Am I wrong for letting this bother me? and would it bother you?

Question

Ive just gave birth to my 3rd child on the 7th of this month, a baby boy named Kyle, we already have 2 girls.
The thing thats bothering me is the fact that hardly anyone bought my baby anything, some people even came to visit without a card even, including my mum, and no one bought me anything at all, apart from my partner who got me a box of chocs but thats hardly thoughtful is it? All other people in the hospital were bought flowers, fruit baskets etc and I felt really feally upset to have not recieved anything at all, especially not even a bunch of flowers from my partner. He and others have usually bought me and my other children things when they were born.
The other thing is that my sister is law just had a baby too a few months ago, premeture, and everyone made sure they had the money to buy her and her baby something, they spent a fortune on her on flowers especially, including me and my partner, we bought her an expensive bunch and also the baby a biggish teddy. Wat u think?

Answer 1

You are not alone, this bothers me and i,m a guy!

Answer 2

I guess its the lack of thought you are upset about rather than the material presents?
I got a bunch of flowers from my dad on his way from the train station, my husband gave me a charles dickens book!!
I dont think i got anything for my 2nd, although my female friends were extremely supportive.My mum bought clothes for the baby.
The third my partner took my then 3yr old son out a few days later and they picked me a buckt full of flowers from the hedgerow. My mum bought clothes for the baby.
So I do unserstand how you feel, I am fortunate enough to have friends who supported me and give me a gift or acknowledge my role on the birthday of each of my children. That does mean a lot to me.

Answer 3

don't let people tell you are being selfish or anything. Yes be thankful you have a baby. It would bother me too but then I would think to my self I don't care about thoses gifts, I can take care of myself, they are not that imporatant. None of my family showed up for even my wedding I am over it now I can't change the past, for some it may be harder for others to in other words "get over it" but you will be fine trust me. I have a sister that got ichy with me because I said I was 3 months even though I am only 10 weeks pregnant. I didn't reply to her because I was trying to be sensitive to her because she can not have kids yet so far, she has been trying to conceive for the past year and some odd months. I just leave it alone because you now have a baby that needs your attention. that is just the little things in life that don't need your anger or resentment. Always rememeber too the famous saying "it is better to give than to receive"

Answer 4

I think you need to focus on the more important things in life.

You just gave birth to a beautiful perfect healthy baby. That in itself is the best gift you could get.

I think it's really silly to get upset over something like this, be happy with your bundle of joy.

Your sister in law had a near miss, not all premies make it, and alot of them have health issues their whole lives...Would you rather have gotten a truck load of superficial crap and had a premie and all the worry and stress that comes with it?? Or would you rather have a happy healthy baby and no pile of congratulatory cards?

A thankful heart is a happy heart and being glad for what you have is an easy way to start.

I think once the hormones clear...you'll see things differently.

You're over reacting to something that is very silly.

Focus on the reality of the fact that you've just been given the gift of a new child...nothing Hallmark or the gift shop has can match that.

Congratulations!

Answer 5

You have to understand that many people buy gifts for only the first baby, and then maybe send a card with the 2nd. Most do not recognize births with gifts after the first two....sorry, that 's just the way it is. You should focus more on the fact that you had a healthy baby rather than what gifts you got....

Answer 6

I dont think you are selfish or pathetic i would personally feel the same. Im pregnant with my 4th child and i recieved the same amount of gifts for my 1st 2nd and 3rd children and i would be upset if baby no4 didnt get the same - especially cards! It's not for reasons of personal gain but because i have memory boxes for my children and all the cards we were given, 1st teddy etc are all in there and i would hate for this baby to have an obviously lesser amount - can you imagine how they would feel???

Answer 7

Giving birth to a baby is hard work you keep the baby warm and protected for nine months you deserve a medal like all us women do, if your partner had a thought of what pain us women go through in labour he would think so too.

If no one had bought me anything after i gave birth to my son i would totally tell them what my opinion was of them, a babies life is worth celebrating and so is the fact that you got through it i would tell your partner how you feel.

Answer 8

There was a time when having babies was a big deal, because it is so much work to contribute a new member to society.

But these days, with environmental concerns and world overpopulation, people generally do less and less for each addition to any one family, even though the mother's workload grows so much more as the number of mouths to feed and people to care for grows.

Count yourself lucky for all the attention you have ever received, and realize that from the 3rd one on, it is your own satisfaction that you are fulfilling when you bring more children into the world.

Answer 9

You sound a bit selfish. I mean i know your hormones are all out of whack but be thankful that your baby is healthy. Isn't that a good enough gift for you? You were given a miracle and still you complain about not getting some flowers. THe love of you baby will last alot longer than stupid flowers.. I know those things are nice. but you probably got them with you first 2. Some people can't even have babies are you're worried about flowers and a teddy bear? I'm sure they would give you a million flowers and bears for a baby... JUst be thankful for what you have.

Answer 10

You shouldnt feel bad. You already had two girls and that alone it probably the most beautiful thing in the world. And now you can add a boy thats great. I dont think i would ever want anything for my kids births. Also you are comparing yourself to some woman, of course they would treat her differently. What else would you want. You have two girls and a boy, you have everything you need. You may feel unapreciated now but give it a couple months. That baby boy and youre other kids will give you what you are missing.

Answer 11

I see what your saying, could be just bad timing, not that you could help that, but you know that baby is gonna get so spoiled lol. Im sure no one realises you feel this way and more than likely dont mean anything by their absent mindedness. People have a tendency to get complacent with even the most beautiful things in life, not that they care any less, they just get use to having something you know? Try not to take it too personal, if it really bothers you find a way to talk about it with the ones you really care about.