He lives about 4 hours away. Also her mother lives further away than that. Do I need to ask her also, her parents are divorced.
2007-09-12 04:54:14 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I would ask whoever she's closest to, just to be on the safe side. Do you think that matters to her family? That kind of tradition might not matter to some families. I think that you guys should probably plan a trip out there or something. The holidays are coming up and that's a great time to broach the subject.
2007-09-12 05:01:06 · answer #1 · answered by Not quite perfect 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't necessarily have to ask for her hand in marriage in the first place, especially not these days. However, it would go a long way in showing both respect to her parents and in turn endear yourself further to the young lady. Every woman wants a man who isn't afraid to go into situations like that or ultimately do anything to make things better and easier for her and your future family. It is an ostensibly desirable trait, one which you would exhibit prevalently if you choose to embark on that journey.
That said, you also need to know what you are dealing with. Are her parents jerks? Are they going to attack you? Can you handle it? Do you have the answers they want to hear? Without knowing the full spectrum of the situation it is hard to say. From what your girl has told you if they sound reasonable it is certain you should make the trek, that isn't very far anyway and it will make an everlasting impression on your lady.
2007-09-12 05:07:36 · answer #2 · answered by Matt H 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
These days, it's not required to "ask for a girl's hand" but considering that these people are going to be your future family, it's a good idea to meet them first. Some people are more traditional and may feel slighted if you don't do a more traditional gesture. This might cause bad feelings between you and your future-in-laws, possibly for the rest of your life. I recommend that you tread lightly. Ask your girlfriend what she recommends, because she knows her parents better than you. You might also want to call them and talk to them on the phone.
2007-09-14 06:47:33 · answer #3 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you "need" to? No, I don't think you "need" to. Marriage is a big decision and clearly the two of you are going to make it yourselves, regardless of anyone elses blessing(s). After all, you two will be the only ones actually in the marriage.
However, asking for her hand IS both chock full of respect and romance --not to mention an action both she and her family will not soon forget. Especially at this point in your lives, why skimp on an opportunity to make a great romantic gesture?
2007-09-12 05:09:20 · answer #4 · answered by honeykbee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, kudos to you for asking for her hand!
Now, to answer your question. The way I look at it, what's four hours for the love of your life? Be sneaky and get her father's number, call him up and ask if he'll meet you for lunch/dinner in his area as you'll be "passing through" (wink, wink), and during the meal tell him how much you love his daughter and will be sure to take care of her for the rest of your lives. He'll respect you on so many levels for it, and your girlfriend is sure to find it romantic! As for the mother, tradition goes that the man asks the father. I would just call her and let her know you'll also be asking the father for their daughter's hand in marriage and ask for her blessing as well.
Good luck and congrats! ♥
2007-09-12 05:10:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although it would be a nice gesture if you asked your girlfriend's father for her hand in marriage, it is really not necessary to do so in today's society. A telephone call by your girlfriend to her father, who then relays to him that you wish to speak to him, could provide you with the opportunity to ask him. If you decide to do this, it is not where you ask, but how you ask. Just remember to be pleasant and friendly and speak from your heart. Congratulations!
2007-09-12 05:03:59 · answer #6 · answered by imstillsandy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a courtesy to her parents, I feel like you should call them and ask for their daughters hand in marriage. I don't believe you need to be driving all over the country to accomplish this. Congrats to you both and I wish you well in your new life together.
2007-09-12 06:41:53 · answer #7 · answered by ishowtt4beads 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I ouwld ask the father but a phone call is ok! The father gives the bride away so in form of proper etiquette you should ask the father!
2007-09-12 09:05:38 · answer #8 · answered by divers_godeeper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same situation when I got married. You should, at least, talk to her parents and discuss your intentions for your live with her. It would make a very good impression on them and show that you respect them.
2007-09-13 01:46:29 · answer #9 · answered by Cord S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should probably ask in person, it will make you look better in the long run. It couldn't hurt to ask her mother, might get you in good with both sides of the family.
2007-09-12 05:02:36 · answer #10 · answered by Brooke 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋