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cannot have children and wanting a baby so bad.any advice u can give would help.and where do we start.we live in southern ill,not any agencies.race is open,we just want to enjoy a baby..thank u

2007-09-12 04:43:14 · 9 answers · asked by fancyface4u70 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting Adoption

i am asking for my best friend.they r a very loving couple.

2007-09-12 04:44:12 · update #1

9 answers

Adoption can be a very rewarding experience. But, first, make sure that the couple has dealt with the grief that infertility brings. If the couple has examined their hearts and minds and truly believe that they have a heart for adoption, then pursue it.

As some have stated, there is no quick way to adoption. The process takes time. At the very least, your friends would have to complete a homestudy and criminal background checks.

There are several ways to adopt a baby. A couple can choose to adopt through an agency, privately/independently (if they know of a mother who wants to make a plan of adoption), and through the foster care sysem.

If you want to adopt through an agency:
Catholic Social Services of Southern Illinois - http://cssil.org/adoption/index.aspx

Bethany Christian Services (also offers an infertility ministry)
Columbia (Southern), Illinois
724 W. Bottom, P.O. Box 1038
Columbia, IL 62236
Phone: (618)281-5959
For more information: http://www.bethany.org/southillinois

Lifelink International Adoption
http://www.lifelinkadoption.org/Offices-Southern.html
Eden United Church of Christ
903 N. Second Street
Edwardsville, Illinois 62025
Toll Free: (888) 750-5283
Telephone: (618) 692-4575

If you are thinking about adopting through a state agency, then go to http://www.state.il.us/dcfs/adoption/index.shtml

Another place to begin your research would be to visit the National Adoption Center website at: http://www.adopt.org/site_search.html

2007-09-12 06:50:32 · answer #1 · answered by Quietstorm 2 · 0 2

I know you want "easy & quick", but the adoption process is complicated, and raising an adopted child is very different than raising your own child.
You will have gained a child, but this child will have lost a family, and have grief, whether you choose to acknowledge it or not.
You need to research this MAJOR life decision. Read books, The Primal Wound, Lost & Found, The Adoption Triangle, What Every Adopted Child Wishes Their Parents Knew.
Go to an adoptee support group, and really listen, and see if you still want to take this on.

2007-09-12 22:41:09 · answer #2 · answered by Sunny 7 · 1 0

Go to www.adoptionattorneys.org.

There is a map where you can find REPUTABLE and SUCCESSFUL adoption attorneys in your area.

To prepare for the home study and adoption process, have them start to gather pictures of them having fun, either alone or as a couple. If they don't have any, then have them start taking some. Try to avoid pictures that indicate where they live (tee shirts with local teams or college names). Also, contact five or six people (only one or two of them can be relatives) that can write a recommendation letter.

If race is really open, and if you are willing to travel to pick up the baby, it is absolutely possible that it could take less than 9 months from the start of the home study to the date of placement!

2007-09-12 14:47:23 · answer #3 · answered by LC 5 · 0 1

Contact The Department of Children Services. Take their PATH class....this is for being a foster or adoptive parent. It takes approximately 4 months for the training and back ground check.

2007-09-12 11:48:06 · answer #4 · answered by holeeycow 5 · 0 0

i would like to respectfully urge you to seek information on parenting the adopted child, because bringing an adopted child into your home isn't about "wanting a child" its about wanting to give a child a home that needs one and addressing the extra attention adopted children need. Its about the adoptees needs not the adoptive parents needs. Its about giving a child the unconditional love and support they need after going through the amazing profound loss they do when they lose a first family. Adopted children have more issues that need to be addressed if you're going to raise them RIGHT, please seek out these issues, go to a support group FOR adoptees and just listen, there ARE many in Illinois www.adoptioncrossroads.org has many. good luck!

2007-09-12 17:58:24 · answer #5 · answered by Gershom 6 · 3 1

I am sorry you cannot have your own children. That must be very painful, but adoption is a complicated and not something you want to do quickly, please take your time and get educated about what adoptive families really experience, please remember the baby you adopt, will some day be a grown adult.

Adoptees come with special needs, they have lost their families, it is a serious undertaking.

2007-09-12 12:41:06 · answer #6 · answered by Joy M 3 · 6 0

Plenty of adoption agencies are found in the Yellow Pages. It's wise, however, to find one that is truly legit---because posers are out there, hiding from the Law.

2007-09-12 11:46:25 · answer #7 · answered by Mr. Wizard 7 · 0 0

First of all, I would sincerely hope that your friends that you are asking for have dealt with the pain and grief of their infertility FIRST.

The pain of infertility is just as deep as if they actually lost a living child. It is not something that is easily gotten over.

Adoption should only be considered after they have reconciled their grief and pain.

Would you tell a couple whose child just died, to go have another one to replace the child they lost?

No, and adoption shouldn't be used to "replace" the child they cannot conceive. Only after they've dealt with their grief should they even consider adoption.

2007-09-12 12:40:14 · answer #8 · answered by Lillie 5 · 6 0

try the bair foundation

:)
go into their website
We want to adopt to, but we are thinking about it. We have our own son but my husband wants to adopt. Im a bit scared. There are some mothes who give their child to adoption but you meet them before they have the baby. Well the choose you as their childs parents.

2007-09-12 11:46:56 · answer #9 · answered by yolie857 3 · 0 0

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