Old classmate is depressed and hopeless....?

Question

We haven't seen this guy in 20 years, at our reunion, it was obvious that he had full pocket$ and an empty life...he was annoying and rude and egocentric to the max and we were looking forward to not seeing him until our 50th...but he's contacting us, says he wasted his life and he sounds VERY depressed, how do we help without subjecting ourselves to his personality and problems...???

Answer 1

Since you haven't seen this guy for 20 years, it isn't necessary to make him your new best friend. I would simply tell him that he sounds very depressed, and you hope he will see someone that can help him. This may sound scary to you, but I would also ask him if he's feeling hopeless about his life, (which could be a sign that he thinks about suicide). Tell him that you know nothing about depression, but that you want him to seek help. You could even give him a helpline number, where he can talk all he wants about his life and feelings. 1-800-784-2433 is such a number.

Answer 2

if he thinks he's wasted his life so far, he can always change that... set goals, make future plans.... take a class (even karate), or volunteer somewhere to help others? from here, i have no idea what his interests are.

if he is depressed, well, he is an adult, there are many resources for help with depression and he is going to have to make an effort to find these resources. i know, i have had bouts with depression all my life... sitting around worrying about it wasn't helpful.. i had to get up of my butt and see the doctor. therapy was a great help, as well.

it's nice you want to help, but if he seems more like a parasite than anything else, you will probably have to cut him short. does he want advice from you? if so, let him know HE is the one who has to take action and get involved in things which interest him (hobby?) and also find a social niche -- that is why i mentioned classes or volunteer work -- which suits him.

hope it works out.

Answer 3

What goes around comes around...I totally understand you not wanting to deal with someone annoying that has a personality and problems, it is just more trouble than it is worth and you do not want to make yourself depressed...

at the same time maybe there is some reason he is coming to you for help. Does he think you are a great person, someone to look up to? Do he pretend to be annoying to try to get accepted? Be there for him but at the same time go on with your own life and just try not to get too involved, maybe he will get help and at the same time be better for himself realizing he has a "friend" that is there for him.

That is all he needs to know, especially when your depressed, is that you have friends you can count on so your not alone.

Sorry, hope I helped!

Answer 4

That's too bad about your friend. Maybe he is just down on his luck and needs a good set of ears and shoulders. Can also be just a midlife crisis. Be there for him the best you can but you may also want to recommend to him that he see a professional to help him deal with his depression.

Answer 5

Contact his immediate family and explain what's going on. They are the best source for this type of situation. Advise this person to seek professional help

Answer 6

Homeopathic Remedies for Anxiety / Panic Attacks / Stress / Depression(Bereavment) / Mood Swings :-

ANXIETY / PANIC ATTACKS & STRESS :-

Sudden with restlessness and fear of death, Panic Attacks, Aconite 30X or 200X,1/2 hourly (3 Doses)

Prolonged with periodic and panic attacks Arsenic Alb.200X, 4 hourly (3 Doses)

With fainting spells; profuse sweating; worse in the morning Sulphur 30X or 200X 3 hourly (3 Doses)

Makes patient walk fast; due to anticipation Argentum Nit 200X, 3 hourly (3 Doses)

Worse lying in bed and closing the eyes Carbo Veg 30X or 200X, 4 hourly (6 Doses)

Anxiety aggravated by upward or downward motion; going in an elevator; worse till 11 P.M, Borax 200X or 1M, 3 hourly (3 Doses)

Anxious about business even when seriously ill Bryonia Alba 200X 3 hourly (3 Doses)

Full of apprehensions in the evening Causticum 200X, 3 hourly (3 Doses)

Anxiety and fears in the evening with restlessness and palpitation Calcarea Carb.200X or 1M, 3 hourly (3 Doses)

Anxiety worse while lying still. Sad music ameliorates the complaints Manganum Acet 200X 3 hourly (3 Doses)

Anxiety due to fright, fear,exciting news; stage fright; worse while appearing for examination or interview etc Gelsemium 30X or 200X 3 hourly (6 Doses)

Mood Swings, Anxiety due to grief or shock in the subconscious mind Ignatia 200X or 1M, 3 hourly (3 Doses)

Anxiety; better after eating Anacardium Or 30X, 4 hourly.

DEPRESSION & GRIEF(Bereavement) :-

Severe shock due to sudden death of loved ones; restlessness, anxiety and fear Aconite 200X. 10 min (3 Doses)

Prolonged mournings; cannot overcome the loss of loved ones and/or Mood Swings. Ignatia 1M or 10M, 6 hourly (3 Doses)

When the grief is in the conscious mind; patient weeps; does not like sympathy Natrum Mur.200X or 1M, 6 hourly (3 Doses)

For chronic grief and indignation Staphysagria 200X or 1M, weekly (3 Doses)

Depression with suicidal thoughts feeling of worthlessness, Aurum Met 30X, three times a day half hour before meals.


Take the remedy which is similar to your symptoms. No side effects or complications if taken as directed, please do not exceed the given dosage and under any circumstances do not try to mix any remedies and avoid Chocolates, Mints, Coffee, Red Meat, Alcoholic and Carbonated drinks, Spicy Rich Food while taking any Homeopathic remedies, and keep the medicines away from direct sunlight, heat strong smells and perfumes and do not store them in the fridge.
Curing without any side effects or Complications Thats the Beauty of Homeopathic Medicine (Cures Par Excellence)

For more on Homeopathy and How to treat your depression please read this :- http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aqthp4Q2t0Pd4PSQZrDIMWvty6IX?qid=20070810012854AA2Q9ao&show=7#profile-info-MQKqucjdaa

Take Care and God Bless You !

Answer 7

Be a friend and listen. Sometimes all people need are a listening ear, offer to help him find help for his depression.

Answer 8

Refer him to a shrink... you should try to help. Don't try to do it yourself.... it could only become more ackward... and be careful not to bite the hand that feeds you