5 yrs ago, my hub was a very angry and irrational person. Told me things like we might have to do without electricity when our money probs were bad( but not THAT bad). Even though he knew I was clinically depressed, he told me that the house had to be clean or there would be no Xmas tree put up, and I said that would be punishing the kids, but he didnt' seem to get it. Told me I might have to do without water because he didn't have time to figure out what was wrong, and I was floored! I was afraid of his anger and felt I know longer knew him and that he didnt' love me. The kids were what kept us together. Left him for one day, he agreed to get help. Put on meds for Bipolar, and said he thought didn't help, but I thought they did. Doc never let me know for sure what they figured out. Anyway, I met some 1 in depression chat room. Felt so guilty and confessed to hub and told him I had cybered twice. That is so "NOT" me btw. Then, when things didn't improve, please hold on answers...
2007-09-12 03:07:18 · 8 answers · asked by ShineOn 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I went to my best friends house and her brother was there whom I had dated yrs earlier. He still liked me, and I feel guilty that knowing that felt so good. The most I did was hug him when I left which was something that we always did anyway. Added him to messenger, and hubby knew it but didn't care. I was soooo lonely. We didnt' do anything out of line except to talk about being together sometime if things didn't work out. And he did say some things that were inappropriate for friendships. Now, here we are yrs later and my hub is so great now. You would never know he was the same person, and I can't let go of the guilt!! My best friend keeps saying, but you didnt' do anything and your hub was being a jerk! I just can't forgive myself and I don't think telling him would be a good idea since I always wonder what he might do( if his anger would come back). God, I just feel so bad, you would think I slept with the guy. Please help me to move on. Have asked God for forgiveness.
2007-09-12 03:11:55 · update #1
You all have no idea how much you have helped me. I thought people would be saying things like" well, that's the repercussions of what you did". Just so it is clear, the meds for bipolar were given to hubby, not me. Thanks again everyone.
2007-09-12 03:30:32 · update #2
If you have asked God for forgiveness, then that is all you need to do, through Jesus..remember, you are a sinner, and so was your husband. Your honest to your husband outshined what you 'did' your husband was very mean to you and almost sadistic..I am glad he got help and you are both doing fine..forget what you did, and forgive him, and forgive yourself...The Lord already has...the trick is, not to do it again..if you live in the past, you have no future...God Bless, and I wish you both a happy future.!
2007-09-12 03:24:01 · answer #1 · answered by MotherKittyKat 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't know why you are beating yourself up so bad for this. From what you have said you told him about the little on-line fling with that guy in the depression chat and he knew that you added your friend to your messenger and he had to know that the two of you had a past relationship and if he is fine with all of that and nothing else happened other than what you said happened you have no reason to feel guilty because your husband already knows everything.
2007-09-12 10:17:56 · answer #2 · answered by Morganna 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I understand it, things are now good with your husband- and sounds like they have been for awhile- great! You are definitely suffering from a guilty conscience- "cheating" to you could be the mere thought of it. First- in my opinion- you did nothing wrong other than be human and enjoy positive (non-sexual) attention. I don't know that "fessing" to your husband will help- this is a big deal to YOU and will be difficult for your husband to believe you feel so badly about something that didn't actually happen...my suggestion is to talk to the friend (expect him to think its odd)...tell him your marriage is great, thank him for being there for you when you needed that attention- but that you are happy now and wanted to make sure he understands there is/was no possibility of you wanting to cheat on your husband.
Good luck and stop being so hard on yourself!
2007-09-12 10:19:58 · answer #3 · answered by jmd72inva 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ShineOn I feel for you..
You were getting Mental Abuse.
Stay on meds that will help your depression.
I do not think you are bipolar,but you do need a depression medicine.
Talk to your friends are talk like you are doing here....let it all out...that is your very best medicine.
~~Hang in there~~
2007-09-12 10:16:11 · answer #4 · answered by Mustbe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tough situation. Kids, apparent years of marriage. Shouldn't confess something that wasn't real though it isn't good. Personally I would have to get away from psycho.
2007-09-12 10:11:28 · answer #5 · answered by Moondog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really want to solve out the your problem without affecting the kids ..... I guess you need to persuade your Huz-Bend(husband) to have another one ... in my opinion hahahaha .... I always think this way .....
2007-09-12 10:15:10 · answer #6 · answered by alcharvard 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
burry everything of the past,better live positively with the present
2007-09-12 10:17:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its simple, you didnt do anything wrong.
2007-09-12 10:14:10 · answer #8 · answered by stanggt3 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋