Is it rude for someone to talk to you with sunglasses on?

Question

My 19 yr old daughter's friend[a boy] always talks to me with his gold colored sunglasses on, I'd like to see his eyes, as in does he use drugs, is he lying etc? I think its disrespectful. What is your opinion?She's only known him a week and he does the same to her, even wearing them in class.

Answer 1

I agree, it is difficult to talk with someone who is wearing dark glasses. Assuming he does not have a medical condition that requires he wear them, I think he should not hide behind them. Part of good communication and assessing demeanor is establishing good eye contact.

Answer 2

Have you ever told the person that you were talking to, that you find it rude, that it is frustrating talking to your own reflection, or have you just started talking to thin air, or just over their head .... they will usually take of their glasses then. With a young man, simply tell him that you would find it respectful if he takes off his glasses with you.

It is considered poor manners. As it makes the person wearing them seem un-approachable. It use to be a way to say to others that you were not in the mood for talking, and others respected that. Meaning, if you had been crying and you didn't want others to notice or want to be bothered you would wear sunglasses, and when you didn't take them off people "knew" to leave you alone.

As a teacher I do not tolerate sunglasses inside, or hats either. I expect to be treated with respect, and I often deliver a "lesson" with humor. In this case, try telling him, you were wondering why he wears glasses and you came up with some theories - he is in mourning; he is a vampire; he has an eye disease; he is anti social; he is drugged all the time; his eyes are so beautiful that when others see them they throw themselves helplessly at him, and all the women follow him home ..... and then tell him seriously, I would feel more comfortable if you did not wear your glasses inside.

best of luck,
and remember he may not really know better. He may be blindly following fashion ... help him if you can ...
star spinner

Answer 3

I wear perscription sunglasses and at the start on a conversation with a stranger, I remove them as a courtesy, then after a few minutes I put them back on and just say perscription, that way the person knows that I mean no disrespect and that I need to wear them. In today's culture though, sunglasses are widely accepted as normal.

Answer 4

Actually, yes, it is rude to cover your eyes when talking to someone--for exactly the reasons you mentioned. Etiquette, though, like language, evolves with time and changing customs. So many people wear sunglasses for all sorts of legitimate reasons that it's hard to declare that they are all being rude. Sounds like your daughter is okay with it. Keep your fingers crossed this relationship doesn't last long. :)

Answer 5

if you are inside then yes it is but
they may be prescription sunglasses and he broke his other ones or he could be light sensitive and get migraines so he has to wear sunglasses all the time. Just casually ask him"I noticed you wear sunglasses all the time, where did you get them?...They are interesting looking, can I see them?" and so on to see what he will tell you.

Answer 6

I think its not polite to talk to somebody elder while wearing sunglasses, eye contact is very important in a face to face conversation.Next time he talks to you ask him to take it off.

Answer 7

ya i think its really rude,it looks so arrogant and disrespectful. like have the respect to take the glasses off,and look the person in the eye and show some eye contact at least..geez i agree wit u.

Answer 8

if hes inside its a little weird if hes stoned you can tell other ways try to get close and smell him also pay attention to coughing just ask your daughter but in a cool way try something like joking about it this will make her less likely to get deffeisive and more likely to tell u the truth if she admits he was using drugs dont tell her not to hang out with him (this will prob. make her mad / less likely to listen to you) tell her u would rather she didnt take drugs just talk to her like she is an adult this will make her feel respected and hopefully keep the communication lines open trust me im 17 and i know how kids want to be talked to

Answer 9

If they are prescription sun glasses then I might understand a little better.If not then,he may think that he is just being cool.I would think that if he were in your home he'd remove them. I'd say something like"What color are your eyes? Can I have a peek ?" If he does not take then off he just may be hiding something.

Answer 10

Since its your problem, say "It makes me uncomfortable when you talk to me with your sunglasses on." If he objects, just add "Besides, I can't see your lovely eyes" and smile/wink a bit.

I'tt bet ya he nevers wears them again when talking to you.

Answer 11

I agree, I like to make eye contact. Just ask him piolty to remove the sunglasses while talking to you.