Dear Dogs and Cats,
When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help, because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this.
Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort.
Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping; they can actually curl up in a ball.
It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.
My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for years, canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, and then go smell the other dogs' butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.
To pacify you I have posted the following message on our front door...
Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
2007-09-12 06:19:30 · 19 answers · asked by "!" 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Simply loved it.
A star and 10/10
How true this is
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
2007-09-12 15:26:46 · answer #1 · answered by PC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely brilliant and so true. I have 2 cats and 1 dog and I have actually said these things to them. As for the message to non pet owners spot on.
2007-09-12 07:59:45 · answer #2 · answered by Bezza 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no im not an animal person. i dont have animals because i dont know how to take care of them well because im tooo busy in school and im scared they are gonna die. and you should not have a pet that needs a cage, because its Allah's creation, and it should be free. i had fishies before, but they are so hard to take care of. maybe because the tank was bigger than i could handle, and i hated cleaning the bowl. im okay with having fishes than to a hamster, because hamsters have to be caged up and fishes will die with out one. i hate snakes. i have snake/spider phobia EDIT: LOL.... "the most deadliest animal is a squirrel"... i remember one ran into my house a couple years ago at night, it was Eid, but since there was sooooo many people at my house, it got scared and ran away i am a big fan of kittens, and cats. no doggies. im am a fan of the cat family: tigers, lions, panthers, leopards, etc... but i wont have them as pets because ill turn end up being dinner
2016-04-04 17:13:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have seen this before and I love it. It is so true. Give them an inch and they take the whole bed. I have 2 pillows, one for my cat to lay on so I can have a pillow because she will take the whole thing.
2007-09-12 07:24:00 · answer #4 · answered by Unsub29 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I LOVE THIS! Thank you so much for sharing. Pet owners are so much better human beings than, well....YOU know.
2007-09-12 07:32:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simply fantastic!
2007-09-12 06:39:45 · answer #6 · answered by . 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hahahhahahaaa, loved that one, but i love my little dog too,
2007-09-12 12:50:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha ha ha.!!!
Excellent joke there Bibby.!!!
10/10.!!!
I agree with your joke thou, if they cannot stand animal hair then don't come inside my house.!!!
Cheers.!!!
2007-09-12 06:30:37 · answer #8 · answered by JAM123 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love it, have a star!
2007-09-12 06:27:15 · answer #9 · answered by RM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Brilliant and well said hun!!!
I love my pet too .... lol
2007-09-12 09:28:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋