So.. here's my dillemma..
I'm single now.. have been for two weeks, not ready for another boyfriend but I'm thinking about the future.. I'm a christian and I'm struggling with the fact christians should date christians.. please don't abuse me for that, just respect that's my belief..
But I don't know what to do, because I'm not like other christians. I don't like preachy christians or controlling goody goody one's.
I'm just normal, but believe in God and do my best to do the right thing.
So I don't think I'll be happy with any of the christian guys I've met because they're.. SUPER christian.
What do I do?
I don't want to be alone.
I'm 18, and I would love to be engaged at 21.. I reckon I'm gonna TRY to take at least a year off to just find myself and enjoy being single. But yeah.. so at 19/20 I'm worried about not finding someone.. I don't live in the city either.. towns population is about 15000.
2007-09-12 07:47:20 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
By the way for whoever it was who mentioned soul mates.. sorry I've forgotten your username..
I don't believe in soul mates..
I believe when you marry someone they BECOME your soul mate through marriage.
Because I believe if your partner dies you can remarry (although if I'm old I probably wont remarry)
So how can you have just one person out there for you? I don't believe in soulmates, you can.. but just letting you all know I don't so when answering that can help you a bit more.
2007-09-12 08:02:13 · update #1
I'd love to be engaged so young because I want to have my children in my mid twenties.
I don't want to have children in my 30's.. that's just too late for me.
I know I'm 18, but I'm not 18 mentally, and tend to go for guy a couple years older than me.
And I don't think in the now, I think in the 10 years from now, I know I could meet someone at 20 and be engaged at 21.
I want to be single for a while.
I'm just afraid of the future.
2007-09-12 08:11:02 · update #2
How many times will I add additional details, you may ask lol
I'm not in a rush to marry anyone.. if I'm 21 and we a fella and I wasn't 100% sure of marrying him, I wont marry him in the hopes "Meh, at least I'll be married"
I'm not dumb.
So PLEASE stop saying stuff about the being engaged at 21..
That's the age i'd like to engaged at.
Not the age I HAVE to be engaged at.
I know exactly what I want in life. And wont settle for less just because I want to be married.
All I'm saying is.. I don't want to be in my 30's having children.. I can't have children at that age and would rather not say why.
2007-09-12 08:38:19 · update #3
Please forgive me if I sound like I'm talking down to you, I don't mean to, and I'm serious. As an older woman, may I make a suggestion? Right now, look to the future when it comes to a career for yourself. Don't start worrying about "ending up alone" at so young an age. If I had it to do all over again, I would put guys on the back burner and find a career that inspired me. There is lots of time for guys, and believe me, please, God's choosing and timing will be vastly superior to anything we could come up with.
Loneliness should never drive anyone into a relationship. Allow God to guide you, in all things, and especially, stay with Christian men. A person who does not believe in God....what possible foundation could you ever build on?
Best wishes to you, I know everything will turn out fine if you trust Jesus for your future.
2007-09-12 07:51:57 · answer #1 · answered by Esther 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all, what is your rush? You are so young so why put a deadline on when you want to be engaged by? As another Christian myself, we both know it is in God's timing, not ours. And no, I am not a "preachy Christian" and would never want to date one either.
You are truly so young with a whole life ahead of you. I have found that God's timing has been perfect, though it wasn't always my timing. In fact, there were many times that I was so mad at God for His timing, and yet, it really was for the best. I am much older than you and have realized, often the hard way, that life is not to be rushed, but instead, to be cherished.
Even in your so-called "small town of 15,000", there may be the perfect man for you. You will never meet him however if you are setting there lofty goals and timeframes for yourself. You could be so quick to settle for someone just because it was in your timeframe, and ultimately pass up the one you were truly meant for.
Lastly, you say you have been single for 2 weeks. That is nothing in the grand scheme of things. You learn a lot about life when you are on your own. Learn to be happy with yourself and have the best relationship with your own self before you start rushing out to try and find someone.
2007-09-12 07:59:58 · answer #2 · answered by Singthing 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a 25 year old Christian woman. Don't put the pressure on yourself to look for that future husband everywhere you go! I think that is the worst thing you could do to yourself, and ultimately sets you up for failure. Just take life easy, don't stress about having to be engaged by the time you are 21, remember GOD is ultimately in control. Your future husband will be there when you least expect!!!! I know, it happened to me, and I have been happily married for 4 years. (sorry sounds like an informercial)
2007-09-12 07:55:07 · answer #3 · answered by cm7882 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl, you are trying to rush things! Drop your personal agenda and focus on God. He has someone perfect for you! Take it from me, I married a non-believer thinking it wouldn't matter and for the first few years it was fine, but boy, you sure make life difficult down the road. If you could see all the pain and anguish it caused me because I didn't want to be alone either!!
Your main issue is "not wanting to be alone". You have GOT to let God fill this feeling of VOID and not depend on a boyfriend to give you those happy feelings. Seriously, you sound just like me 10 years ago! Trust that God has someone picked out for you and be patient!!!
2007-09-12 07:52:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Christianity A follower of Christ. Faith in God to do what he said he would do. He ask us to seek first the kingdom and all these things will be added unto you. God should be your focus. If you never meet a man of your choosing will you give up on God? The Bible says a man that finds a wife finds a good thing not a woman that finds a man. What is a virtuous woman. Proverbs 31:10-31.
2007-09-12 08:17:37 · answer #5 · answered by God is love. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe this answer is too "christian" for you.
You know, maybe you heard this answer a million times but I'll tell you this way. I see you're looking at the whole picture...getting married and have a family, and if you want that, you need to wait. God has someone for you and it doesn't matter how small your town is. Believe me, just concentrate on what you have going now, and let the rest happen by itself.
2007-09-12 07:54:16 · answer #6 · answered by Christopher 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know exactly what you call a super christian.
But, if you're talking about someone who is trying to live by the bible, reads their bible all the time, talks about Jesus all the time, etc. I see nothing wrong with that. I call that a normal christian.
And when you say you're normal. Do mean normal like the world is? I know I will not be voted with the best answer, but I have to tell the truth. I pray that you become a super christian.
God will reward you for it. Pray to God for Him to show you who He wants you to be. The bible says that we're bought with a price. That we are not our own.
And as far as a new guy...pray for the Lord to send you one that He wants you to have.
2007-09-12 08:38:39 · answer #7 · answered by photoguy1959 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think anything is wrong with being passionate about one's faith but some people are passionate in a very awkward way and I can relate to what you say about people being too "preachy or goody goody". Don't know about this one. If you don't want to leave town you could just get out a lot and talk to as many guys as you can until you eventually find your needle in a haystack.
2007-09-12 07:54:57 · answer #8 · answered by Nikolas M 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dating is not really nessessary to find your soulmate. God has somone for you and will bring you together in His time. Just have faith and trust Him. I got married at 22 with my soul mate that God brought me without even looking. He showed me without a doubt this was the person i was going to marry before we went on our first real date. :) When you get the one, God will also have plans for you 2, and he will provide your every need if you trust Him and dont try to take things into your own hands. We have been married now for 2 years.
2007-09-12 07:53:03 · answer #9 · answered by joer80 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just find a guy with good morals why is so important that he has the same belief as you? if u could find a man with good morals and respects the fact that u are a good christian woman who would want to raise their children that way he would respect that.
2007-09-12 07:57:47 · answer #10 · answered by melissa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋