He's 43 and I'm 40...And I just think having a big fancy wedding is not for us...more for the younger generation...But I do want something nice and intimate w/ friends and family.....Give me some ideas to toss around or work from...Please...He's talking about a church and I'm talking about a tent in our huge lawn but I wanted to see what other ideas we could work with.....We are not getting married until next April at least....
2007-09-12 03:31:36 · 22 answers · asked by karens lovinlife 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Neither of us are set on anything...We are both throwing ideas around for the other till we decide together...Thanx ....
2007-09-12 03:33:36 · update #1
It's not the church that makes a wedding big and fancy. If he would like a church and you want simple, your compromise could be the church ceremony and the backyard reception.
The big expense and "fancy" extras are usually found at a reception. And there is no rule that you have to wear a big ballerina, cathedral train dress in a church. You could chose a more simple bridal dress and wear that to a church.
For me personally, there is something to be said for a church wedding, if God has any place in your life. It wasn't until recently that I was taught the significance of the altar in the church and what makes it sacred in comparison to a beach, yard, etc.
I don't know what faith you belong to, if any, but consider looking into what the church ceremony could signify in your life and marriage.
If neither of you have any type of faith in God, then that's fine. But in case you do, don't rob yourself of that just because you think you are "too old". You are never too old to have your marriage blessed in the Church.
You may just want to choose a dress style that suits your age and status in life.
2007-09-12 03:47:26 · answer #1 · answered by Proud Momma 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
two words: simple and elegant believe it or not your gown and flowers will be a big factor in setting the tone for your wedding. you should choose something truly opulent but along a more simple line and let that lead into a beautiful intimate wedding surrounded by family and friends in a small church.
my parents recently travelled to canada for summer vacation and attended a wedding in a little village in b.c. the church was quite tiny, held about 40-50 people and the wedding was beautiful! it was so simple it was charming and romantic. there was only the bridal couple and a maid of honor and best man. the gowns and flowers were stunning, the church was beautiful and the effect was sheer elegance. that might be a good compromise - you could have the intimate styled wedding you want and in a church as he wants and then the reception on your lawns as you describe.
there are so many 'historical villages' now-a-days almost everywhere and i am sure you could find a beautiful little church in one of them.
however you get married, i hope it is perfect and that your life is filled with joy and honor!
2007-09-12 05:15:33 · answer #2 · answered by itsjustyouandmebabe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion is that you and your fiance find some middle ground and go after that.
I'm on the same boat! LoL! My partner wants a traditional wedding with gazzilion GM and white glove service, and I want a non-traditional, 1 GM, 1 maid of honor big party.
Started discussing the big issues first and then the details would be easy. Be open minded about compromising and negotiating with him. We started with location, guest list and type of wedding. We agreed upon having a selective guest list (75 tops), will have an open bar, and it will be at a north east beach.
We are still debating about the food, I want a clam bake, he wants something more elaborate and plated, but either way, we are having lobster, either whole or tails.
Still decicing about teh ceremony. I want church and he might not want that. Sometimes I don't want church and then, he wants church hahaha
Good luck
2007-09-12 05:13:52 · answer #3 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm...You could do an intimate wedding, in a church for his sake, invite only immediate friends and family, and then do the big fancy reception in a tent in your yard for everyone you know. It is quite common to have a smaller wedding when you are older and a larger reception.
You could have someone take digital pics of you guys at the wedding and have them loaded into a slideshow so everyone else can see pics of the wedding projected on a wall of the tent near the gifts table. That way everyone is happy, they got to see pics of the wedding, and still get to take part in celebrating with you two at a reception.
2007-09-12 04:28:30 · answer #4 · answered by SisterSue 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he really cares about getting married in the church, you can always do that, and then head back to the yard for the reception. If you do the big gown for the church, you can always change into a less formal dress for the reception. That is what I plan on doing. There is always a good compromise, but if he really cares about the church, I don't think you should try to take that away. I know my religion does not see you as married unless it is done in the church, catholic. I really wanted an outdoor wedding, but it just in not possible. My fiance and his family really care about having the church wedding.
2007-09-12 04:16:25 · answer #5 · answered by Crystal 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I got married I was 37 and he was 40. We both wanted a nice wedding but nothing too weddingesque. The church service would be more for religious purposes, and if your husband wants that and your flexible. Make him happy... As far as the reception that's another story
I didn't want a ton of bridesmaids just my sister and my husband's brother. My BF daughters were my flower girls and my nephews were my ring bearers. Some other things that felt strange for me... wearing the big white dress and veil so I bought a second dress for the reception. It felt more sophisticated for me. I didn't do the garter toss/bouquet toss. Most of the songs were not so wedding, more lounge euro mix.
2007-09-12 04:07:31 · answer #6 · answered by Lyla 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My Hubby and I were in our mid 30's when we got married. We didn't think the 250 -300 people wedding was right for us so we opted for a church ceremony (to please the families) and then had a reception at a historic carriage house. We had a 5 hour cocktail party with a live band. We only had 52 people, but it was amazing. Everyone commented that they always loved the cocktail hour at a wedding, but always ate too much and couldn't enjoy the dinner. So we did away with the dinner and had endless hors devours, a raw bar and open bar all night.
2007-09-12 03:45:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Okay, first, please don't think that at 40, you are cut off from doing anything that you want to do with this wedding. Isn't 40 the new 30 or something?
Second, we had our son's wedding and reception in our backyard with a tent, and it was wonderful. I recommend that to anyone. People loved it, even though it rained part of the day. The pictures are great.
2007-09-12 04:26:46 · answer #8 · answered by Tricia R 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The elegance and fancy can come just from the decorations, and you can have a less formal (say semi formal) attire. Some of the most beautiful weddings I've been to were semi formal to business formal attire and out doors.
I'm sure you've looked through every bridal magazine, but have you looked at lots of photographers websites? I got a lot of ideas from other people's photos.
Good luck.
2007-09-12 03:43:49 · answer #9 · answered by Cindy B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where are you from? That could open more doors. Is there a nice park where you can have an intimate wedding? I live in Colorado, in the mountains, and I am getting married on the lake. It is so beautiful and free! Um...if you live near a beach, what about a small ceremony on the beach?
2007-09-12 03:40:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋