So I'm a graphic designer and always have friends and friends of friends asking me to design things for them.. posters,logo's, business cards etc.. I used to enjoy it and say yes, but now I find I don't have the time anymore, once I have gone to work, been to the gym, got home made dinner & done some cleaning, the last thing I want to do is do more work.. I have explained this to friends that ask for stuff to be done but it usually results in them begging or offering to pay.. I don't care about the money I woud rather watch tv or read a book in my spare time than do more design work.. I've really lost my passion for it lately and am getting more annoyed with requests of work from friends.. How do I say NO to them.. they keep begging or saying that there's no rush just when I get a chance to have a look for them.. and after they harp on it I usually cave and say yes and resent doing the work for them..
How can I get them to take no for an answer???
2007-09-12 14:37:27 · 9 answers · asked by channille 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I can imagine how you feel. Maybe if you try the "look". After you have kindly explained yourself, which I think you are validated in feeling the way you do. If they ask again, simply turn your head to the side and look at them for a good long moment. Smile and then change the subject. There really should be no argument. If they are interested in paying you for your services, kindly hand them a business card and tell them you would love to help them out and to call your office for a legit appointment. If they are willing to pay, then this is a reasonable request.
2007-09-12 14:49:20 · answer #1 · answered by vintagepink- 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have a huge problem saying NO to people. I read a book about it, I can't remember the name of it....but the one thing I learned that has helped me a TON is this trick:
The next time somebody asks you to do something (and this works for everything, not just work), tell them you need to check to see if you can and get back to them.
That buys you the time to decide, it gives them the idea that you aren't 100% available for their bidding, it isn't rude, you can act like you "sure hope" you can, but most of all it gets you out of the heat of the moment.
I did it for a long time, it was such a relief! And now I've graduated to the point where I can just say, "You know, I'm just not going to be able to do that".
Another epiphany for me was when I realized that it is damn rude of people to keep begging or pressuring or finagling to get what they want. Most likely they don't have a problem saying NO to people. I gave myself permission to be impatient with people who are rude enough to put me in that position.
When giving an excuse, if you feel like they deserve one, always offer ONLY ONE EXCUSE. Otherwise it will sound like you are just scrambling for reasons to get out of it.
Don't say, "well, my mom is sick, and my car needs an oil change, and I'm waiting for the cable guy, and I'm in a fight with my boyfriend..." That will give them an opening to say, "Oh, you can do it after all those things are taken care of." One good reason is powerful, a bunch of reasons is waffley.
You could refer them to someone you know that "might not" be as busy, that does a good job, and is reasonably priced. Maybe give that person a heads up, or pick somebody who has no trouble saying "Nope!"
2007-09-12 14:58:44 · answer #2 · answered by sixgun 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I believe the person suggesting "Let me check and see if I have the time for that" is correct. Once you are able to look at it rationally and away from the glare of the friend being "right there" you will better be able to decide if you TRULY want to do the favour...or if you just want to avoid the guilt they're trying to shovel on you.
If the person truly values your work, they'll be willing to pay for it during regular office hours. If they truly value you as a FRIEND, then they'll respect that a favor is just that...a FAVOR. You are not obligated by virtue of being friends to do anything ever requested of you.
2007-09-12 16:01:40 · answer #3 · answered by Greg R (2015 still jammin') 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just don't do it. Don't cave in. OR you could tell them to go thru the proper channels to contact you for business and that you'll do it during your business hours and that it will cost them. If they're good friends give them a discount. The problem is YOU let it spill over into your your free time- that's not their doing its yours. Enjoy your tv and goto work in the morning!
2007-09-12 14:53:12 · answer #4 · answered by djtastykeish 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How dare they!
Seriously. Do not allow people to effect you this way.
Tell them flat out ...( in a nice way )...
"I'm flattered, but I really am not doing side work anymore."....the end
Offer to recommend someone for them to go see, your contacts are valuable to them......or tell them to come by the office and formally request your services.
You are not their everything. You cannot be....you have to learn to say no.
Example:
My friends and I are doctors and nurses. If we treated every person in our extended family and friends of friends and all the sick people we meet.................we would learn to hate life. We tell them to come by the office if they need to be seen. That is a reasonable thing to do.
You must assert yourself to be treated like a professional.
Just as every plumber, carpenter, electrician seems to have family and friends expect a discount.......and a job done right now................people have to learn to say no.
If they have enough confidence to ask you to do the work at home.....they can come by your office and request it be done in a professional manner. Those who ask probably wouldn't mind your requesting that of them at all. Try it.
2007-09-12 14:49:53 · answer #5 · answered by pink 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you know other graphic designers who would love a chance to design on the side and earn extra money? I would refer your friends to THAT person. Everyone's happy. :)
2007-09-12 14:48:36 · answer #6 · answered by julesl68 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them no.
It's not being rude or making you seem like a mean person.
You have every right to say no.
Don't be afraid to or be ashamed to and you don't have to make any explanations to why.
Just say no.
2007-09-13 06:28:19 · answer #7 · answered by ♥SLIM♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I'm sorry, but I have a lot of work to do already. I'd love to refer you to a colleague of mine. He/she does good work and I know he/she'll give you a good price."
2007-09-14 06:39:56 · answer #8 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BEST RESPONSE WITH OUT TAKING THE HEAT RECCOMEND THEM TO SOME ONE ELSE, OR PLAY SICK, COUGH, SNEEZE, ASK THEM TO STAY BACK, YOUR GETTING OVER THE FLU, COULD BE WEEKS, MONTHS, I DON'T KNOW?
2007-09-16 11:27:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋