Hi My mother in law is a very nice woman. Shes kind, giving and most of the time really sweet. My problem is religion. My husband grew up in a baptist home, went to church two to three times a week, read from the bible almost every night as a family. Me on the other hand grew up more new age I guess. We read tarot cards, learned to meditate, learned to follow our own path, spent a lot of time outside exploring nature. I'm not a Christian, my husband knows this, he doesn't consider himself a Christian anymore. Life if fine and dandy, except his mother won't lay off. We have a six year old son and she keeps pestering us to have him go to church. I try to be nice and say "no thank you" but she won't stop. Its always something, the lord should be in his life, he needs church, why can't he come to bible school. She sneaks bible stories in our truck when we aren't looking, I give them back. My husband tells her to cut it out. I just don't know what else to do.
2007-09-12 04:56:22 · 19 answers · asked by Jesse 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Haha, that's kind of funny. Just tell her you're going to let him decide for himself when he's old enough. She is not trying to harm him, just doing something she feels is for his own good as a caring grandmother.
2007-09-12 05:00:01 · answer #1 · answered by Yogi 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
In-laws always comes between the marriage life..specialy the mother,it's hard sometimes to get along with the in-laws but when you get in through each weakness there will be harmony. Why don't you talk it with your husband and probably talk with your mother-in-law that you have respected her as the mother to your husband and considering her your mother too. Have a heart to heart talk with her. Sometimes mother-in-laws been jealous specialy if your husband is the only son/child. Take consideration too that it often been the way of the in-laws and not just the mother. Try to win her affection, she might be needing your affection/attention after all some olds need that to feel their means. In that case you may also be more closer to her than her son. Good luck.
2016-05-17 22:03:13 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you feel. I do not go to church, but my daughter's father (ex) is christian and is very into the church that he goes to. He started taking our daughter when she was about 3 years old. I was totally against this at first seeing as I am not religious....But I figured if it was something that he wanted to do with her, that it was ok.
My daughter loves going now (she is 7). She loves to sing in the kids choir and has a lot of fun in bible school. If your mother in law wants to take your son, I don't really see the harm in it. She isnt forcing you to go. Your son will either like it, or he wont want to go. But I would let it be his decision. If my daughter told me tomorrow that she never wanted to go to church again, then that would be a decision she made on her own and not one that I made for her.
2007-09-12 05:08:14 · answer #3 · answered by Heather B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the three of you need to have a heart to heart--you, your husband and his mother. Or maybe he should sit down with her on their own and explain that while he appreciates his upbringing, the church is not something that you and he want for your child and to please respect that. You and he should be frank and tell her that her actions, though well meaning, are hurting you and that you don't want anything to come between your relationship with her because you all love her. Hopefully she will respect your choice if it's all layed out. She won't like it and will probably keep pushing it. But if you say it's hurting the relationship and makes you uncomfortable, maybe that will get through to her.
It's a tough thing. Good luck.
2007-09-12 05:03:34 · answer #4 · answered by BellasMom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hum...seems to be this is something you should have considered before marriage, I know I would have. Do you think it's harmful for your mom to take your child to church? Why not allow your son to have that special bonding time with gramma, whats the harm? If you don't want to go ok, why take that away from what can be a very special relationship between mom in law and child....look a the bigger picture and weigh your options. Which is the greater good?
2007-09-12 05:13:34 · answer #5 · answered by Poptart 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i understand this and i guess this is it. shes christian and you all aren't shes worried about how she was brought up and his soul. its sad but there are some of us that can't see farther then we can throw and that is her problem. shes doing only what she is feeling is best for her grandson. don't begrude her this. let her give him books read to him now and then. he can have the best of both worlds and when hes older he can pick or can he not? you see this is where i believe they can be brought up something and if they so desire to change that is their thing to do not us. this is a big decision when he becoems 18. there should be nothing to fight about and dont' be ugly this is hers only and shes not being mean and her son above all should realize this. just be kind and move on to antoher level
2007-09-15 13:09:38 · answer #6 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO you have a problem with him learning about God? If not maybe you should allow her to take him to church with her and that way she will be bonding with her grandchild and you'll get a little break to be alone or go out with your husband. It sounds like she really loves her grandson and wants to spend time with him and teach him some of the things that she values as well.
2007-09-12 05:03:07 · answer #7 · answered by TM25 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
tell your MIL you appreciate her comments but you decided to raise your child differently and that you appreciate if that's the end of this story. If you don't believe in God there's no reason on telling your child there's a God, he will see your being a hypocrate about it. I'm a catholic but also think everyone has the right to believe in whatever they want, so tell her to stop it. It's gotta be very annoying. Best of luck.
2007-09-12 06:45:01 · answer #8 · answered by Baby Ruth habla español 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is just mother in laws, mine is the same way only its not religion, it vegetables and I am not kidding she will NOT lay off my kids or us about it. I let my kids drink V-8 instead of eating them except corn, not great I know but I have spoke with my doctor on it and they are slowly trying more but I will not tell her that. LOL
She has even told them if you eat your vegetables I will take you out for ice cream every night. Now doesnt that defeat the purpose somewhat, I told her they do not get ice cream every night.
Anyway my point is they are good grandparents and just dont know when to stop, I would just keep saying what you do until she listens.
My father in law thinks my kids should walk to his house that is his beef with me and they live about 20 minutes walking distance, they are 6 and 8 and it is not 1950.
They drive me crazy, but they are wonderful to my kids and that is important to me.
I was raised Baptist like your husband and do not choose that either, I have explained creation theories to my kids and told them what I believe and they can believe what they want, it does not mean I have not taught them to be good, kind people just certainly not Baptist.
It is funny you say your way of life, my oldest sister is like that now and it drives my dad nuts, he does not go to church anymore but will not let her bring her Tarot cards in his house, it is so funny. My life experience from Baptist especially ones that are older and still active is they will never change, she truly believes he has to have God in his life to go to Heaven which is nuts, God is not a mean God, I believe if you are a good person and try to be kind to others you go to Heaven or what ever you want to call it.
They just cannot figure out they are our kids not theirs, I always want my husband to be firm about it, sure he says leave them alone, but if it were my parents butting in like that I would flat out tell them stop it every time until they did. A lot of men will just not stand up to their mothers, I do not know why.
2007-09-12 05:12:00 · answer #9 · answered by Miss Coffee 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If your that adamant about him not going to church, not even with her....then stand your ground and be firm. Tell her straight out to not bring it up again. I would probably let her take him and see if he likes it. He can make his own decision. He may like it and it's a nice way for him to bond with granny.
2007-09-12 05:06:53 · answer #10 · answered by mrsdeli 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋