I love him to death! We've been through ups & downs & for about the past 2 yrs we've been great (he's 26 & I'm 23) . But since he is on his third year of being an architect he has been working long hours, like going to work at 7 a.m. & getting home at 9 p.m. - and really this bothers me because he told me "this is how it's going to be, and this is what I went to school for." Since we're just dating I want to show him that I'm understanding, but really I'm stuck. I want to give him an ultimatum and say, "either I understand with a ring on my left finger since I'm not going to be going through this ordeal of seeing you very little, or we break up because you're making work your number one priority without knowing if I'll have a future with you."
Is this harsh?
Also, I just need advice from those who have dated architects, engineers, etc, someone from a professional field and how did you deal with it?
He still lives with his parents so it's not like I can stay the night with him.
2007-09-12 16:57:41 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't answer the question if you can't help. Also! He's already graduated and passed all the tests. You can't be called an architect w/o those two factors!!! & I'm not nagging about this, he just knows that I'm bummed whenever he calls me to say, "I'm working late again!"
& he doesn't act like he knows more than me, he is a GREAT guy - I just really don't like that we don't live together so we only see each other when he isn't at work...and that is RARE now.
2007-09-12 17:08:59 · update #1
Honestly, it really does require that kind of time.
Try asking him to make 3 hours a week for you. Then take those hours and go on a date. Enjoy his time and no nagging allowed!
2007-09-12 17:03:42 · answer #1 · answered by Madama Butterfly 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My boyfriend isn't an architecht but he was the manager of a hotel for a long time of our relationship.... about a year of it. He basically lived there and worked at least 15-16 hours a day. Very true and very stressful. You say kind of what you are saying in your ultimatum. "I am sorry. I love you to death. I really really do, but I can't take this anymore. I just want you to spend more time with me than at your job. I understand it's what you went to school for, but I won't be in your life if your work is the number one priority."
It worked on my boyfriend... so if your boyfriend wants to keep you in your life enough to bend to some of your needs, then it's a good thing. Otherwise, I wouldn't waste anymore time being miserable on that part. I know it sounds like a threat, but I'd just put it out there that you are very upset that he can't spend any time with you.
2007-09-12 17:10:53 · answer #2 · answered by *Love* 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will be pleased with him for working so complicated and bringing in some money. yet on a similar time you will be disappointed because you omit him and you adult males do no longer spend sufficient time at the same time. perchance you will get a job besides to maintain your recommendations off of it or maybe ask him if some days each and every week you adult males could make plans to bypass out purely the two considered one of you, and spend high quality time.
2016-10-04 11:52:03 · answer #3 · answered by beliveau 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you are an engineer or architect too, forget it. He will always think that he knows everything and you are a dummy. They teach it to them their first year, and it's the only thing they really remember.
2007-09-12 17:02:33 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
he has to finish the educaton and he has to do his job. if you dnt' understand that i am sorry i know they work long hard hours i know one and hes on long time. yes he is with his parents but hes tryingt o make a goood job forhimself. if you love him you will be there he has told you and you also have to trust him. if you don't then move on its up to you take care.
2007-09-12 17:03:16 · answer #5 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope, sorry, but i cant help you on this one
2007-09-12 17:03:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋