Good chance for getting custody of his son?

Question

I am 19 and my boyfriend is 21. He moved with me when I moved to go back to school. So we live together along with my best friend. Him and his ex have a son together. He is about 8 months old and now my bf's ex won't even let him see his son and she doesn't answer the phone when he calls to check on him. He buys everything for his son and tries to be in his life but she just wants him to pay for everything and give her money and never see the baby or have anything to do with him. Now they are going to court and he is going to try to get full custody of him. She is on food stamps, gets WIC, lives with a friend's mom, doesn't work, and has had one child taken away from her by DHR before. Where she is staying there is drug use, drinking, fighting, and it just is not a good environment for their son. My bf has been in trouble with the law before but he hasn't in two years. And he lives with me and my best friend. He does work though. How good of a chance does he have of getting custody?

Also he DOES have a video of the last time he went over there to see his son. He was just sitting there playing with him and all of a sudden his ex just started getting upset for no reason and the lady she lives with just grabbed his son up and it looked like she threw him and was cussing my bf out and telling him to leave and everything and he didn't even do anything. I mean, these people are like psycho.

Answer 1

He stands a pretty good chance of getting custody of his son, most especially since she has already had one taken away. Then again, some judges will only take kids away from mom if they come to court with needle hanging from arm - no joke.

Answer 2

Usually it is pretty hard to prove a mother to be unfit, but not impossible. I would advise that he gets an atty. He would have to be able to prove that the ex is indangering the safety of his child. Second, there should be some visitation rules set down here and the ex would have to abide by them or she would be held in contempt of court. Also the support checks should go through the courts, not her. There is no reason what so ever that he can't see his child. Then when he does have him, note any type of mark on his body. If there is concern about his weigh, take him in for a check up. Or find out who is the child's Dr. and go see him. He should be able to check up on his child's well being. Make sure you bring that up in court too. Is he getting his shots like he is suppose to? How about check ups? Does or did the Dr. notice any unusual marks on the child? There are alot of ways. Also, keep a notebook. When the ex calls, for whatever reason, when ever there is any contact note what is said, the date, the time. The courts don't want to deal with hearsay, they want straight up facts. Your bf will be heard if he is cool, calm, and sticks to the facts, including mentioning his concerns about his child. Unfortunately because you are only his gf you have to just sit there and not say anything unless asked. It may be hard for you and for your bf but, as soon as anyone starts ranting or raving, you're tuned out, and not being a mature adult and that is not what you want the courts to think. Maybe the ex will be like that and make it easier for you. All you can do is hope and don't give up.. Good luck.

Answer 3

Do u want the truth or someone to tell u what u want to hear?
The truth is the law most of the time will side with the mom. The law will bend over backwards for the mom. For her to be on food stamps and wic doesn't mean anything(i am 34,swf,on foodstamps,i got wic when my babies were young, live next to a crack house and I struggle like eveyone else)Sometimes life is hard and u can't do anything about it.
BUT GOOD NEWS he needs to stop paying her in cash......always pay her with check or moneyorder with carbon copy. All gifts and necessities with reciept. He has a better chance going for joint custody. Let her be primary. Show the court good faith. Then when she denies him his right to see his child he can call the police to enforce because he will have documentation. Then when he goes to court again he wil have proof for primary custody.

Answer 4

he can go into to court an tell the judge about the way she lives etc. but he has no evideance of this . It also depends on what state he lives in . In most case's the courts like to leave to child with the mother unless he can prove she is an unfit mother . then he would have the chance to get the child .. make sure he does his home work on this before he gos to court . call a lawyer found out what he can do .. Are you ready to become a mother to this child ??

Answer 5

He sounds like a great guy you better hold on to him. I think that there is a great chance that he is will get the baby I would save all the checks and receipts for proof on all the money that he has sent her and I would get a print out of his cell phone bill showing he has been tryin to get in contact with her.. I would use all of that in court. I would have as many pictures and witnesses as you could get because it is gonna be hard to get custody from the mom but i am sure the judge will see all that he has done for the child and take that into consideration... Good luck I wish yall the best..

Answer 6

You need to really think about this. You are only 19. Who is going to care for this child? If he really wants to be a father to his son, he needs to move out, get his own place and concentrate on being a father. He made a life time commitment to his son when he was conceived. He choose that woman as the mother of his child.

This is a lot to handle at such a young age. This is not going to be easy. You have to realize that the ex will always be a part of this mess.

You seem to have your head straight. Please think carefully about your future before going any further with this man.

Answer 7

His chances are very good if he can demonstrate to the courts that he can provide a better & more stable home for his child.

However, I have to wonder just why a 19yo girl with her whole life ahead of her would want to volunteer to take on so much grief, & drama.

These issues are his, & it's HIS bed to lie in. You don't really have to join him in any of it. Now I am not saying you need to dump him either. There is a middle ground here.
You say you are back in school GREAT!!! Stay focussed on that. The last thing you need right now is a serious distraction like this guy & all of HIS BAGGAGE.

Sure date him, exchange e-mails with him etc.etc. But don't co-habitate with him, or allow him to bring all of his troubles into your life right now. You are supposed to be building your own future right now, not trying to repair his past.
When he gets his life straightened out for himself, then maybe he will turn out to be a great guy to share your life with.
But in the meantime, while he is working on his issues, you could give yourself enough space from him so you could take the time to make your life secure enough so you can see the difference between wanting him & needing him.

I hope you will stop worrying about HIS chances & stay focussed on yours. Otherwise, you may get confused as to who's future you are working on.
Yours, or his?

Answer 8

Given the age of the child and the fact that he is living with 2 women he is not married to, slim to none. He may succeed in having his son placed in a foster home and getting visits. He should get a lawyer who has experience in this area of law.

Answer 9

Your boyfriend has to get a job... NOW.

He will be ordered by the court to pay child support, i'm sure.

It may take a while for the judge to make a decision, i dont' know, it depends.

He isn't that much better than SHE is... she doesn't work either.

I can't see how either of them can support a child, being jobless.

Maybe it's best to make some schedule of visitation first. Your boyfriend needs to get his life together before he can get custody of anyone.

that's my best answer.

Answer 10

yes, but you need proof of drug use, i.e police reports etc. tell him to get a lawyer, the courts seem to side with the mother unless the father has proof.