i was in a relationship with a guy for four years and we were planning to someday be married. he broke up with me because he felt "tapped" and just wanted to see other people.
during the time we were apart i did everything to try to get him back, including having sex with him. he moved closer to his parents and before he left we had sex, and i knew the whole time he still had feelings for me.
well, a few days before someone from elementary school found him on myspace and they have a lot of common interests. his feelings for me are somehow gone and he feels he's in love with this girl after only talking for a few weeks. she also has a two-year-old girl and he feels he loves her too just from pictures and hearing her voice over the phone.
she lives about 5 hours away from him and the crazy part is i know when he sees her this weekend he's going to want to marry her...he is very impulsive like that.
can he really be in love or is he just avoiding me and his problems?
2007-09-12 09:05:58 · 32 answers · asked by music_freak 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
shesh some people can be down right mean on here.
I know that this mess doesn't make any sense to you and that its hard to think that he could move on so quickly from you.Some guys just don't get it !!! He is in rebound mode right now so he is going to make a lot of wrong choices that hurt you.I am sorry about that.Who's to say if he goes and sees this girl and realizes that its not what he thought it would be.I hope he doesn't just go get married right now and takes the time to see if its real or not.Even if he does you never know in this day and age people are always getting divorced.Not to say wait around for him cause it might come back just try and work on yourself for you.I know that is going to be hard and not fun at all. I don't understand why he would share all of this with you when he knows how you feel about him.He sounds really immature in some ways.He should not have been having sex with you also knowing how you feel.Cause us woman take that as a serious thing and don't do that unless we think theres more to it.If he was done with the relationship he should have just said we are over I am sorry I can't see you anymore right now.I know that would have been hard but at least you wouldn't be torn apart every time you are intimate but not together.Sometimes guys who are immature think by still doing little things with you they are helping you not hurt so much but they are actually doing more harm.Do something fun for you try to get your mind off of the situation.watch movies not love movies funny ones.if you are old enough to go to a club go dance or just watch people. Go for a run that always helps get anger and hurt out .and it makes you will feel better to.Don't call him just let him figure himself out.If it is meant to be then he will come back into your life again in the right time.Just try to forgive him cause he really doesn't know what he is doing. I hope all works out and if you need someone to talkt to e-mail.
2007-09-12 09:30:48 · answer #1 · answered by foxy lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-07 18:57:29 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I doubt he's really in love.
Problem is....HE may think he is.
People in his situation that think that will ruin their whole world over exactly what he's doing. They will leave their families, quit their jobs, and up and take off....and eventually lose everything because they were flying blind. This c an all take place regardless whether sex is involved or not. It's a total rube job and they fall for it....the fantasy.
Whatever is going on in his life that he feels' tapped...and that's a REAL deal......he is running away. Somehow he has reached and surpassed his limit. Whatever has taxed him either for so long, or so severely that he has done what he's done is a real thing. Whatever has caused this is the culprit.
Chances are it will never be fixable either. Whatever it is that taxed him like this will be forever imprinted on him and he will always associate that pain, or feeling of being 'tapped' to this situation/job/relationship/region/boss/combination....whatever.
I don't thin my going into all the reasons that can cap this kind of thing off in someone's mind, but they are many and many. I'm sure you have an idea.....since you are so close to him.
Anyway......I'm guessing the guy is gone. There's always a chance that he could find the error of his ways and return, but unless the 'condition' that tapped him is gone, I doubt you will ever see him again.
I'm sorry this has happened to your relationship. It's sad when love ends this way. I've been there man.....believe me. I've had the screws turned on me more than I care to think about.
I guess just do some self-introspection and learn from this. Learn what warning signs you had....learn to maybe make changes in yourself...after all we must grow and change from these things, otherwise we run the real rick of repeating such events.
I wish you a peaceful heart and happiness for always.
2007-09-12 09:20:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Curious,
To love someone is a choice we make everyday, therefore, it's a lot better to give your body to the man you love under the covenant (pact) of marriage, than without it. A man that chooses to marry a woman will be more commitment oriented, than feeling oriented. When disagreement comes to the picture, which it does in all couples (married and unmarried), the man will be more formally and legally bonded to stay in the relationship even though he feels not being with his wife at all. The woman's heart is protected. Eventually the disagreement passes by, and the family entity stays together, which is crucial when children are present.
Your boyfriend wasn't married to you, his commitment was more out of convenience that out of love. He found someone else whom he 'feels' he is more compatible with, therefore he might ended up marrying her as you mentioned. However, this is still not a guaranty to live 'happily ever after'. When his 'feelings' are gone, he might be gone too.
Statistics show that couples that speed up from: 'I just met you and I like you', to 'I want to marry you' in less than three months, more likely will end up in another divorce one or two years after the wedding.
You are a priceless jewel. Appreciate yourself. Get some knowledge how to get a date worth keeping, how to find a man that fits your character, and then decide if you are ready to trust this man with your heart and body.
Good luck. I am here for you if you need further advise.
Your friend,
Bright Light
2007-09-12 09:36:22 · answer #4 · answered by Bright Light 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know if hes avoiding you or not but my ex did the same type of thing. we were together for 3 years and broke up and the next girl that he started going out with, he rushed things and told her he wanted to get married. Well they broke up and now he wants to marry the girl hes with now who has 2 kids. And before he didnt really want kids. I think its to hide from the real feelings he has. At least thats what i think my ex is doing. Hope thins helps.
2007-09-12 09:12:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How he feels about this girl (real feelings, infatuation, whatever) is none of your concern. You broke up. It's over. You can't get him back. He's moved on. It's high time you did too.
The only actions you have any control over are your own. Now stop thinking about him, worrying about him, obsessing about him, stalking his MySpace, texting him, calling him, driving by his house, wondering what he's doing, etc. and live for yourself for a change.
2007-09-12 09:14:11 · answer #6 · answered by Elizabeth 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever it is that he is feeling, the point is that you still aren't over him and are borderline obsessing about him. Who cares if he gets married to her or whether he is in love. let it go. You want him to want you back because you still have feelings for him, and are reading too much into what he is doing so you can try to have some hope that he will come back to you. Which is a waste of your time.
2007-09-12 09:09:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why should you care? Honestly, he doesn't want to be with you. I'm sorry but that's the truth. You need to move on and leave him alone. If you think you're better then find someone better than him. It may hurt but if you don't let go you'll never find the perfect man made for you.
2007-09-12 09:09:47 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I will say this..if he really cared about you he would not be doing that you.
I do feel that you need to get over him quick he has gotten over you pretty fast
Here's some woman to woman advice....never have sex with a man because you are trying to make him stay with you...
why give yourself away that easy..make me want you in some many different ways. Give him reasons to want you and not just for sex.
I would say for you to move on and let him go he has let you go.
2007-09-12 09:12:16 · answer #9 · answered by Michelle E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl - he's in lust, not in love. Why are you stressing out over a guy that left you after four years of being together because he felt "trapped?" Were you a psychotic girlfriend? I mean did you drive him crazy? Something doesn't seem right here.
2007-09-12 09:13:25 · answer #10 · answered by Paula Christine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋