A girl that i used to work with up until about 3 weeks ago got married to a guy last December and about a month later, he was deployed to Iraq. He was supposed to come home in November for a while, and he was killed 3 days ago in Bahgdad. I feel so bad for her, she was so exited for him to come home. While we hit it off, and hung out outside of work a few times, we werent like best friends or anything...I feel like I should do something nice for her. Her aunt is also my boss and she is hurting too...I dont want to be overbearing b/c im not a really good family friend or anything. Some people from my work are pitching in to get flowers, but I was thinking I would send a small bouquet, or maybe a card to them just from me. How much is too much?
2007-09-12 09:45:35 · 13 answers · asked by chagee 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I'm so sorry for her.
My boyfriend was just deployed to Iraq and I still have no idea how to deal with his deployment.
But I suggest you be there for her. Tell her you're there for her, and if there's anything she needs, you're there.
With grief like that there's not much you can really do but comfort her and be there you know?
Time heals all wounds.
A card saying sorry for your loss, flowers, sometimes people bring over food so that the person doesn't have to bother with maintaining house and home as much while they're grieving.
I understand about the overbearing thing but letting her know you're there helps when someone might feel like their alone in this world.
Good luck :]
2007-09-12 09:51:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think all of the suggestions are great, but she will not ever get over her loss, maybe in time, it won't be as great. In a month or so, when most people have gone on with their life, she may welcome a card, an invite for coffee, or a call to see how she is. My brother-in-law passed away 5 months ago and I call my sister-in-law ever week or so to say hello. She says she appreciates the call a lot. If you do call your friend in a month or so and she is not really receptive, she may still be grieving to the point she does not want to go anywhere. Just be a friend to her for the long run, she will need it.
2007-09-12 12:19:39 · answer #2 · answered by Don Drapers woman 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A card would be very nice, just let her know you are there for her if she needs to talk. The worst thing for a widow is being a lone all day long. She needs to get out of the house.
2007-09-12 09:50:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I loved all of the answers, and liked Carol W's the best. My niece lost her husband almost 3 years ago (also in Iraq) and sometimes she needs to talk about it. Over time, either the young widow or her aunt may appreciate someone to care, or to listen. They are both lucky to have you in their lives.
My sincere condolances.
2007-09-12 15:16:10 · answer #4 · answered by June B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send the card and if there's a memorial of some kind, try to make it. Little things make all the difference, believe me. And even if you weren't close, it'll still mean the world to her to know you're there. But do me a favor, if you tell her you're there for her anytime she needs it or that you'll do whatever you can to help her....mean it. Don't just say it.
2007-09-12 09:52:47 · answer #5 · answered by OhKatie! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contribute to the flower arrangement everyone is pitching in for and then send a card from just you expressing your sympathies would be perfect.
2007-09-12 09:59:57 · answer #6 · answered by Erin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the 1st answer is super. i'd deliver him his favourite candy or chocolates and according to probability a calling card so he would desire to call domicile. once you deliver one next time enable him understand that a woman from Texas is truly appreciative of each and all the adult adult males over there are doing. You carry in there and optimistically he would be domicile quickly as nicely as each and each of something. I even have in no way understood why we ought to have wars.
2016-11-10 06:28:28 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send some food over, go to the service. A hug is priceless.
2007-09-14 05:11:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You won't be considered overbearing if you quietly offer to be with her sometimes.
When you lose someone you love the thing you need to do most is talk. Be there.
2007-09-12 09:56:10 · answer #9 · answered by Just Tink 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cook something and take it to her. At this time, she will not feel like cooking, but they still need to eat. Take everything, the food, paper plates, etc. trash bags, cups, coffee, sodas. etc. Let her know that you are there if she needs anything. My condolences....
2007-09-12 09:49:40 · answer #10 · answered by deb 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋