i m 28yrs old and my beloved is 22 yrs old we are in love from last 4yrs with lots of ups and down in our relation but still im in love with her.Her family reputation is not good so that my mother is not agree with my love she was dead against of it but my beloved also love me too much what i feel she never disagree with me she is very compromising with me she said that after marraige she never have any relation with her family if i or my family do not want.so what can i do whether i go with her or not pls pls pls help i m in great problem one thing more im also too much prestige or reputation cautious what can i do ??????????
2007-09-12 04:29:37 · 8 answers · asked by djgoutam78 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Let's tackle your points one at a time:
1) You are 28, and your beloved is 22. Neither of you are children anymore.
2) If the two of you are still in love after 4 years of ups and downs, the relationship sounds like a good bet for marriage.
3) One caution: the two of you need a better balance of power in your relationship, if your beloved never disagrees with you on major issues. Your job with her is to increase her confidence in herself. Allow her to make decisions regarding the two of you from time to time. Even if they turn out to be wrong, it will give her a chance to learn what works and what does not. Give her the right to make her own mistakes sometimes, even when they affect you. Then be there for her and love her and help her fix the consequences of those mistakes.
4) It is said that when a man and a lady marry, their families also marry as well. The differences in prestige or reputation between different families can put pressure on a marriage. Differences in race, religion, money, or social standing are sometimes major issues that most couples have been known to survive.
5) Regarding your mother. I am aware you love her and would rather have her blessing. Here's what to do:
5a) Propose marriage to your beloved right now, but you and your beloved should keep it quiet until later.
5b) You and your beloved should find the priest or minister or rabbi or judge who will officiate at your marriage, and the three of you should discuss the problem of your mother.
5c) Ask your officiator to have a private conversation with your mother regarding your intentions with your beloved. He or she may be able to put across wiser arguments to your mother in a more objective manner.
5d) If your mother is open to negotiating with a third party like your officiator, then the door is open to a wedding. You and your beloved will be free to publicly announce a wedding date.
6) If all else fails, elope. Your future (your beloved and the possibility of children with her) has to take priority over your past (your mother).
Good Luck!
2007-09-12 05:14:02 · answer #1 · answered by The Eternal Squire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should make your own decisions sounds like your mom wants to run your life don't let your beloved turn her back on her family because your mother thinks you are better be a man and stand up to her,Hon you need to be the one to live your life and be happy don't let your mom run your life for you
2007-09-12 11:39:25 · answer #2 · answered by just_me_1955 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a song.. goes like this..
a man shall leave his mother, and a woman leave her home.. they shall travel on together.. the two shall be as one...
Our parents raise us to be responsible adults. We go our way and find our life. Sometimes our parents don't think we make the right choices, (and sometimes we don't) but you are a grown man. You must follow your heart and should you decide that this is the woman for you, then eventually your mother will learn to accept her.. and maybe love her as much as you do.
2007-09-12 11:34:52 · answer #3 · answered by JoeJonasFan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hello well i was in a similar situation but they didnt know about my bf but in time they did but dont want to say why i look at it this way your the one who is going to be with this guy not your parents and if your parents love you like they say they do than they should accept who you fall in love with you dont choose who to fall in love with but love chooses for you and im telling you if you want to be with him be with him bc you dont want to lose the one thing in your life that is the love of your life do you think about that talk to your mother and explain to her why you love him or her adn tell her that if you love you than you should not have a problem with who i choose to date you cant blame ne one for a bad reputation so what if they do you dont need to spen your life trying to impress pple and if you family is all worried about the rep than stay with him-her ok bc in the end nobody can judge you but God ok i hope this helped you out a lil need ne more ansers or eustions ask me bc i have hav been trought the same thing jsut different circumstanses i knew ans assumed they wouyld allow me to date my bf so i never told them to not dissapoint them but i did in the end and now we all get together and talk you know family stuff just with my man in the picture now follow your heart and also ppl e tell me that if they didnt approve of him than that is there loss not yours bc you tried talk to you later and if yoiu need more advice i am here and i know this to getting advice and taking it into consideration is the hardest thing bc i had a prblem with that got advice on what to do and finally i took it and everything turned out to be the best ever
2007-09-12 12:40:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to tell your mother to give your girl a chance....you are marrying her not her family reputation...has your mother even taken the time to get to know her?? we love who we love and if you truly believe this is the one for you ...go for it
2007-09-12 11:37:53 · answer #5 · answered by jazzy l 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st = who are you going to spend the rest of your life with your family or him/her . you should not have to choose between the two , nor should your partner . when you marry you start your own family and if your or his/hers family's choose not to be apart of your new life then that is their loss.
2007-09-12 11:39:30 · answer #6 · answered by blueflowerscs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET A MAN YOUR WON AGE..AND IF YOUR "BELOVED" DOES NOT LIKE YOUR MOM THEN AGAIN..GET A NEW MAN
2007-09-12 11:52:15 · answer #7 · answered by ♥M♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do what is best for you.
stop letting others control your life...
2007-09-12 11:41:26 · answer #8 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋