When my class said good-bye to me on my last day in Edinburg, I learned the feeling of having true friends. During the first few weeks following Hurricane Katrina, my family and I stayed in Edinburg, Texas, with my Uncle Luke. After two weeks had gone by, my parents enrolled me in the seventh grade class at St. Joseph’s Catholic School. From the day I arrived, my classmates were very kind to me and made me feel that I was a part of the class. Having heard a week later that it was safe to return to New Orleans, my father told me and the rest of my family we were going home. On hearing this I was overjoyed, but I also felt an inkling of sadness because returning home meant leaving my newfound friends. The day of my departure arrived quite quickly, yet it seemed to drag on forever; but finally after the bell ending lunch rang, the time came for me to leave. I, practically dragging my feet, was slowly walking back to my classroom after emptying out my locker; and as I turned the corner, I saw all my classmates, quiet as church mice, huddled outside the room. At first I didn’t know what to think. I told them earlier that they didn’t have to make a big deal over my departure; but by looking at some of their very disgruntled expressions, it seemed as if they were going to. After what felt like an eternity, one of the girls in the middle of the group gradually approached me and said in a very meek voice, “We got you something for your birthday next week”; she then revealed a backpack imprinted with the school seal and a birthday card signed by all my classmates and gave it to me. As soon as I said thank you, they all suddenly ran up to me and began shaking my hand and hugging any part of my body in reach. They also were all saying how much they were going to miss me and were begging me not to leave. At this point I lost all sanity and began embracing them as tightly as I could. I was almost in tears when I was saying that I would never forget them and was going to miss them more than they could imagine. As I was doing this, I realized something: they must genuinely care about me to be getting this upset over my departure. I never before in my life had friends make me feel so cared about; and accompanying this feeling, was a great happiness I had never experience before either. Then, the connection hit me: the reason I was feeling so happy over this big commotion was because I had true friends who genuinely cared about me; and as it is said, there is no greater joy than having true friendship. After the final good-byes were said, I, having learned a feeling I would not soon forget, walked out to the car and began my journey home.
2007-09-12 15:08:29 · 4 answers · asked by Nicholas 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Languages
and to the person who said it was too melodramatic. first of all, this was a paragraph explaining a defining moment in your life and so i think it would be appropriate to write exactly what was going through your mind even if it was very emotional for you. plus this is the first paragraph i've ever written this year in my freshman year of highschool so i think it'll work.
2007-09-12 16:24:42 · update #1
Thank you melodramatic woman. u are right i did want to hear only good things probably b/c i spent forever writing it. and i can assure you i'm not gay. it was just one of the few very defining and emotional times in my life and i wanted to do it justice, thats all. i should have known that there would be some who liked it and others who wouldn't. thank you for voicing your opinion. and my teacher is probably going to be ok with it since it does cover all the points of the assignment. i dont think there's a part on the grading rubric for "over dramatic". but anyway thank you.
2007-09-15 06:25:05 · update #2
and just because a guy shows his soft side doesn't mean he's gay. come on if you're one of those people who think guys are supposed to be these large unfeeling creatures that is a little stereotypical of you.
2007-09-15 06:29:01 · update #3
no offense
2007-09-15 06:34:24 · update #4
This is one heckuva long paragraph. It is well written using proper punctuation, and emotions show.
I strongly suggest breaking it up into several paragraphs--if permitted for submission to your English class.
2007-09-12 15:20:36 · answer #1 · answered by Guitarpicker 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although your writing exhibits a lot of potential, it is somewhat too melodramatic for a simple paragraph about going back home after just a short stay in Texas.
2007-09-12 16:09:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can divide this long paragraph into several shorter paragraphs and not change a single thing.
2007-09-12 15:17:12 · answer #3 · answered by crowbird_52 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that was very good.
2007-09-12 15:17:09 · answer #4 · answered by hugs&kisses* 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋