I have been wth my boyfriend for 5 years now, and we are very happy and scared at the same time. The problem is I live with my parents. We have been planning to get our own place for about a year now and a few months ago bought a peice of land, we have been looking around for a mobile home to put on this land, but really don't have the money for one at this time. Well I am going to college full time, and working 30 hours a week. My parents have made it very clear how mad they would be if I were to get pregnant and I am very scared to tell them. Any advice....
Please note my mother is kinda crazy. awhile back my 24 year old brother got his gf preg and he told my mom, she FREAKED out I mean freaked. He was soon to graduate college at the time, and I just didn't understand why she got so angry. That's why I am even more scared!
Do you think 20 is too young to have a baby? I will be 21 when the baby come in may, 2008
2007-09-12 04:58:06 · 18 answers · asked by bluemoon 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My boyfriend is very happy about this. I am very happy and scared at the same time! I love chilren so much I really want like 3 or 4 of them, Its just the timing, I wanted to finish school, but I know this won't stop me from going to school, i know it will be so hard, but I am willing to make sacrifices for a child of mine.
2007-09-12 05:03:48 · update #1
sorry I had to add one more thing, jazzy l was right on trget when he said did she get married young and feel like she missed out? I didn't even think of that!! She got married at 20 and is constantly telling me that she has so many regrets, she is always telling me she doesn't want me to regret anything! But I don't I have been so beyond happy, I even think she might be jelous of how happy I am. I just feel for my dad, cuz he has no idea she has all these regrets. She has made my life so hard at times, but that's a different issue. I just thought I would add that details about jazzy l being right, I wanted to tell him through e-mail but he doesn't allow to be contacted.
2007-09-12 05:09:17 · update #2
♥ Sounds like you have alot of thinking to do. Maybe selling that peice of land and moving into your own apartment would be the best idea for you. That way your parents cannot interfer with your decision. Think about if you & your bf are financially, emotionally & physically stable to handle a child. If you feel you need to talk to a professional try Planned Parenthood. Good Luck!
PS~ No you are not too young!
2007-09-12 05:04:22 · answer #1 · answered by NCIS ♥ Addict 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First of all, don't panic.
21 is not too young. You are in a pinch here! I don't know the specifics of your situation, but remember that you are 20, and you are your own person. The best thing to do is find any way you can to get out of your parents house. They have a kind of "control" over you when you live there, even if you do whatever you want. If you have somewhere else to live, I would suggest that. Then no matter what happens, you are still your own person, and approve or dis-approve, you mom can't really control you. The second step is to buckle down, and make the push to get some money for that trailer. Maybe try to get some overtime. Keep your head up, be confident, and remember it is an event to celebrate.
2007-09-12 05:07:34 · answer #2 · answered by Free Range Chicken 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honestly, I don't think that having a baby at twenty is too young, but you still have a long life ahead of you. I understand that the two of you have purchased a piece of land, but instead, continue to save money until you're ready to leave. You do need to tell your parents about your pregnancy, because you can't keep this a secret forever and its up to you to tell them first before they find out the hard way. I do applaud you for working forty hours a week and attending college as a full-time student. I don't see a lot of pregnant women who do that. Continue to keep going and don't stop! Also, stay positive, because you and your baby deserve to have a better future with excellent results! I'm thrilled at the fact that your boyfriend is willing to step up to the plate and take care of his responsibilities. Good luck to you and I wish you the best!
2007-09-12 06:09:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was 19 when I had my oldest daughter, my mom isnt kinda crazy she is crazy, although I was out of High School and was in College I was afraid as well to tell her me being the only girl and the baby .. but I did it, I told my mom I was pregnant and was going to have my baby, my mom unlike most moms didnt help me when she was born , I am so happy she did that because I depended on myself noone else to take care of her , I was in College full time , and working , having a child makes you grow up real fast..
I wish you all the best in the world with this.. children are a true blessing!!!
Continue going to College no matter how hard it may seem.
ANG Soldier &Armywife over 10 yrs growing mother of 3
2007-09-12 05:12:43 · answer #4 · answered by Justice35 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mother seems to have forgotten she was young once, too and that people have sex! If she freaks out, let her... just take a deep breath and let her act like a total idiot, then move on!!!
Don't let your mother scare you. I'm 50 years old and i'm here to tell you, some people NEVER grow up.. and we feel the same inside at 50 as we did at 20. Your mother isn't scary, she seems more irrational than anything else. Maybe that's why she got so angry at your brother? She lacks coping skills and clear thinking?
You are an ADULT ... you seem to have ambition, seeing how you are in school and working all at the same time. I hope you and your boyfrend can find a place together and have a nice life.
hugs
2007-09-12 05:09:36 · answer #5 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is only my opinion--
#1-The thing with the mom, Look you are her daughter, yeah, she might freak out, but your her daughter, and your having her grandchild. She will have to get over it eventually! It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders anyways...Your 20, with a job, and going to school. Its a lot more that a lot of 20 year olders can say.
#2- I think that as long as you want this baby, then its a good thing. Your not under age, and you sound like your responsible! A lot is going to change once this baby come into your life, and as long as you are willing to change, so that your baby has a great life, than 20 isn't to young to have a baby!
I wish you luck! I hope that everything turns out great!
2007-09-12 05:05:51 · answer #6 · answered by Sam 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok first off 20 is not too young. I was 16 when i got pregnant. It was the best thing that ever could have happened. It also brought me and my mom closer. But it seems like your mom is too stubborn. Well you're going to have to tell her at some point. Just be prepared for it. Plan to do it somewhere public where she can't make a big scene and scream at you. Bring some support system with you. Like your boyfriend or someone else you trust a lot. Maybe your brother.
2007-09-12 07:03:33 · answer #7 · answered by loving life!!!!! 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it is you're life. just do whats best for the baby. if you don't think that you can provide the baby with agood life give him/ her up for adoption. if you know that you will be a great mother than tell you're mom that you are not a child and it is you're life she needs to stop living through her children's life and focus on her on tell her to get a hobby or something.
i had my baby at 18 and it was hard at first because we didn't have alot but 4 years later and we have a House and everything is great. if you cant buy a place right now just rent a small studio apartment it will be big enough for you two and the new baby. and you can get away from you're CRAZY mom!
good luck and congrats!
2007-09-12 05:05:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all, 20 years old is not to young to have a baby if you feel you can handle it. 17 years old is too young to have a baby.
As for your mother, you described her as scary. But she can't have been that scary since you don't seem to have learned from your brother's mistakes. My advice: if you're having this baby you need to plan on moving out fairly soon. You should never plan on a baby unless you're financially stable...and you should never have sex unless you can handle the reality that you could still get pregnant and have a baby, protection or not. But it's too late for that now. But kudos on being willing to make sacrifices. Good luck. God bless.
2007-09-12 05:10:51 · answer #9 · answered by wizball 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It really has nothing to do with your parents now you've made adult decisions and you need to take responsibility for those decisions.I was pregnant at 15, and i have strict Portuguese parents,I'm 22 now and my boyfriend and i have been together for almost 9 years and our son is going to be 6 in January. Hes the best thing that ever happened to us, its not easy, but we did it. We both work full time and go to school, its possible and hopefully when you mother holds her grandchild everything negative melts away.You'll be ok, Good Luck
2007-09-12 13:16:26 · answer #10 · answered by blonderedsoxgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋