I'm an only child and my parents are so strict. My father's Japanese and my mom's a Filipino. I'm 21 years old, and they don't allow me to go out late at night, drink (not that I want to anyway), or even date and have a boyfriend. I want to be able to travel around without having to ask permission from them, but the thing is, they just don't understand. Our age gaps are also huge. My dad's 73 and my mom's 60. My mother keeps telling me that I'll gain full independence when I'm 28, and that's also the age where I can pick whomever I choose to marry. Sometimes it's getting out of hand, and right now I have a boyfriend who I keep from my parents, because they would never understand.
2007-09-12 06:01:06 · 26 answers · asked by Yuki 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
well sorry to hear about your predicament, im greek and i have quite strict parents to. I know how it feels when you feel like your being controlled, my sister gets it alot more because shes the girl. Although your parents treat you like this because they care about you always remember that some rules are meant to be broken. Its all part of growing up. By the time you are 28 you will be well into your adulthood so just enjoy your life. What they don't know sometimes cant hurt them. As long as your being sensible and stick to your own morales. Hope my advice helps x
2007-09-12 06:10:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your mother is off by 10 years, It is acctually full independance at 18 years old not 28, well It sounds like you still live with them I am guessing. Which means they probably provide everything for you? My onld advice is that you move out and become independant. It will be hard at first, but you are wating your life away if you won't be able to start it till you're 28! If this isn't an option, then you migth just have to deal with their strict rules, as they have control over you as long as you live in their house. I am so sorry : (
2007-09-12 06:07:22 · answer #2 · answered by bluemoon 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I realize you are from a different culture than I am, so I hope that I don't offend you. At 21, you are an adult and responsible for your actions and your life. While still being respectful to your parents, who love you very much, you must stand up for yourself and help your parents to sever the apron strings and let you fly solo.
Do you work? If you have your own job & money, I would suggest getting a small apartment of your own. On a bus route to your job if you don't have your own car. And still stop by once a week for dinner with your parents. And call them once or twice a week too!
2007-09-12 06:06:04 · answer #3 · answered by kja63 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your parents ar propably just being over protective! A lot of parents are over protective (including mine) but perhas its best if you talk to them about howyou feel and get them to loosen the reins a little bit i mean you are 21! Your an adult and should be alowed to make your own mistakes! Maybe because you live with them (im guessing) they still treat you like your a child! Maybe you could consider moving out in the neer future! and as for your boyfriend, you should totally tell your parents about him, they obvisouly care about you and will exept him because they know that you do! As For the marridge thing,you should be allowed to pick your own husband but im unwareif this has something to do with your parents culture. Just sit them down and talk to them in a calm envroment! They'll prob be surprised but they will let you have independance!!!
I Hope this helps You With Your Decision!xox
2007-09-12 06:08:40 · answer #4 · answered by ExpressYOURSELF! :) 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are 21??? It's your life now. I know you want to respect them but, they are not respecting you as an adult. You need to start working on your independence yourself. I take it you still live at home?? Well, start working a job where you can move out on your own and make your own decisions. What your parents are asking is ridiculous!!!! Full independence when your are 28??? You need to cut the apron strings since they will not.
2007-09-12 06:08:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do they know that you will gain full independence when your 28? They sound traditional. If you are in school, then stick it out cause they may be doing it for your best interest. If your not, get a good job and get out of there. As long as you keep bumping heads with them, your relationship with them may get worse.
2007-09-12 06:09:36 · answer #6 · answered by solelone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as I am concerned (& probably the entire rest of the world) you are old enough to make your own life.
Your story as told by you leads me to believe that you are not living independantly from your parents.
I suggest that you take whatever steps are necessary to lead your own life if you are certain that you are ready to emotionally.
Obviously your parents are NEVER going to be ready for their little girl to grow up, & you won't unless you learn to declare your own independance. The only way that your parents will be able to accept the fact that you want to grow up, is by you DOING IT, not just by saying it.
2007-09-12 06:11:46 · answer #7 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to tell ya this, but it's time for you to leave for college. Thats the way i escaped. Either that or move out and get a job, when you live a couple states away it's really easy to hang up the phone.
2007-09-12 06:13:11 · answer #8 · answered by justkiddingu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well they're afraid of losing you & since your an only child it makes it worst
i say wait until your a bit older,
my parents are very strict to but i'm not an only child & i don't mind them being strict coz i know they love me alot that why they care so much
oh i'm 21 also
2007-09-12 06:09:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well my parents are just like that only they wont give me permission to do anyhting even when i ask i may not be 21 but i know what you mean. some parents dont want to let go but really it just makes things easier so they should really just do it
2007-09-12 06:05:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋