean the slate. They may want to see some sustained change and results before they will really believe it
good luck
2007-09-19 21:12:32 · answer #3 · answered by J 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, there is several ways to deal with disappointments like this. You can ignore it, talk about with the person or expect this type of thing to happen from this person until you know the truth about a given situation. If you never find the truth, then take a deep breath and ride it out if its a family member, just expect that this can be repeated. If its a friend, then you may want to put some distance between yourself and the friend. Don't cut off your friendship, because that friend may be going through something to which you may not be aware.
2007-09-20 20:22:54 · answer #4 · answered by WOODSAK 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People cant disappoint you unless you expect a certain kind of behavior and then not see it. It is not the best way to live but if talking to them doesnt help then you will have to do it this way. Dont expect kind words or thoughtfulness or meals to be made or any of the other things we take for granted. It takes time but it does work. Good Luck
2007-09-20 13:32:47 · answer #5 · answered by Grampa B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best I can. If I think they are unaware of how they disappointed me and might change their behavior if I talked to them about it, I would try that. If I thought that they would not be able to change anything, I would try to protect myself from future disappointments. Some people you just cannot count on, no matter what they say.
2007-09-13 00:28:07 · answer #6 · answered by treebird 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I usually try to make excuses for them in my head,if you're talking about family.
hurt is hurt but I think when someone screws me over,a friend for instance hurts more than my family.I can deal with disappointment from my fmly better,IDK if it's because I got used to it or I think I have to put up with it.50 % of the time I let them know they hurt me,rest of time I let it go.
2007-09-13 00:38:31 · answer #7 · answered by susan e 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its really hard to be let down by people you care about...you would think that they should be the ones you can count on especially...but you have to remember that loved ones are still people who are prone to make mistakes...nobody is perfect after all...when they let you down, it doesn't mean that they don't love you anymore...sometimes circumstances just work against what we want...best thing to do is to let them know how you felt about an issue...discuss with them how you felt at that time...how they let you down...these people love you and will try not to disappoint you again...it is better to talk it out that keep it to yourself as a grudge against them...
2007-09-13 01:28:56 · answer #8 · answered by geisha 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you care about them and they truly care about you then you should be able to talk to them. But make sure you express yourself in a way that doesn't make them feel as if they are being attacked. Let them know you care about them and just want to help.
2007-09-13 00:30:59 · answer #9 · answered by khartfan111 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You expect them as imperfect and know what their limits are on caring for you and either accept it or let them go. You can share it with them as well but that does not guarantee they will be able or willing to change anything.
Good luck!!!
Bc
2007-09-17 21:20:55 · answer #10 · answered by Bc 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋