how long will this pain last?

Question

on the 16th of july 07 my mum passed away, she was ill for a long time. this is nearly two months ago and its only just startin to destioy me i have run away from my home town far away but i feel really gilty for not bein there for the rest of my family
am i a bad person for doin this.
please help im in loads of pain x x

Answer 1

Everyone grieves in different ways. You should be there for your family, but just as important your family should be there for you. Tell them that right now you having a particularly hard time. You may want to talk about it, or not; you may need a shoulder to cry on.

Some people turn to religion when a close family member passes away.

There are also support groups for people grieving a loss. I don't know how old you are, but there are also support group for teenagers who have lost parents. You can probably find them on the internet.

I wish you well.

P.S.: It took me about a year to really get over my mother passing away when I was in grade 12. That was almost two decades ago. Just writing this, brings back that lost feeling I had at the time.

Answer 2

sabrina.... oh, dear, I know your pain.... I lost my mum when I was 19.... and I would have run away too, if I hadn't had a little one.... the fact that it took two months for the shock to wear off and the reality to hit you like a ton of bricks is not unusual.... there are better ways of dealing with this grief, tho, and I think you being back with family is your best bet over all.... not only are they mourning the loss of your mum, but not they've lost track of you, too... and that's not fair for you to cause that in them..... you've doubled their pain..... please go home and let the natural grieving process continue.... it will take a good while before you feel 'whole' again.... and it will be with you as a shadow for just nearly ever.... you cannot lose your mom and have it just 'be over'... don't happen that way... I won't lie to you... it hurts, bad.... my mom's been gone now for nearly forty years and I still get the 'heart in my throat' when I talk or think about her.....

go home, honey.... you're on a bad road out there alone.... I care.... email me if you want... hugs.....