I'm turning 17 in a couple weeks and im a boy who comes from an indian family. i haven't seen my dad in about 10 years since he abandoned us, but my mom remarried so I have a stepdad. my mom is always like "you have to get a phd or at least a masters degree if you want to get anywhere in life!". and my stepdad isnt any better. since its an indian family, I just HAVE to be a doctor or an engineer or sum fat basterd who stands behind a counter and says thank you come again.
My stepdad doesnt even care for me. he refuses to call me his son because I'm not "his blood". yet when I told him that I wanna study criminal justice and become a state trooper and that I wanna join the marine corps reserves, he went crazy and he's like "OH NO NO NO YOU WONT MAKE ANY MONEY THAT WAY! Y DONT U JUST BECOME AN ENGINEER LIKE ME!?" then he sed "and why on earth do you want to join the marines? if you're going to defend a country, go defend india!"
First, I'm american. second, i dont care about india
2007-09-12 06:42:04 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No offense, but I just cant stand indian people. even though I'm indian descent, I hate just about everything about them. education is EVERYTHING and happiness is nothing. my stepdad and mom keep tryin 2 set me up with ugly indian girls just because "they have good values". i dont even know wtf that means. and they're so racist too. everytime a black person walks by the car at a stoplite, they lock the door. even when they saw my girlfriend, who's white/korean, they went crazy and started screamin "WHY CAN U JUST GO OUT WITH ONE OF THE INDIAN GIRLS WE FOUND FOR YOU!? WHATS WRONG WITH THEM? WHATS WRONG WITH YOU!?" worst thing is they screamed all this while my girlfriend was still there. then they said "i dont want any slanty eyed grandchildren!" and that sent my girlfriend home cryin. I just can't stand them anymore. I stayed up all nite with my gf just to try and make her feel better.
2007-09-12 06:46:59 · update #1
and wut i cant stand is when my stepdad told me to go defend india, i remembered that he told me that he fled 2 america 2 dodge the army draft! WTF!? but I mean even if you have a bachelor's degree, you can still get a great job. you don't HAVE to have anything higher....
2007-09-12 06:51:04 · update #2
my mom actually said she'll cut me off if I dont major in premed or engineering. and what about when I join the marines? at graduation, ill be the only marine with no family there to cheer.....
2007-09-12 06:53:15 · update #3
how am I gonna go to college?
2007-09-12 06:56:51 · update #4
uh no madhavan n. this is america. i can do wutever I want
2007-09-12 07:00:58 · update #5
Some people come to america for money mostly money. They don't change the values that they were raised by. It is really frustrating when parents can't seem to get around the fact each place has its own agenda. Your mom will never change even if you explained to her that when any human being bleeds its red or that in every culture men walk out on their families. What you can do is have an adult conversation with your mom and if she disagrees then at least you know where the other person stands. They will be angry now but will come around to your choices later including your gf. Even if they dont you cant live by their ideals. I will tell you this tho when you are single you only think about fun times, sex and sex but when you have kids and money is tight or you cant be free in your life choices then you think about well if I went to school for this I might not be poor or unhappy today. I think you are on the right track a BA can bring you money and happiness you dont have to have a MA or PHD. Not alot of teenagers know what they want to do with the rest of their lives so the fact that you have set goals for yourself and it isnt harming you I think you should go for it. As for no visiting families for when you are a marine, you seem like a nice person I am sure someone will want to be in your life and visit you.
Good luck
P.S.
I wouldn't mind adopting you as my little brother.
2007-09-12 07:09:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're kidding. Asian parents are obsessed with education because they're usually first generation. And the statistics show why Asians have the highest percentiles, just as why there are so many Asians who are depressed. So what? You might get a good job with tons of money, but you still aren't happy and healthy in your mind and body. That is the failure and the tragedy. All academics, no social experiences. All they expect their kids is to go to school everyday and do homework and study, read until bedtime(I would know firsthand, don't see me as racist or stereotypical)
First generations of people of any race from a foreign country find it harder to adapt to American life and culture. All they want is for their kids to be better than them, but they're taking it the wrong way. Yes, education is very important to success, but it's not everything. And it's not like they didn't have Ds and Fs when they were kids unless they had Honor titles and were Valedictorians who went to Ivy League.
Of course, I could be completely wrong and it might just be all about respect, tradition, and honor to the family. Maybe back in the villages the family with the smartest and most revering child has the highest status or something...
There's already enough stress and unjust in the world, your children need all the support and ally they can get. If even parents aren't on their side, who is?
be proud of your children for who they are, NOT what they can do or what a piece of paper says about them. Are you proud of your child for their sense of humor, beauty(that could be a bonus), talents, intelligience, personality, or are you proud of a report card which is nothing but a piece of paper? Doesn't make sense. They get As and Bs, excellent. They struggle, no big deal. Just tell them to try their best and say you understand how hard it can get yourself. There'll always be second chances and you're there to help if and when they need it. Being a hypocrite or expect someone to do under unreasonable circumstances what you can't do yourself is just...bad. Bad parenting and upbringing. Your children might just hate you(case in point).
As for the arranged marraige thing. When you're 18, your parents can't make you do anything they want you to do. You're your own man. And I think 18 is around the age where you legally marry in most states, though some states it may be 16 or lower with parental consent. Remind your parents you aren't Indian. You're Indian-AMERICAN. You've saluted the flag throughout your life growing up here everyday.
Oh, and the thing with Marines and defending a country and everything. If there's a war, people's loyalties usually lie with the country they're living in. You wouldn't want your home(your CURRENT home, not your country of origin) to be invaded and bombed and your fellow countrymen to suffer do you?
2007-09-12 08:29:04 · answer #2 · answered by jm7 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well education does make life richer in many ways but it sounds like you have a plan and the Marines are a super way to learn things. I say HE should go defend India. People like he are going to be the downfall of this country since their allegiance is not to the US but rather the country from which they originated. Israeli, Armenian and Cuban Americans are an example of that.
So you have one more year until you are 18 at which time I believe you are legally an adult. I hope you can survive them. Your mother is right and she only wants the best for you but I know you will do fine. I really think all the Indians I know are above average intelligence.
2007-09-12 06:48:29 · answer #3 · answered by barthebear 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here is how I see it. You will be an 18 year old man soon. If you want the freedom to chose your own path, then you are going to have to be brave and just do it, but be willing to give up whatever monetary support that your family might have offered. Tell them that you appreciate their wisdom and advice on the matter of your education, but that you have no calling to take that route. Plenty of people have a decent life working for the government. You don't have to be nasty, yell, or throw a fit, just stay calm and politely explain yourself. Good Luck!
2007-09-12 06:47:12 · answer #4 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is your life, and you should do what you
want with it and choose a career that will
reward you.
That said, life is a whole lot more rewarding
with money than without it. The romance of
a law enforcement or military life can evaporate
pretty darn quick.
Your parents DO know what they're talking
about and realistically, you will only get one
chance at higher education.
2007-09-12 10:08:10 · answer #5 · answered by Irv S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your parents want you to have money. Without money life is full of difficult decisions. Someone once said that "money is not everything but it ranks right up there with oxygen." This really hits home when your parents no longer support you and you have to make it on your own. But I also know how tough it can be to make adult decisions as a teenager. The more you trust your parents the happier in life you will be. It is totally worth it.
2007-09-12 06:54:20 · answer #6 · answered by Nikolas M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...sorry but he's sort of right. Education and money do make for the basics of a happy life....couldn't you be a lawyer or something else to do with the law?
2007-09-12 06:47:41 · answer #7 · answered by Daisyhill 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Happiness comes from within, dude. WITHIN. I'm happy whem I'm outside walking, reading novels, tending to my roses, etc, etc, etc. Life isn't all bad, it's not all good. Bad stuff happens, of course. But there's lots of good stuff in life, too. And sex and love is not all what motivates us. We help people, not for us, but for them. Just about everyday you hear of someone rescued, from somewhere, people helping someone to live. Plus thousands of people every day do volunteer work to help their communities, children, young people and older people. Looks have nothing to do with success, with love. NOTHING. Have you ever seen Bill Gates? Founded the computer company, Microsoft, that made him billions of dollars, has a wife and children. Bill Clinton when he was younger was UGLY. He was POTUS!! Many rock singers are not attractive and are millionaires. So what has looks got to do with smarts, with talent, with fame and fortune? NOTHING. People who are depressed, feeling hopeless, often see things only negatively. That's you, dude.
2016-03-18 04:40:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is so wrong with getting a good education, American kids have so much they can get when it comes to education and they take it for granted, it's good that your parents are pushing you to get a good education, that way you won't turn out to be a bum.
2007-09-12 06:47:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
knowledge is power.though you are of indian origin i feel your life style is western.in india a person's life stages are divided in to four and each stage a person has to do assigned duties.such as in childhood (play).second teenage(education),third adult(family build up )and fourth old age to attain spirituality and advice experiences to others.so dear friend you are in your teen age and it is your responsibility to aquire knowledgea at this period.first study a topic which makes you happy and then decide your destiny,goodluck
2007-09-12 06:58:38 · answer #10 · answered by madhavan n 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋