A question to parents with daughters?

Question

If you have ever had teenage daughter under the age of 18, and she got pregnant during that time, what did you think of it? Did you blame yourself? Did you wonder where you went wrong? Did you feel that you didn't raise your daughter right? If you are a mother, did you think it was because you were a single mother and your daughter had no father? Or did/do you think something was wrong with your daughter and she was crazy for doing that?

Or if you have a daughter at all, what would you think about this situation?

I am a teen and no I am not pregnant nor have I ever been. I see about 5 pregnant girls at my school and I just wonder this about their parents. It leaves me baffled.

Thank you ahead of time if you answer!

Answer 1

I am 22 years old. I got pregnant for the first time when I was 19 and unmarried. My mom wasn't mad because the father was the guy that I was engaged to. But....even though a lot of parents don't think about this the way I do, I think the way I think is right. (Opinions are like buttholes, everyone's gone one)
I have a young daughter and my hubby and I have discussed the possiblity of her coming home pregnant one day. You have to think...kids are kids and teens with raging horomones are just that also. You CANNOT stop a teen from having sex no matter what you do. If they are going to do it, they'll do it. The more you say no, the more they want to. There is nothing a parent has "done wrong" by causing their daughter to go have sex and get pregnant. Sure there are leading reasons to a girl wanting to be wanted by a guy because she doesn't have a good family or she was abused or any other reason. BUT there are plenty of girls who DO have those kinds of familys and DON'T go out and have unprotected sex and get pregnant, leading back to my inital point. Teens will have sex if they want to no matter what you, as their parent, tell them. It's a catch 22 beacuse you want them to be safe if they are going to have sex, but you feel that if you teach them about safe sex then you think that to them that means that they can actually go have sex and you're ok with it even though you're not.
If my daughter comes home at 17 years old and is pregnant, I won't shun her. I will be disappointed in her because I would hope that she would be comforable enough with me to come to me and tell me that she thinks she's ready and she wants to get on the pill. But if she doesn't then I will expect her to get a job and be going to school. I will help her as much as I can, but I WILL NOT raise her child for her while she is partying the night away. She'll have times where she can go and do whatever, but not by any means all the time.
There is nothing you can do to stop teens from being teens and having sex, no matter which way you put it. Not everyone sees things this way, but if you ground your teen and they sneak out of the house, isn't this basically the same concept???

Answer 2

I had a friend who got pregnant when she was 14, gave birth at 15... now shes 17... i've only met her parents a couple of times but she always had difficulty fitting in at school and i think her parents were partially to blame for that... i think her mom thinks she went wrong raising her because after she chose to keep her baby and raised her for a year and a half she dumped her on her mom and moved in with her dad... also lil gracey's dad is a crack addict and cant pay child support nor be trusted alone with her...

personally though, i dont think its the parents fault... i'm 17 and my parents couldnt have done a worse job raising me (well i guess they could have but you know what i mean) and i've managed to not only not get pregnant, but to not have sex yet either...

Answer 3

If I didn’t do my part as a parent to teach my daughter about safe sex I’d blame myself. But if I sat down and talk to my daughter about safe sex many times then my daughter should have known better about getting pregnant. I’d tell my daughter you’re going to finish school and I’ll help you help you support your child until you finish school. Then you’re going to get a job and go to college too but you’re not getting an abortion or putting your child for adoption. And it has nothing to do with her not having a father around because I know a lot of men that are single parents and they are bringing up their daughters on their own. Teen pregnancy has a lot to do with the parent or the parents not being strict enough to their daughters and sons, because it also takes a son to get a girl pregnant. So therefore single mothers or single fathers should also talk to their sons about safe sex. If you get a girl pregnant you’re going to be a man and support that child and you better finish school too. Without arguments, without fights, more communication and better understanding. All the real men stand up and be a real father to your sons too.

Answer 4

i would teach my daughter morals and keep a very tight rein on her. children are still sneaky though and at some point no matter how good the parents are it will be up to the child to make decisions. if my daughter made bad choices and ended up pregnant i would be upset but in the end i would tell my daughter that she had to have the baby and i would help her take care of it and she had damn well better be a good mother or else!!!

Answer 5

Im 17 and pregnant but my situation is different I have already graduated , I also Have been living on my own for a year and been with my feonce for 4 yrs.my parents were happy and personally if my daughter was in my situation I would be happy for her too. teen pregnancy isnt always a bad thing think about it, back in the day people got married early and had pregnant early , also just because young girls are pregnant doesnt mean they are hoes who sleep around.

Answer 6

I told my oldest daughter, that if she got pregnant, before she turned 18/ graduated, then the father would marry her or she would be out on her fanny. i raised her to keep her legs shut. She began sneaking out and going to her bf's house after school,on Friday, and when she turned 18, she left home. I'm glad. Now there is no tension in the house, and if he gets her pregnant, she is on her own. I got pregnant when I was 15,( yes my mom freaked, he was 19,go figure!) and my mom made me have an abortion. That is the problem with todays parents. They fear social services and what people will think of them should their daughter get knocked up out of wedlock. I did, and back then ( twenty - five years ago) parents could take their daughters to planned parenthood and make the kid have an abortion, whether or not the girl wanted it. She was a minor, and she would be made to do as her parents bade her to do. Nowadays, i do not see parents doing that as much, if at all.

Answer 7

I'm not a mother of a teen daughter, nor am I a mother at all. BUT I am a 17yr old female who had a pregnancy scare at 16, and I told my mom, She didn't blame herself, it wasn't her fault it was my choice, and she knew that, I was old enough to make my own decisions. My mom was shocked, she was upset, more so of the thought of me having sex in HER house, but then I told her it wasn't in her house, and that went away. Then the nervousness set in for her, She didn't want my "future to be ruined" or anything like that.

Anyways, this probably wasn't the answer you were looking for. but I thought I would give you my two sense anyways. Good luck.

Answer 8

I got pregnant when I was 17 and a senior in high school. It crushed my parents, but they were still there for me and supported me 100%. Some things just happen. It wasn't the end of the world. And my parents feel that way now too.

Answer 9

I feel that not having a father in the home is definately not a good thing. Ultimately we all have to make choices, and sometimes we do not make good ones. As a mother I would feel some guilt ,but I also know that I teach my daughter right from wrong.I can't be with her 24hrs. a day

Answer 10

My daughter isn't quite 18 and is not pregnant. I have no idea what I would do should she come home and tell me she is pregnant. It would be a shock and I would be sad at her choices but I hope I would be a big enough person to handle the situation with support and dignity. After all, it would be my grandbaby!