My boss insists I wear a bra?

Question

I'm 40 yrs old and never worn a bra. I am not large enough to need one and I make a point of never showing cleavage, wearing thick shirts, dark clothes and I layer with a jacket over lighter garments at work. I work at a private school and in my first week my boss showed me a type written page saying she copied it from the dress code in the employee manual listing a bra as a necessary item of clothing. I assured her that was NOT the dress code in the manual as I had a copy of my own and no mention of a bra was in it. I told her that I had never worn one and had no in mention of starting. (Respectfully but firmly). A year passed and no mention was made of the bra issue. Recently she reported me to HR telling them I was "over exposed" and the bra issue has once again reared its head. Is this harassment? Keep in mind that this boss also wrote me up once for having an unopened banana on my desk even though there is no rule against food. And makes staff ask permission to use the restroom

Answer 1

yes its harrassment. keep track of her activities and report her everytime she does something.

Answer 2

Well, I actually can understand both sides of the argument when it comes to the bra thing (the banana thing is just ridiculous, though!).

You may not be able to tell, but the girls might be a little more noticeable than you realize (i.e., slight sagging, headlights on, that sort of thing). How else would your boss know you're still not wearing one a year after you've told her you have no intention of wearing one?

But then I can also understand how it would be harrassment because your boss shouldn't be looking in that area in the first place. However, as I said, the problem may be a little more noticeable than you think.

Also, this may not just be your boss's doing. Perhaps you co-workers have been complaining that your choice causes a distraction?

Honestly, I'd just wear a bra for those 8 hours. It'll be uncomfortable at first because you've never worn one, but you can always take it off when you get home.

Answer 3

That is harassment. If there is NOTHING in the manual regarding dress codes with regards to a bra being required, then you are not required to wear one.

Sounds like a crazy workplace. I'll darn well use the restroom with or without permission! Wrote you up for an unopened banana?!?!? Crazy. And whoever looks at your file will see how crazy the person who wrote you up is.

Answer 4

All sounds a bit weird to me, I think your boss is on a bit of a power trip.

Then again, not having seen you, I don't know which of you is correct. I think a person should have the right to wear whatever undergarments they want, but working in a school you do have to show a certain amount of sensitivity. Maybe your boss has had complaints from parents? Or maybe she is trying to protect you from being gossiped about by hormonal teenagers. It's even possible she fears some kind of law suit, these days it's possible to be sued for anything.

Maybe you should make an appointment to talk to her in private about it, hear her reasons why she thinks it is necessary, give you reasons why you don't want to, and see it you can come to some kind of agreement.

Alternatively, if you think she's going to kick up a huge fuss about it, maybe you should just comply with her wishes, a bra isn't that expensive, and an non-wired one is nice and comfy, and you can take it off when you leave school. It's up to you, is this really so important to you that you would put the respect of your colleagues, or even your job on the line?

Answer 5

As a compromise how about wearing a nice cotton camisole under your clothing or a shelved tee shirt or the stick on bra to cover your nipples.

From your own statements it sounds like you do need a bra IE wearing layered clothing, dark colors, thick shirts. Sounds like a bra is needed.

The question is will wearing a bra for eight hours effect your life that much? If this boss is fired for harassment or if you find a new job will your new boss still require you to wear a bra.

I would wear a bra rather than risk my job or risk putting food on the table. A judge or higher power may not see it your way because wearing a bra is an expected norm in our society from the age of 12up.

Answer 6

At 40 there is a bit of jiggling going on, no matter your size. As an administrator I'm sure she finds this may be a bit distracting. It is her call.It's is the same as a man who didn't wear underwear. If, with each step, he was "swinging in the wind" it is the administration's call.

Look a bra should not be uncomfortable. If you require little support a sports bra will do the trick. It is just a little snugger than a t-shirt. At 40 you know there are some battles not worth fighting.

The other stuff is just weird. I'd look for another job.

Answer 7

ok except you're working at a place like hooters or a strip club, then not one of the female workers could have been clever to the assumption of The gown Code changing in some unspecified time interior the destiny, whilst they took the interest, yet once you get exhilaration from showing off, alongside with the different women that chosen to stay, properly then Rock Out !! you seem such as you get exhilaration from being around those with an open suggestions, and the females that left, probable are not Your type besides, so solid riddance to the fewer exciting ! hey once you're cool with the completed deal, then why concern, You do pose a solid question for somebody properly versed in place of work rules, yet You have been the single to contemporary the assumption, not the boss, so it may exchange the completed ingredient.

Answer 8

I must disagree.

Anything can be taken as harrassment nowadays. It depends on your reception. Please understand that you're working at a private institution, and what you wear can be held against your company, not you, if you are seen and known by a parent. Someone might find it appalling, and see it as harrassment on the grounds of professional care and presence. The idea that she is writing you left and right is on the grounds on how you might be seen as a person who is setting a bad example, let alone you work for a private school of unknown genders.

As you stated, you put effort in your warddrobe in concealing your bust. However, it is a different perspective to those. Please just try wearing the bra; although it is not on the manual it is known that it is an "implied" code for work attire.
Implied attire is that people generally wear underwear, bras, socks, panties, boxers, shorts, etc for cleanliness/grooming/professional reasons.

As for the banana issue, it's a possibility that she might have found it inappropriate. If you work as an administrative, it is not professional to have food lying in desks- opened or not. It is to make sure paperwork is not tampered, or spilled on.

I'd hate to be a blunt one, but you might want to get the hint that she thinks you're a slob, hence her writing you up. If you feel that she is picking on you or bullying you in an in direct manner, try talking to her, and see what she thinks of you. That way, you'll know if you should fight for more or take a stand, get a lawyer to see if your case is right. If you're sick of it, look for a new job.

Answer 9

Keep your employee manual on your desk and when she says you are doing something wrong, ask her to point out where the reference to that offense can be found in the employee manual.

How can she tell you are not wearing a bra? If she can tell, maybe you DO need to wear one. Maybe to her it has more to do with setting an example for the girls at the school than it does with you needing to wear one.

I don't know, I don't understand why she would press the issue. She just sounds picky to me!

Answer 10

If it is due to religious convictions, then you're safe. Otherwise, if the company's policy has a particular dress code (even if it's been recently modified to include bra requirements), then it must be followed. Although you may not be "large enough to need one," that is not the only reason to wear a bra in the workplace. Even if you are flat-chested, to be frank, you still have nipples. In a chilly room....well, you know the rest. I would ask why a complaint has been submitted. Someone may be seeing something that may not be appropriate at school.

Answer 11

I've been working a very long time, used to write corporate policies and have never, ever read or written any dress code that included reference to wearing or not wearing undergarments. Its absurd.

If you dress as modestly as you say, then I think the supervisor has a reportable obsession.

Keep recording every occasion she chastises you for such petty, ridiculous perceived 'offences'.

Banana indeed!!! She has no life!