Why does the Catholic Church consider pre-marital sex wrong? How do you make a decision whether or not to have sex in a relationship? My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. We have not had sex. We are both very attracted to one another and have very strong sexual feelings for one another. I am very tempted to have sex with him, but my Catholic upbringing seems to come into play and makes me feel guilty about my feelings for my boyfriend and about wanting to have sex with him. I feel very conflicted because I love my boyfriend very much and he feels the same way about me. I hope our relationship will grow serious and that we could get married. I wish we could get married now so that we could act on our feelings within the sacrament of marriage. Getting married just to have sex and not feel guilty is not a reason to get married. I'm not looking to justify having sex, but rather trying to understand what is the right way to act and feel about this issue. Thanks!
2007-09-12 04:14:22 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Guilt and fear are among the main manipulative tools of corporate religion.
Gods were invented by man, in a desperate attempt to explain what was once unexplainable... things like the sun, moon, and stars... day and night... thunder and lightening... sickness and death... etc... and to answer questions that were once unanswerable... vital, profound, important questions like "Daddy... what holds the sky up?" The answer for ALL of these things was some form of "God did it."
For all of these questions, the delusion "God did it" (the ILLUSION of knowledge) has been replaced by REAL knowledge... and as a result, this 'god' has been reduced from an all-powerful supernatural being to a 'God of the Gaps'... an imaginary cockroach-like creature that scurries from crack-to-crevice, looking for the remaining patches of darkness and shadow in mankind's '"knowledge-base", so as to cower and hide from the glaring light of knowledge and understanding.
The fact that people continue to cling to this pitiable, delusional 'god' idea is a pathetic disgrace, to say the least... and I am inclined to add 'tragic' to that, as well... a testament to the enduring power of gullibility, irrationality, willful ignorance, self-delusion, intellectual dishonesty, hypocrisy and drooling stupidity.
Yet today, we find stalwart defenders of these insane delusions fighting a desperate battle to stave off knowledge and understanding, trying to shield the dark cracks and crevices of ignorance from the light of reason... crying "No... no... that ain't so... God did it... God did it."
There is a whole INDUSTRY (Christianity) whose BUSINESS it is to create whole generations of adults who are, at once, gullibile, irrational, willfully ignorant, self-deluded, intellectually dishonest, droolingly stupid and hypocritical... and willing to tithe 10% for having their cognitive dissonance held in check through regular doses of holy bullshit.
Religious 'shepherds' KNOW that their 'flock' (sheeple) are scientifically ignorant and incapable of critical thinking... because they've been PROGRAMMED to be ignorant. They KNOW that they are suspicious of 'scientific' sources , and find them to be intimidating and incomprehensible... because they've been CONDITIONED to distrust them. These puppet-masters KNOW that their flock (victims) will seek their 'knowledge' from 'trusted' sources... the very-same puppet-masters. When the sheeple hear things like 'scientists claim that humans and apes shared a common ancestor, in the distant past', they experience 'cognitive dissonance'... this information is in conflict with the 'truth' that they have believed for their whole lives. So... where do they go to resolve this cognitive dissonance?... Scientists?... NO! They go to their 'trusted' sources... the sources who KNOW that they have been taught WHAT to think... they have not been taught HOW to think. Sources who KNOW that they can lie, obfuscate, misrepresent with impunity... with absolutely NO RISK that their minions will seek out independent, peer-reviewed corroborating information.
They do their jobs very well indeed.
Look... lose the guilt. Stop letting yourself be manipulated by people whose sole purpose is to control you through mind-control techniques that they have been refining for the past 1,700 years. Take care of birth-control issues. Make sure your boyfriend isn't sexually active outside of your relationship (you don't want any STDs). Enjoy yourself... it is no sin... because there IS NO sin... there is only right and wrong. Primary rule: hurt no-one.
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2007-09-12 04:24:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well first let me say it is not only Catholics who do not believe in sex before marriage. The reasons for God teaching this are many, when people have sex there is a bonding at the soul level and they are forever tied in this way. I am sure you have seen the illustration at church of the 2 pcs. of construction paper glued together and later torn apart. There are pcs. of each piece still stuck to each other. That is a very soul wrenching experience { I learned the hard way} If you 2 love and respect each other you will not do this to each other. The fact that you say " I hope our relationship will grow serious" is a good clue that it would be a mistake. God created someone for you, you should wait for him and marriage before sex. You owe that to your future husband, to be the only person that you have given yourself to. I would also like to ad that there have been studies done that show that teens and young adults who have sex commit suicide at an alarming rate. {most likely because they find they do not feel afterwards the love they thought they would and because they feel used} Just the other day they said on the news that the suicide rate and depression among teen girls jumped 70% last year. Please listen to your conscience, God is speaking to you.
2007-09-12 04:38:35 · answer #2 · answered by Connie D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that you would be "sinning" then you probably should not. However, as religion is a set of morals backed by a non-existent being, I would be very sure that it is what you want to follow before you just accept its tenants.
Having sex before marriage is a very useful tool for determining compatibility. The first several times, like any activity we do, often are not the best and that shock often stresses a new relationship. People often find out after marriage that their sexual expectations and needs are extremely different and are incompatible.
I personally would not marry anyone without ensuring sexual compatibility.
2007-09-12 04:26:43 · answer #3 · answered by Pirate AM™ 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It is based upon the idea that sex is a total giving of yourself to another person, rather than simply some form of recreational exchange of pleasures that the materialist world holds|
The reason being, marriage which is in essence a commitment to the other person for life, if not there, would be in contradiction with the total self-giving of the sexual act which implies that you are each other`s totally, because with love, the intention is permanence - if one says that one loves another person, but perhaps not three years from now, then it is not true love - and one has to be careful to distinguish true love from strong feelings which may evaporate quickly - only the test of time determines true love|
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2007-09-12 04:21:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well, am glad really that most of the answers r against pre-martial sex.
In my opinion, the period one spends before marriage is considered a test of righteousness. God is testing u . And after marriage , ur husband will b proud of u coz u were as strong as he was.
So, control yourself more. Ask God to give u power to.
Good Luck!
2007-09-12 04:47:05 · answer #5 · answered by cleopatra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your feelings are natural. If God exists then he created you with sexual urges, so don't feel guilty about them.
I would be careful about engaging in sex, just because it feels good though. Sex comes with allot of responsibilities, and you will find that emotions are elevated by it, which makes breaking up tremendously hard.
Boys and Girls are different when it comes to sex as well. You may find that once you have have a few encounters with it, your boyfriend may feel the need to get a new girlfriend. That is also natural, males are driven to seek new conquests after one is achieved. It sounds bad, but really isn't, its just the way of life.
Just be careful and listen to your parents, until you are supporting yourself.
2007-09-12 04:20:35 · answer #6 · answered by ɹɐǝɟsuɐs Blessed Cheese Maker 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
2353 Fornication is carnal union between an unmarried man and an unmarried woman. It is gravely contrary to the dignity of persons and of human sexuality which is naturally ordered to the good of spouses and the generation and education of children. Moreover, it is a grave scandal when there is corruption of the young.
2348 All the baptized are called to chastity. The Christian has "put on Christ,"135 the model for all chastity. All Christ's faithful are called to lead a chaste life in keeping with their particular states of life. At the moment of his Baptism, the Christian is pledged to lead his affective life in chastity.
2349 "People should cultivate [chastity] in the way that is suited to their state of life. Some profess virginity or consecrated celibacy which enables them to give themselves to God alone with an undivided heart in a remarkable manner. Others live in the way prescribed for all by the moral law, whether they are married or single."136 Married people are called to live conjugal chastity; others practice chastity in continence:
There are three forms of the virtue of chastity: the first is that of spouses, the second that of widows, and the third that of virgins. We do not praise any one of them to the exclusion of the others. . . . This is what makes for the richness of the discipline of the Church.137
2350 Those who are engaged to marry are called to live chastity in continence. They should see in this time of testing a discovery of mutual respect, an apprenticeship in fidelity, and the hope of receiving one another from God. They should reserve for marriage the expressions of affection that belong to married love. They will help each other grow in chastity.
2007-09-12 04:43:58 · answer #7 · answered by Vernacular Catholic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is for procreation so any other ideas about are coming from lust and desire. So many abortions are caused from having sex with no regard as to the outcome. Sex is meant for only one outcome. Look at the nature and you will see that animals have sexual desire only at set times and the result is always the same. Love is not sex yet is the bonus of being in a true Loving relationship. If you don't want to marry him why would you give yourself that way to him?
2007-09-12 04:21:47 · answer #8 · answered by Premaholic 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I struggled with this myself. And I didn't wait. Now I have a baby I am not married and struggling to make ends meet. I still love him and we are still together but so many things have gone wrong and I have been through a lot of things that I probably wouldn't have had to endure if I had waited.
My advice wait, I believe it's worth it. I can't say that I regret it but if i had it to do over I'd wait.
2007-09-12 04:25:35 · answer #9 · answered by chyna 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need counselling not a yahoo answer.
Another possibility is to go to an Engagement Encounter in order to learn why pre-marital sex is not only wrong but really doesn't help the relationship one bit.
There is an old Minnesota saying: No need to buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.
If you don't get that ask your mom what it means.
2007-09-12 04:25:43 · answer #10 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
formal marriage never happened in the scriptures... the most that happened was to ask the girl's father's permission. the rule for "pre-marital" sex was that by doing so, you just got married.
fornication, as used in the OT, mostly referred to idolatry, not sex; and in the NT, the word meant "use of prostitutes"
2007-09-12 04:42:32 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋