please rate this poem from 0-100 please
I Thought it was their but i guess i was wrong
I thought the love was in the air. Once
Theres nothing happening now
no hugs not even a kiss or some love
Im breaken down now my heart cracked in half
oh i wish i was wrong
on day i saw her in the blue the next was my dream
Now i will my dream was life but it sux cuz it wont be
I wish i kised him 3 months ago but now my heart is cracked in 4's and soon thousands
now im screwed i dont know why im wasting my breath just talking to you
but i dont know why i still love you??
2007-09-12 14:37:56 · 24 answers · asked by jana k 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
its good but reread it there are a few places that dont make sence are you talking about a guy or girl ?
Now i wish my dream was would saound better and make more sence to me
2007-09-12 14:42:52 · answer #1 · answered by debrasearch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about a 3?
2007-09-12 21:43:19 · answer #2 · answered by Parker 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a really good poem and you can tell it comes from the heart.I would personally rate it a 100.Not many people have the gift that you obviously have and that is with words.You are able to let out your feelings in a beautiful way and with writing like this II would keep doing it if I were you.You put the words together so beautifully and at the same time I can feel the pain you are releasing in this and yet I feel as if my heart has been read.It's not only a personal emotion you are speaking about but people reading it can relate as well because at one point in time or another we've all had our hearts broke.We just can't word it as well as you.
2007-09-12 21:45:42 · answer #3 · answered by Shannon B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
17
2007-09-12 21:42:27 · answer #4 · answered by Red Sox 4 Life!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly that has got to be the worst poem that I have ever read. Your grammar and spelling need more work than a little bit, and you need to at least have some small grasp on a particular format of poetry writing in order to write a poem. It's obvious that you have no knowledge of poetry formatting. So on a scale of 1 -100, I give it a 1.
2007-09-12 21:43:41 · answer #5 · answered by sustasue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A really good way to get rid of the feelings is to rewrite the poem, clean up the spelling and grammar. Change the wording a bit. Do this several times. You are finished with the poem when the feelings are gone.
2007-09-12 21:44:50 · answer #6 · answered by Alicia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
65
(Some points deducted due to spelling issues)
I also did not like this line:
"my heart is cracked in 4's and soon thousands"
I understand the 4's... sort of. But that doesn't sound heartfelt nor poetic. Just, biological.
Pretty good overall. It needs a touch up hear and there.
2007-09-12 21:43:59 · answer #7 · answered by Jewish FiLiPiNo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I give it a 14. You need better vocabulary, and you need to express the idea a little better.
Also, you don't need a question mark at the end of the last sentence. You aren't asking if you still love him, you are STATING that you don't know.
Poerty is wonderful to get into though, so KEEP GOING! I know that by the time you finish this, it can be wonderful!
2007-09-12 21:43:03 · answer #8 · answered by DeltaKilo3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am an english teacher and i happen to teach creative writing. when writing a poem you have to make sure that the spelling is corriect, it took me so long to read it because i was trying to read through your errors. read it over out loud and see if you like it. i like that you don't rhyme because the words are flowing more easily. rewrite it and dont' let people that don't understand poetry tell ur work sucks. there are a lot of poets like walcott that they wouldn't be able to decipher and he's one of the greatest poets of all time
2007-09-12 21:46:42 · answer #9 · answered by WiseGirl84 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poems dont usually have internet slang in them like 'sux' and 'cuz' ......so Im going to give it a 3, because I'm feeling generous.
2007-09-12 21:43:28 · answer #10 · answered by Jo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋