Hi there. I'm 26 and currently a working professional (engineer). My confession is that I secretly just want to be a Mom! I don't really care about my job - I only went into engineering for the money and b/c I'm smart. I'm just waiting for the point at which it is the right time to start having babies, and then I feel like that's it, I'm leaving the professional world forever. Ideally I'd like to have a few kids then once they're old enough to be in school, start a daycare.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2.5 years, we have a house, and he's an engineer to. But we won't be having kids for a few more years, after we're married. I've told him of my crazy ideas and he supports them and thinks it's great that I want to raise our kids. The women in his family are very career-oriented so I'm sure they will have their opinions (they wouldn't say them to my face though).
Am I nuts?!? The money in engineering is really good and I worked so hard for my degree!
2007-09-12 03:57:21 · 21 answers · asked by celeste 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
My wife was a lawyer making six figures when we got married. She has always wanted to be a mom, but she didn't put her life on hold and wait around for it, because you never know what is going to happen... instead, she got her degree and started her career, like you, and once we had our twins, she gave it up and hasn't looked back since.
Some things are more important than money. You do not have "crazy ideas." There is a reason they call it maternal instinct.
2007-09-12 04:11:30 · answer #1 · answered by Yogi 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are crazy. I do not have a degree, but I did the same thing. I have 4 wonderful children and I was blessed to be able to stay at home for nine years and take care of them. I had my own daycare also. It was great! I could take care o my kids AND help with the bills. I have just recently started working again...it wasn't as tough as I thought it was going to be. My youngest is in school now so I figured it was time to get an outside job(after taking about a year off). I would make that same decision again if asked. I wish you all the best.
2007-09-12 07:34:04 · answer #2 · answered by Wendy S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not nuts, its the instinct to procreate. Some people call it your biological clock or the nesting instinct, whatever. But just because you become a mom doesn't mean you have to give up engineering. Many mothers manage both a career and child rearing successfully.
But do what you feel in your heart you want to do. You may find that being at home with your kids is great for a while, but may not offer you the mental challenge you need.
Better to decide that after the children arrive than now when you are just longing for them....
2007-09-12 04:07:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not nuts. We all have different ambitions. When I was young it wasn't so unusual to be a "stay at home" mom. When my mother was raising kids, staying at home with them was the norm. Now we have choices.
I loved staying at home with my children. Sure, it meant there wasn't as much money for things, but with common sense and good financial habits, we did very well (hubby did have a good job, as it seems your boyfriend does).
I know this isn't politically correct, but being there for your children (I don't care if it's the mommy or the daddy) is the best thing you can do for them. Daycare is not bad, but there is nobody else in this world who is going to care for your child the way you will.
You want to stay home with your kids when you have them - do it or you will regret that you didn't. No different than a woman who wants a career but stays home instead.
2007-09-12 04:59:57 · answer #4 · answered by Judith L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not nuts at all! I was the same. I went to a really good college, and got a really good job afterwards that paid well... all knowing the minute I had a baby I was leaving the workforce forever. My husband was on board and I was fortuneate that financially we could afford to do that. So sure enough, I got pregnant, had my baby and quit immediately. That was 7 years ago (and two more kids since) and I haven't regretted it not one bit. I still "work", I have a very fulfilling job as a mother, and I am very active at their schools and in their lives and as a result probably work a lot harder than I did at my job, lol!!
I wish you the best of luck!
2007-09-12 04:52:33 · answer #5 · answered by Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Haha! I quit going to college because I knew I just wanted to be a mom and I didn't want to pay all those school loans for no reason! I was already with a steady boyfriend, which I'm now married to for 2+ years and we couldn't wait to have a baby (11 months old now.) We got married, bought a house, and got busy! :) Hehe... and we're thinking about the next one now.
(I do work by the way, which is different that your plan, but thats my preference.)
You only get to live once and having children is the most wonderful thing in the world! Do what makes you happy!
2007-09-12 05:26:44 · answer #6 · answered by amber 18 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO!! You are not nuts! I think it is very admirable that you would be willing to set aside your career and the money it brings in to give your children to be something that so many children today are missing out on...PARENTING and a loving mother who is there for them!
Don't let other peoples opinions, including family, dictate your wonderful nurturing quality. This world has become so money oriented that we are forgetting that our children will someday be leading us and without a good solid foundation in their formidable years...what in the world are we in for?
I am a stay at home mom after a career and at first I went through the "oh my goodness...I need to be at work" thing but then I realized that THIS IS MY WORK!! I made the choice to have my kids and that is most important. Why have someone else raise them for me? They wouldn't be my children then would they?
Good luck to you in all that you do and KEEP THAT FRAME OF MIND!!
2007-09-12 04:08:37 · answer #7 · answered by JaeDEE 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, as Christians, confession (1 John 1:9) is something we should be using all the time (not to a priest, you can pray to God silently in your head). I don't think some one time death bed thing is going to win you points with God, unless of course you are talking about actually believing that Christ died for your sins (John 3:16). That would be wonderful, but that is an entirely different thing from confession of sin (1 John 1:9), which should be ongoing. So I would think the answer is no, but of course only God knows the heart. And if man one did all those things because he wanted people to think of him highly, or was proud, or self-righteous then these are dead works. And by the way. As Christians, when we die, we will not be judged by our sins. Those were forgiven at the cross. We receive or don't receive rewards for the production of our spiritual lives. The unbeliever is the one who has to worry about "works". at the Last Judgement. And those works are not sins. The sins of the world were paid for on the cross. The works are "good deeds". Meaning unbelievers are counting on them for salvation. One book has the good deeds, the other (Life) has their name blotted out because they did not believe in Christ. So there is a deficit: good works minus salvation equals you are in the red.
2016-05-17 21:48:50 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're nuts! Most people in the world are just working to earn a paycheck, doing the things they really love outside of work--that's what hobbies are for! It's rare to actually get paid to do what you love to do.
I would advise you to just be flexible when the time comes and you have kids. I'm sure it will be a rewarding experience, but at the same time you may find that you miss being able to get away from the little ones for a while, miss being surrounded by adults doing grown-up things, and want to go back to work!
2007-09-12 04:07:01 · answer #9 · answered by Jennifer L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If staying home and raising your family is your true passion, then that's what you should do. If you find it's not for you, you have an excellent career to fall back on once your children are old enough. It's a tough job and not for everyone!! Make the decision that feels right in your heart.
2007-09-12 04:51:12 · answer #10 · answered by csvsmom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋