3rd week of school my son sent home twice?

Question

My 6yr old 1st grade son has been in school for 3 weeks. I received another call from the principal this morning to come pick him up, that he is showing aggressive behavior toward the teacher. The teacher is very patient with him, but with the rules these days this can't be tolerated. I have an appointment with the therapist we used last school year, but don't really know what to do at this point. He completes school work quickly, complains of boredom, then just sometimes has a fit because he needs to correct his writing, and other days he's fine with being told to correct his writing. Sometimes I wonder if its just a game, then how do I get him serious? I need something to change or he's going to end up getting suspended and expelled from school. Not to mention my nervous breakdown

A few details to follow up: I meant by "games" he thinks its a game and does it when he wants.

My husband and I are together, we rarely disagree, and never in front of my two kids because we don't want them to see for one, and play us against each other for two.

We rarely have this behavior at home, more of it is "don't talk to me", he also calls himself stupid and loser (no idea where he got that from), and he believes he should be able to do the work by himself and hates his mistakes, he is his worst critic and very hard on himself.

Answer 1

Spend more time with him. Children are very intelligent... Ask him why he flys off the handle at the teacher, and go from there.

DO NOT PUT HIM ON DRUGS...this doesn't solve the problem, it only covers it up and makes your child a vegetable...HE DOES NOT HAVE ADD.

HE IS NOT 'SPECIAL' just because you or teachers can't handle his fits...he's just a kid...and you said so yourself that he "completes school work quickly, complains of boredom"...HE DOES NOT BELONG IN SPECIAL ED...he blongs in a gifted/talented program.

Ask him what sports he likes...and enroll him in his favorite one.

If he doesn't like sports, what does he like, building model planes teaches patience...etc. Hobbies and/or sports deflect aggression into concentration.

He's bored in school...because he's too smart for the drivel they offer him there...maybe he's loving a subject...history/science etc and not getting enough...take him to local library, get him his OWN library card and let him pick whatever he wants out of the adult section...READ IT WITH HIM.

EXAMINE HIS DIET...sugar? caffeine? processed meat? eliminate these...they cause chemical reactions in a child's brain and are the root of many behavior issues.

He seems to take pride in his writing. Be sure that he is actually getting "corrected" when the teacher tells him to change something...and not "nit picked". He's probably frustruated because he knows he's smart and does everything right but somehow it's never perfect. Teachers will "nit pick" the smart kid to impress upon him/her that he/she is still learning in the class (because often times the smart kid is obvious about their boredom in class and transfers that into their perception of the teacher's intelligence and therefore their respect or lack thereof for the teacher), as well as illustrate to the other children that even the smart kids aren't perfect.

He needs to know that his current behavior is unacceptable. Using a therapist is transferring your authority as a parent and will only hurt things in the long run. Sit down with your son and his father and have a "family meeting"...this will let him know it's serious. If he doesn't have a father...don't assume a therapist can fill that gap. You know more about your child than anyone else...and if he can't confide in you so much that a therapist is needed, there's a serious problem. He's only SIX...

Hope that helps.

*cheers*

Answer 2

He may have ADHD. this is very common and there are meds that will take that edginess away without making him a zombie . fast foods and mass amounts of hormones in our foods are the reasons behind this trend. I am an adult with the same problem. I get bored very easily and barely sleep 3-4 hrs a day. But on the positive side I graduated early from high school and college. And I have gone on to own several business's. Talk with your child's teacher about giving him extra credit work or maybe he can color. Something to keep his mind focused



I think he will be fine. Just reassure him that he is a very smart boy

god bless and good luck

Answer 3

See a therapist and make sure that you don't tolerate similar behaviors at home. He is old enough to understand school and rules. If he's acting out there chances are the behavior is not limited to school time. Also, being bored isn't an excuse for being disruptive. There are plenty of bright children who are ahead of the average class who do not act out.

Answer 4

Maybe he wants to come home, he knows he will get to come home if he throws a fit. I would try rewarding him for his good days. Like a star system, get a calender and for everyday without a fit put a star on the calender, after he earns so many stars in a row he gets a prize. You could use it for other things too like acting us at the store or whatever behavioral problems you may have with him. You should get him tested before doing this. it could be something more, but don't rush to conclusions.

Answer 5

I went through a similar situation with my daughter. After having her tested for a speech delay, the school district recommended I put her in a half day preschool program 5 days a week. There she could interact with the other children, learn how to speak for herself, and go to speech therapy twice a week. Being the youngest everyone in the family unconsciously tended to speak for her. At first I was nervous because she was so young (3), but I decided to try it out. It turns out that she loved it and her speech started to improve quite rapidly. However, I do agree with you. 6 hours is too long! Do they offer a half day option? Can you send him somewhere else that does? If not I would stick with what you are doing until he after he turns 4.

Answer 6

I'm shocked that the school would send a 1st grade student home, twice. How aggressive can a 5-year-old be? It seems to me that if his teacher cannot control a group of kids this young, he/she should not be teaching. All your son is being taught is that he can go home if he's bored and acts up. Used to be that we had to stay longer if we caused trouble. I wish you luck with your son's therapy. If he were mine, I would change schools and let the new teacher know that it's their responsibility to teach him how to act in the classroom.

Answer 7

It is a good idea to see the therapist. It might be ADHD, but hard to tell from your question alone, which is why it's good to see a therapist who can find out what's going on.

You mentioned that you used this therapist BEFORE, so maybe he has an ongoing condition and you might need for him to see a child psychologist on a regular basis.

Answer 8

Sounds like he's very bright, and a quick learner. Maybe he is just bored, and negative attention is still attention... I'd seek into a therapist and see what they may reccomend. He may need to have some school activities changed around.
Good Luck

Answer 9

I am not a proponent of "oh it's ADD", but in this case, it just may be. His inability to focus on tasks or go back to make corrections seem to be causing most of the distress, and he may benefit from some sort of ADD therapy, whether it be medical (there is now a patch they are using) or just psychological. It's one of those "eye rollers"- but again- there are kids who TRULY have this as an issue

Answer 10

Normally, I would not tell a parent this, because all parents think their child is exceptional. You need to have him tested for the gifted program. Also, if at all possible you need to consider a private school. Whether your child is advanced or slow, the student to teacher ratio is much lower. Your son needs more one on one.
If there is no possible way that you can send him to a private school or homeschool him. I would still have him tested. If he is gifted, he is truly bored. He will need stimulation.