Have you ever tried to give a cat a pill? Is this helpful?

Question

HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILL

1 Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm, as if holding it like a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth and allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2 Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3 Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw away soggy pill.

4 Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5 Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

6 Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7 Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8 Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9 Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink one beer to take away taste. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10 Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed, get another pill, open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door on neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon, flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11 Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour short drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Apply whisky compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw away tee-shirt and fetch new one from bedroom.

12 Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13 Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash it down.

14 Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to Accident and Emergence Department. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15 Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.


HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL - Wrap it in bacon

Answer 1

it's easier to put the pill in the food..same as dogs, just crunch it up and put it in the food bowl...

Answer 2

I think that is great and so true. Have you ever heard of the Rules For A Cat Who Has A House To Run.

1. Chairs And Rugs: If you have to throw up, get into a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time,get to an oriental rug. If there is no oriental rug a shag rug will be sufficent. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up while doing so, to make sure the mess you leave is as long as a human foot.

2. Doors. Do not allow closed doors at any time in your house. To get a door open, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once the door is opened it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an outside door open, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow and mosquito season.

3. Bathrooms: Always accompany humans to the bathroom. Make sure they let you in (see above rule regarding doors) and then simply sit there and stare at them.

4. Guests: Quickly determine which guest hates cats. Sit on the humans lap. If you can arrange it have the latest brand of catfood on your breath. (Perferably fish)

When sitting on a guests lap or rubbing against their pants, select the color most opposite from your colour of fur. For example if you are white choose black trousers and Vice versa.

When guests are over for dinner, be sure to jumpo right up on the table and drag your tail through every dish. When scolded be sure to look surprised , so as to show the guests that you are normally allowed up there.

4. Hampering: If one of your humans is busy and the other is being lazy stick with the busy one. This is called helping but otherwise known as hampering. If your human is reading get between them and the book.

If they are knitting. curl up quietly prtending you are asleep and then reach out with your claws and pull the stitches with your claws.Note this works well with a pen when they are writing.

5. Play: Sleep all day and play kitty games during the night.

6.Sleep: Always sleep on top of your human. If they move make it clear this is not allowed.

In conclusion make sure you teach your human the rules. Start early and be consistent. Once they are taught successfully , you will have a smooth running house

Answer 3

So true! Thank you so much for this, was sent it a while ago but lost it and have been dying to get it back. Anyone who has had a cat who won't take a pill knows that this is not so far fetched.

Answer 4

Use your thumb and index finger to hold cats mouth open then pop the pill at the back of cats mouth. When cat closes her mouth quickly stroke her throat continuously and this causes the cat to swallow. Hey presto, pill gone!

Answer 5

Is this the longest question ever posted on Yahoo? Yes, giving cats a pill is hell. Myself, I cut tablet in half and wrap in boiled ham or hide in potted beef, usually works.

Answer 6

Best question I have ever seen on here lol. I really thought I was going to get some advice because I have been through a lot of the above list with my cat and given up!! You really cracked me up, thank you - I should say thanks for nothing really!

Answer 7

lol i put a pill in my cats food and it ate all food and left the pill lucky the jaw opening and holding was an easy task for me

Answer 8

Thumbs up !

Answer 9

thanks for a good laugh i must have been stupid with my old cat used to by best prawns to hide pill in lol

Answer 10

i lv it ! heard it before n still find it funny, but its really not that hard all i do is cover it in cheese and they lv it :D