I know I only want a small, simple ceremony, with close family & friends. My partner & I are paying for everything ourselves, so we don't want to be paying hundreds of dollars for meals etc, for people we never see!
Does this sound selfish?
I just don't want people to feel left out. Someone suggested I only invite close family & friends to the actual ceremony and then have perhaps a BBQ type reception and invite a lot more people. Would that work ??
2007-09-12 14:35:44 · 34 answers · asked by Not_a_toothless_pirate 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Don't EVER second-guess your decision to have a modest wedding that fits your budget. If it's not your style to do a fancy wedding, and if you can't envision paying a huge amount of money for it, then don't do it. Period. It is not selfish - it is knowing who you are and what you can afford.
I love the idea of a BBQ where you can introduce yourselves as a married couple, and where your larger group of friends and family can mingle. Congrats, and hope your planning goes smoothly.
2007-09-12 14:57:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've written conflicting things here. First you said you don't want to pay hundreds of dollars on food for people you never see, but then you want to know if you can do a small ceremony (which costs the same no matter how many people go) and a larger reception (aka: hundreds of dollars on people you never see).
If you want a small wedding, why is that selfish? I want a small wedding as well. I don't want more than immediate family at my wedding as well as an attendant or two on each side. So there would be less than 20 people altogether. If that's what you want, go for it. I don't think people will be left out when they realize it's family-only.
2007-09-13 01:54:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HA! No such thing as being selfish when you're doing what's best for you! We have rolled over and over the thought of the whole wedding thing spending. His family is all in Europe, and mine are clear across the country as well. So, no need for a large ceremony and reception for the small amount of close friends we do have here. So, because we want to be blessed by the church we will be married in a church and use the money we have saved to take our 30 friends out to have a nice dinner to celebrate and then go on a nice holiday together.
2007-09-12 14:48:44 · answer #3 · answered by wikkednaughtygrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with having a simple wedding. That is a great idea. What is most important is that you and your mate are together. Does anyone really matter besides him or her? If you are paying for the wedding, then make it simple. It is better to have a simple wedding with close friends and family and spend a lot on your honeymoon. Most people go to wedding for a show and to see who is there. Others go to the reception to eat the food. You dont want to spend alot of money for noisey and greedy people. Your loved ones are most important. Make it simple and small for the ones you really care about, those memories will last forever. Then do a little something for guest that did not come to the wedding. Even send invitations to people you know are not going to come, but will buy great gifts. God bless you and congrats! Have a ball, you deserve it.
2007-09-12 14:47:54 · answer #4 · answered by Nicety 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to do what you want to do, this is YOUR day not anyone else's. I am actually doing the same thing we are doing a small wedding and a small reception for only a few people. We tried to do a 75 person wedding it was getting up to $9,000. (we are also paying for it 100%)You are not being selfish at all. A wedding doesn't have to be expensive food, dj's, appetizers. If they are you friends they won't care where it is or what you serve. My family even offered to a backyard pot luck thing, everyone bring a dish etc. Good luck.
2007-09-12 14:54:55 · answer #5 · answered by Momof2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, by all means, have a small, intimate ceremony in a place that is special to the two of you and has meaning within your faith/spiritual context. An outdoor BBQ reception works just fine (many weddings in my family are even potluck, with Aunt Betsy's famous baked beans; Cousin Lou's incomparable potato salad; even the nondomesticated cousins bring the veggies and dip; the little cousins get involved in rolling up eating utensils in decorative napkins) ... a wedding should be joyous, not pretentious, and not try to outdo the previous wedding in the family or your circle of friends. Felicitations to all ...
2007-09-12 14:48:31 · answer #6 · answered by Barbara E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its right however you want it. I come from a family of huge weddings - I mean, up to 14 attendants on each side, ice sculptures, horse-drawn carriages, fireworks, you name it. I wanted something intimate and simple - even a simple dress. People told me I'd never find one because I required: no lace, no ribbons, no pouf, no train and no bow on my butt. Well, let me tell you, I found a simple and beautiful dress. I carried natural flowers - not even a bouquet really. My sister stood with me and my hubby's best friend stood with him. I dedicated my flowers to my grandma at the reception. There were about 100 people there - even the the dj cried. People were very moved by the smallness and intimacy of it all.
This meant many people were off the guest list, but no one expressed any poor feelings about it.
Do what feels right to you.
Also, inviting just close family and friends opens up the possibility for you to have a destination wedding somewhere and then have your reception once you get home.
2007-09-12 14:46:45 · answer #7 · answered by DSL 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not 'wrong', you should go with what you and your bf can afford. However, you need to plan and host a meal for your guests after the ceremony.
And no, you don't have different people coming to the reception. You ONLY invite the same people to witness the ceremony, and then attend the reception to celebrate with you.
So if you want it small, everything is kept small.
2007-09-13 03:34:38 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi and congratulations on your engagement!
Either of your options are fine. I love small, simple and intimate weddings. They are my favorite! Your other idea is fine also. You can have a small ceremony and then have a larger reception. It's up to you. But, NO, it's not wrong to not want a huge, fancy (and usually very pricey) wedding. Read other questions on this forum....this has been asked lots and there are many others like you who want something simple.
Whatever you choose, I hope you have a beautiful wedding day!
2007-09-12 14:45:37 · answer #9 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it's not wrong to want a small, simple ceremony. It's not even wrong to want to elope to Las Vegas, and avoid even the small ceremony. Don't worry about people feeling left out. They'll understand.
BTW, I have a friend who got married at the courthouse and had a BBQ reception party afterwards. It worked just fine.
For inspiration, here's a true story about a $150 wedding: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18628580/site/newsweek/
2007-09-12 14:41:14 · answer #10 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋