One of my bridesmaids has been bugging me from trying to be my MOH to trying to pick out her dress, even though I hated the color to inviting her daughter into the wedding party. Finally I just yelled "YOUR OUT OF MY WEDDING!" because I was so angry. She smirked and said "You can't kick me out of the wedding party." and laughed. I said "I sure can." and she said "No you can't, because I already bought your wedding gift." I then shut up but got a bridesmaid to replace her (1 of the junior bridesmaids). I am allowed to do this right? I mean she acted like SHE was getting married.
2007-09-12 12:18:36 · 39 answers · asked by Jasmine 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
And to top it all off she gave me the present and it was very cr@ppy. She got me the same lamp I got her for her birthday, so I'm returning it.
2007-09-12 12:31:19 · update #1
I didn't think it was crappy at the time, plus she poked holes through it and painted it some wild color and wrote "B****=Taylor" on it.
2007-09-12 14:50:36 · update #2
You sure as heck CAN kick someone out of YOUR wedding!
I'd laugh if someone told me "you can't because I bought your wedding gift"... then I'd tell her to shove it up her butt!
She should have been happy and not bugged you to make her your MOH or put her daughter in the wedding party.
Sounds like she wasn't the good friend you thought she was.
2007-09-13 04:01:48 · answer #1 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How many times do you need us to tell you that you don't have to do anything just because this woman tells you so?
And yes, you may remove her from the wedding party. I was in a wedding once where the other bridesmaid was a complete pain and kept insisting things be done her way rather than the bride's way. A month before the wedding, she was politely offered the opportunity to step down...but she knew it was either step down voluntarily or be removed without the chance to save face.
Whether or not a gift was given, or whether said gift was any good doesn't enter into the matter. Bridesmaids are supposed to support and help the bride, not give her headaches.
If she insists she's still in the wedding, disabuse her of the idea immediately. She probably won't want to be your friend anymore, but was she really one to begin with?
2007-09-12 14:00:30 · answer #2 · answered by gileswench 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's YOUR wedding and you should be able to do whatever "within" reason you want.. However, it may break apart an otherwise good friendship.. I would have a nice sit down chat at a coffee place or someplace nice spring for lunch and discuss your problems with her behavior.. .See what she says and discuss it like rational mature adults.. If the two of you can't come to a reasonable resolution than tell her she's out of the wedding... .If she's already purchased her dress, buy it from her and move on.... Tell her to take back the gift and be done with her... Until AFTER the wedding if it allows... Good luck
2007-09-12 12:24:36 · answer #3 · answered by pebblespro 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she does sound a tad pushy.
it is your wedding and you can choose to make changes to the wedding party if you want to.
make sure she understands that her services are not required. no matter what she now says you have already asked someone else to step in so you can't change your mind now. that would really compound the problem and unnecessarily hurt the feelings of the gal you have asked to step in. little miss troublemaker has made her bed and now she will just have to lay in it. sadly it may damage your friendship beyond repair but that is her doing not yours!
i would suggest having a little get together of your bridesmaids including the new one, a.s.a.p. and make a cute little toast to the new girl to thank her for stepping in and filling in for miss troublemaker! don't call her a troublemaker, just make a comment that she was unable to continue being a part of the wedding party. that is a tactful way of letting everyone know the troublemaker is out!
as for her buying you a gift, that is a comment born out of desperation!
you've made your decision, stick to your guns!
good luck girl! happy wedding!
2007-09-12 12:34:29 · answer #4 · answered by wild thing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me when I say I know where you are coming from. My wife and I were married over a year ago and I can honestly attest to the fact that weddings make people crazy. While you do have every right to choose who your wedding party, you should take a moment and remember why you invited her in your wedding in the first place. It will surely break her heart when she learns that you kicked her out of your wedding. A wedding ceremony is only for one day, but true frienships last forever. Congratulations on your wedding. I pray that you do the right thing. Peace and God bless.
2007-09-12 12:35:24 · answer #5 · answered by cave man 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It probably was the SAME lamp because she did not like it. Etiquette wise it is not good to kick our your bridesmaid. BUT th way she acted yes it is good idea. If she invited someone else into the wedding party without asking you or your invitation that is way out of line. her wanting to pick out her own dress is fair until she takes it too far. too far is insisting. asking if she can pick a dress and showing you one is ok. But you always have the right to say no and pick one out. if she was not your MOH to begin with its ok to kick her out. and you can kick her out if you want to. You can still invite her to the wedding. Return her gift she gave you to her and leave it a that.
2007-09-12 12:38:32 · answer #6 · answered by M B 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I invited some human beings to my wedding ceremony that could have mandatory "escorting" to the go out till now the nighttime grew to become into over - I had to ask them, they have been relatives! regardless of the undeniable fact that, I made effective I had some people who's interest it grew to become into on the reception to maintain a watch on them and contact them a cab if that they had too lots to drink and have been given roudy, abusive or violent. i think of the numerous element is nonetheless, I wasn't going to do the kicking out! i grew to become into there to appreciate myself - enable different human beings be the bouncers!
2016-11-10 06:46:11 · answer #7 · answered by mcclam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the right to remove anyone from your wedding party you want. But you don't have the right to yell at people and be rude. It would have been better to try to work out the problem diplomatically and if you couldn't, then to have tactfully removed her from your wedding party. No matter how much reality TV we watch, it's not appropriate to yell the equivalent of "YOU'RE FIRED!!!"
2007-09-12 14:31:11 · answer #8 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you can. It's your wedding. Send her a note letting her know she will not be needed and just move on.
Whether she is still invited to the wedding is up to you. She can return her gift. or whatever.
Then just go on planning your wedding to be the way you want it.
Good luck.
2007-09-12 12:24:19 · answer #9 · answered by Collette L 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Giving her the boot was probably the best thing for you. You don't need the stress. Its your wedding and you don't need someone who is supposed to be helping you stressing you out. One of my friends kicked someone out of her wedding party for the same reasons and everyone was a lot happy afterwards.
2007-09-12 16:51:33 · answer #10 · answered by stinky4sam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋