Having a Bachelor and Bachelorette party before you both get married? Is'nt this considered a test?
2007-09-12 07:43:53 · 20 answers · asked by Simple Life 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Sure, I don't see anything wrong with having stag and hen parties before the wedding. I don't see it as a test AT ALL.
I would love to have a sleepover party for my hen party! I don't drink and a lot of my friends don't, either. I also don't really like clubs and bars because of that reason and also I would just way rather talk and laugh with my friends and you can't hear them in a bar. So my party would be pretty tame, to say the least!
I'd be all for my bf having a stag before the wedding as well. I know he'd end up at a strip club because I know his friends! (He's a germaphobe and HATES strip clubs - yes, seriously - but he'd go for a stag.) But I would really not like for him to have a lap dance. I just don't think they're necessary.
But anyway, I just think a stag or hen is a way to get out and have a good time with some friends. I honestly don't think there's anything wrong with it.
2007-09-12 08:51:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely! A Bachelor and Bachelorette party are not about rounding up avail people and tempting you or having a last fling. It can be, but everyone I've gone to hasn't been like that. The one's I've attended and my own bachelorette party were more about having a great time, blowing off some pre-wedding steam with all the planning, and just celebrating the bride or groom. Parties can vary from a night out to a weekend get-away.
2007-09-12 08:05:17 · answer #2 · answered by Erin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, here's my opinion on the whole bachelor/ette party thing.
The parties themselves aren't the problem. Going out for a guys'/girls' night is really no big deal. HOWEVER, there are a couple of things people so on those nights that I don't think should be done.
First of all, I've never seen the point in strippers. You've declared your eternal love for someone and plan to spend the rest of your life with that person so you celebrate by watching a strip tease?!? That's a total contradiction! People try to justify it by saying it's your "last night being single". Umm, that's actually about as far from the truth as you can get. Last night being LEGALLY single, yes. But in NO WAY are you single that night. Want to see strippers? Shoulda thought of that while you really were single.
The things I've seen lately for bachelorette parties are disgusting. At Spencer's you can buy the Bride-to-Be a t-shirt with all kinds of dares on it ranging from the slightly innocent "dancing on a table", to the horrible "go up to a random guy, tell him it's your bachelorette night, and get him to kiss you". WTF?!?! Once again, why would someone want to do this when they are about to get married?!?
Don't get me wrong, I don't see anything wrong with going out for drinks and being silly. But what people should understand if they're doing these nights separately is that girls' night is for the girls and guys' night is for the guys. PERIOD!
2007-09-12 08:10:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't consider this a test so much as a personal decision based on taste and individual personality.
There are also bachelor(ette) parties and parties. My sister-in-law absolutely vetoed the concept of a bachelor party, but my brother never wanted strippers or prosititutes or stag films. All he wanted was to go down to his favorite local bar and grill with some good friends and have a couple beers.
There's no way I would have wanted strippers or drinking or genitalia-shaped finery, but I wouldn't have minded having a nice dinner or a sleepover with the girls.
And when I asked my husband if he wanted a bachelor party, he looked horrified...I think because it never occurred to him that it could be any fun. After all, the last one he'd been to had consisted of the groom and his buddies sitting around talking about their cars while the groom's father watched stag films in the next room.
I think bachelor(ette) parties get a reputation, but I doubt many of them result in the sort of degenerate behavior people assume is automatic.
2007-09-12 07:56:56 · answer #4 · answered by gileswench 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No not really, it's all make-believe. The groom's "friends" take him to a strip club and try to get him drunk. Then the strippers try to tempt, trick, humiliate, or otherwise maneuver the groom into doing something indiscreet. His true friends are his allies in this, steering him away from anything that might actually jeopardize his marriage. The next morning, he brags to his beloved "You'd have been proud of me honey, I fought those girls off" while his friends reassure her that "He was just fine until he started puking."
A bachelorette party is only slightly similar. Rather than fondling strippers, the "naughtiness" will probably be more along the lines of flirting with and dancing with as many men as possible. Probably there will be no "fought 'em off" brag, but there may well be a puke report.
Remember, it is all play acting. Everyone present has a responsibility to prevent actual indiscretions.
2007-09-12 08:16:12 · answer #5 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These parties are supposed to just be friends and possibly family getting together to celebrate the upcoming wedding of the person...it shouldn't be a test. There doesn't have to be strippers or bar hoping, etc.
They should just be fun. We each did our own thing with our separate friends, but we set boundaries - no strippers, no strip clubs, etc. There was no need for that. We just wanted to get togehter and have a few drinks with our friends and hang out.
2007-09-12 07:55:41 · answer #6 · answered by SisterSue 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think there definitely should be a bachelor and bachelorette party.
2007-09-12 07:59:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't a test at all ... it is an opportunity for the bride and groom to go out with their friends for one last time as single individuals. Plenty of good clean fun can happen without things turning into a test. If you or your fiance think that you're going to get too drunk to control yourself, then maybe you need to really think about getting married at all.
2007-09-12 07:56:18 · answer #8 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he wants to have one, I'm fine with tat because I do trust my fiance 100%. I don't consider it a test. I'd never marry someone I couldn't trust--whether it's in the workplace or at a party.
2007-09-12 08:12:37 · answer #9 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not supposed to be a teast, like can a guy prove his love by not sleeping with a hooker or anything like that!
it's SUPPOSED to be a fun night with friends without your significant other, so you get reminded that you have each other as well as a lot of other great people in your lives. it's supposed to remind you that it's OKAY to go out with friends by yourselves even after you're married.
my husband went to dinner a comedy club with his friends and dad. I had some friends over for movies and drinks. both were just qulaity time with people we love.
2007-09-12 08:14:56 · answer #10 · answered by Erica S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋