Birthday party etiquette?
My son (age 5) was invited to a b-day party this Sat. and I was wondering if it would be rude to ask the parents if my other son (age 6) could attend. All 3 of the boys attend the same day care and play together but because my 6 yr old is in 1st grade now he didn't get an invite. What do you think I should do, my oldest is hurt because he didn't get invited and like I said they are all friends.
I forgot to add a very important part. My youngest is in Kindergarden now and that boy is in his class. His entire class got an invite, there were no names on them at all. But because my oldest is not in that class he didn't get one.
Thanks for all your time on answering this.
2007-09-12 04:49:56 · 11 answers · asked by ♥ Nikkee D ♥ 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Also forgot to add this party is at a park in our town.
2007-09-12 04:51:45 · update #1
I have a 5 and 7 year old myself and not only do I invite like aged siblings (that I know of) to our parties, but I also have had siblings show up without me knowing - more the merrier!
I wouldn't worry too much about the parents thinking that it is rude of you to ask he 6yrold can come - I do understand and enforce that each kid is different and entitled to different friends and events but if all the 3 boys are friends, it may have been an oversight on the party-boy's parents not to invite your 6 year old - has party-boy attended parties that you've thrown?
Hopefully you know party-mom, but even if you don't just call up and say something like - "...hey, 6yearold really enjoys playing with party-boy too - would it be a problem if he tags along with 5yrold to the party? Please don't go to the trouble of making him a goody bag or anything but I think he'd have fun with the other kids..." I bet party-mom, especially if she knows your 6yrold would say "Of course!!" and not think it rude at all - in fact, she may even gush on about how thoughtless she was for not asking him! They are sooo close in age that it really would be difficult for him to understand he wasn't invited.
I am really shocked at all the people that think straight up that this is rude - do they have kids? Lighten up folks - they're 5 and 6 for gosh-sakes - believe me - nothing should be that exclusive and rigid at that age. I think you will be acting like a good mom if you ask - I mean, what is this, a black-tie affair with linen napkins, crystal favors, and place cards?? Come on people!
2007-09-13 09:41:55 · answer #1 · answered by Smarty-Marti 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you know the parents well, then ask them. They may have just invited the whole class and didn't think about it. But if you aren't really good friends with the parents then it would be rude to bring an extra guest. Your sons are growing up and they won't always be invited to do the same things. I'm sure there will come a birthday party that your oldest is invited to and your younger son won't be attending. That's just one of those life lessons that kids have to learn.
2007-09-12 05:02:01 · answer #2 · answered by kat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you should not ask if you can bring your older son. The problem the host gets into then, if you let one sibling attend, then others want to bring siblings, and before you know it the invite list gets out of control. You have to draw a line and stick to a certain number of kids to invite. I have three kids and they all get invited to different parties so its a fact of life, they won't all get to go to the same parties together. Your 6 year old will get invited to plenty of class parties that your 5 year old won't. It all evens out. And, its nice alone time you can have with your younger son when you take him to the party alone. I hope this helps!!
2007-09-12 04:56:58 · answer #3 · answered by Mom 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It would definitely be rude to ask. It's a shame that your older son is hurt, but the guest list of a birthday party is up to the birthday child and his parents. I'm sure they would have liked to invite all the children their son is friendly with but after being polite enough to invite his whole class, it's just too much to ask. Take your older son out for some special alone time on the day of the birthday to make him feel better, but do not by any means ask if he can attend the party.
2007-09-12 04:55:01 · answer #4 · answered by maria 2 · 5⤊ 2⤋
I think you need to explain to your 6 year-old that it is a class party and as such it is for friends of your 5 year-old. You say it is being held at the park, perhaps the host does not want to be responsible for too many kids. Drop off your 5 year old and do something fun wiht your 6 year old. Teach them to deal with these situations now and they'll adjust easily in the future.
2007-09-12 05:02:04 · answer #5 · answered by phantom 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like this b-day party is intended for the K class. Unless the other mother approaches you to extend the invitation to your older son I would leave it alone.
2007-09-12 05:01:19 · answer #6 · answered by Cam 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its rude. His parents just wanted his class invited. Explain this to your son. On the day of the B-day party take the one son to the party drop him off and take the one who didn't get invited somewhere to have fun and to spend some one on one time with you.
2007-09-12 04:58:18 · answer #7 · answered by Cynthia B 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would find it rude to ask. Explain to your 6yr old that there will parties that he will be invited to and his brother won't be. Can you imagine how full this mothers hands are gonna be if your entire 5yr old sons class shows up and how full will her hands be if every kid in the class wanted his/her sibling to go. i agree with the one poster do something fun with your 6yr old so he doesn't feel left out. Trust me they are only 5 and 6 yrs old and there will plenty of parties for both of them in the near future. Your 6yr old is probably upset cause your makin a big deal over the fact that your 6yr old wasn't invited.
2007-09-12 05:28:23 · answer #8 · answered by Wishmaster 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I see no problem in calling in the RSVP and asking "was this intended for siblings"? If the parents know that both your children got along well with theirs they probably will tell you to please bring the other child. Most invites ask for RSVP and most people don't know that RSVP means reply whether you are coming or not. This opens the door to ask the question of bringing the other child without putting anyone on the spot.
2007-09-12 05:03:06 · answer #9 · answered by Mark W 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
This is important - - the intent might be just for the kindergarten class to attend.
If you are friends with the mother, I would ask.
Again, don't assume both are included.
2007-09-12 05:03:46 · answer #10 · answered by nova_queen_28 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋