I'm only in the 10th grade and me and my man were thinking about having a kid. He thinks I am too young for us to even be thinking about that but I feel so incomplete like I need one to love. Our situation isn't that good. We would be the only ones taking care of it... unless we go to live in his house where his cousins or my friendz over there would help take care of it but I don't want to go there cuz its like... i want us to start somewhere fresh just the two of us. Call me old fashioned but I think the love could hold us together.
2007-09-12 07:20:44 · 31 answers · asked by Nia GonzaLez 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Let me respond to some of these resoponses:
-Having kids DOES NOT solve relationship issues
Ok... did I say I have relationship issues? No... well I don't. My relationship is fine.
-baby will not have a good life if you only want it because you are feeling incomplete.
Thats not the only reason I want one. I want a child that I can raise and love and teach. A child that I can love so much it hurts.
-You aren't in a stable relationship. and you have no idea what it means to be a parent.
Excuse me... my relationship is very stable. And I gre up around a lot of kids. Nobody really knows what its like to be a parent until you become one.
- Date. Date that guy. Get your heart broken. Then date this guy. Break up. Fall in love. Repeat.
Ridiculous. I actually feel sorry for you.
- Trust me, when the going gets tough, he will be out of there in a flash!
You have some serious issues to make such a strong judgement.
Listen, I've thought this over people!
2007-09-12 09:11:52 · update #1
Ok. There are things you haven't mentioned. How long have you and your "man" been together? How long have you been thinking about this? Really. Also look back on your second line in this question... "He thinks I am too young for us to even be thinking about that...." If he is already telling you that he's not ready, it's not right. I'm sorry but the simple truth is if you "trick" him into impregnating you he will most likely leave you and possibly deny the child is even his. In that case I guess I'll see you on an episode of Maury since he's got plenty of business from crazy little girls like you thinking they're "grown up" enough to have a baby. Those are practically the only shows he does.
Look, you already are saying that your situation is not good. Where are you going to live? How are you going to pay for your basic needs? What about the baby's needs? I'm sure you don't have your own insurance from a nice full time steady job since you're still in HIGH SCHOOL!! I did but I am a responsible 25 yr old adult. Before insurance my doctor's bill was over $12,000 for the delivery of my daughter. Guess what, even with insurance I am still making payments on the balance 1 1/2 years later. Normal birth, no complications, in and out in about 30 hours. Plus, doctor appointments can be up to $150 a pop (or more) since you have to immunize your child. Formula is about $12.50 a can and a newborn can go through at least 3 cans a week. Lets see that's $150 a month. Diapers are about $9 for a 1-1 1/2 week supply. What about clothes? Where will your child sleep? Cribs are expensive. What about daycare? No, you cannot just expect your friends to babysit. They are as old as you are and should not be held responsible in any way, shape or form for your child. They have lives too. Besides what about school? Most employers will laugh at you if you don't at least have a High School Diploma, unless we're talking Mickey D's and they don't pay much nor do they have benefits.
Let me boil it down for you. Stop this crazy "I wanna baby" crap and just finish High School first. At least consider going to college to better yourself. Find yourself a good job that pays more than minimun wage. Get out on your own and experience the meaning of responsibility for a few years. (Meaning watching your paycheck float out the door to pay just your own rent, food, utilities, etc.) If you and your Boyfriend are meant to be you will still be together in a few years. If you need a reality check find out if your high school has a Parenting class. Mine did. You get to take home a wonderful mechanical baby who will emulate a real baby. Crying at all hours of the night, will need to be fed and changed and will have a microchip in it (unlike real babies) to tell the teacher if you've done a good job or if you got fed up and removed the batteries, left it alone for endless hours, or threw it up against a wall. If after all the sleepless nights and "Can't find a babysitter's" you still want a baby then buy your own mechanical baby, but please for all that is holy DO NOT consider yourself a likely candidate for motherhood at this age!!!!
I'm sorry if you think I'm being harsh but you are just a kid YES A KID and you have no idea how real this really is. Don't be stupid. Smarten up. Apply your energy towards something positive like schoolwork. An education is imperative to a brighter future.
2007-09-12 18:17:10 · answer #1 · answered by cclouthier_2000 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well you are still in school. You would have to say goodbye to any education until the baby is old enough. Having a baby is stressful on a relationship and can lead to breakups. As for the living situation you have to think of the baby's life first. Is it a safe environment? Are the people doing drugs? Will there be parties all the time? These are all things you need to consider. I really think that it would be wise to not have a baby this young. You have your whole life ahead of you. I would at least graduate high school. Its not that long and you will be better off. I would also recommend having your own place to live and being married. Love is strong but there are other factors as well. Like money and a place to stay. I think that you should really really wait. I think that if you were in a better position that you would enjoy the baby much more and be happier.
2007-09-12 07:34:27 · answer #2 · answered by Jessica M 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Having a child is not the answer to keep the two of you together. You only complicating the problem with a child especially at your age (you didn't say how old he is, but I’m guessing he is the same?). You are still trying to figure out what you want to do with your life. Yes, you can have a child and still go to school, but you will have no life with just yourself. Think of money, insurance, things like that. It is ok to be thinking about having a child, but wait until you are on your feet finically first. Plus, you said your friends help "raising" the baby? You are only asking for problems. Take care of the problem between you and your boyfriend first, and if you are truely old fashion, then get married first.
2007-09-12 11:23:19 · answer #3 · answered by jbone 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now, what do you think? Really. You said it all, when you said, "I feel so incomplete like I need one to love." Honey, a child will not complete that. Yes, you love your child, and he loves you back, but it's more about responsibility than anything. The number one thing it takes to raise a child is SELFLESSNESS - so, don't you think it's weird that you're describing wanting a child for your own gratification bc you're lonely?? It will make things harder in the long run.
Enjoy your childhood (that's right, CHILDhood), and get a hobby. Quit worrying about having sex, and making babies, in the 10th grade, and get involved in your community/school/church/politics, etc.... learn about how the other people in the world live, and broaden your horizons. You might be surprised.
If you have sex, USE PROTECTION!!!!!!
Edit: OKAY THEN: If you've thought it over in your immature 15-year old mind, then do it. (OH yeah, I said immature: you'll know what I mean in about 10 years). We're certianly not going to stop you. And by the way, if you don't want people's opinions, don't post on Ya! Answers!!!!
2007-09-12 07:42:22 · answer #4 · answered by Impavidsoul 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are way too young. I just turned 20 last month and am 30 weeks pregnant with my first child. My husband and I both have good jobs and are getting ready to move into a house and we are STILL concerned about money and if we are going to have enough to get by as I will be quiting work to be home with the baby. Not only do you need to think about the economics of your situation, but also the complications that can come along with teenage pregnancy. Until you are 18 they consider you at a higher risk for delivering preterm. School is another thing that you have to consider. You need to get a diploma to get anywhere in todays world. Please stay in school, get married after school, then have children.
2007-09-12 07:46:19 · answer #5 · answered by schs_spartan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are so lost here. If you bring a baby into the world and you don't know how you will take care of it, you are being selfish. I understand why you want one. You need to look for love in another way. Love is most of it, but its still not enough. Finish school, get a job, save some money up, find yourself and true love, then have at it. There are too many little babies in this world who have to go without because their parents didn't have stability beforehand. Think about it. It's a very selfish thing to do.
2007-09-12 07:28:30 · answer #6 · answered by ϑennaß 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
If you were old fashioned you wouldn't be thinking of having a baby when you were in the 10th grade and not married and not able to take care of the child. Finish school, then if you and your man are still together get married and when you have a place to live and can take care of the child, have a baby. You will only be doing the baby a disservice if you have one now.
2007-09-12 07:57:19 · answer #7 · answered by kat 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I been with my boyfriend since I was 12 yrs old. 7th grade and we did not have a kid till we were together for 5 yrs and I was graduated from High school and in my first semester of college and it still was a surprise. 10th grade man... In 10th grade I was still going to prom and homecoming and football games and the movies. I wasn't thinking about having to provide for another life and I don't think my mom would of liked the fact that I would of been pregnant in her house when she was paying all the bills and taking care of me.
Be a kid and have fun because if you ever watch maury once you get pregnant they always say "I aint the daddy, or I am to young to be a father" I got lucky because I am still with him but I am tellin ya no matter if you together 1 wk or 30 yrs they can leave at any time. Kids don't keep a man or a woman. always remember that.
2007-09-12 07:36:26 · answer #8 · answered by Jesmo 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
DON'T DO IT!
you are way way too young to even be thinking about this, your bf is right. If you do you might regret your decision later. Be young while you can! Make the situation better for yourself before you bring an Innocent life into it.
Do you even have a job to pay for baby supplies? Are you going to drop out to take care of the baby? If not how will you pay for a sitter? And these friends that you are talking about won't be around when you need them. You need to learn how to care for yourself before you even consider this. At least wait until you are old enough to buy cigarettes!
2007-09-12 07:29:21 · answer #9 · answered by ash 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you serious? Your a kid yourself and no way should bring another human being into this world, you simply cannot provide what a child needs, you have no clue. Your not even finished with school. How are you going to provide? And you honestly think the father will be around for long? Trust me, when the going gets tough, he will be out of there in a flash!
2007-09-12 07:28:48 · answer #10 · answered by babidollishere 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋