This old guy at my job made a move on me. Should I tell anybody?

Question

He knows I'm engaged, and he's old. He doesn't work at my job, he is a customer.

He's a good customer, and if I tell anybody I could get fired. He is my bosses best customer and friend.

Answer 1

I know it puts you in an awkward situation, but you have a right to protest that kind of behavior. Try to stay out of his way and ignore him. If he persists, then friend or no friend, you will have to tell your boss that this man is acting inappropriately, and will not stop even though you have asked him to. I assume you have asked him to, in a polite manner. If your boss fires you for trying to protect your rights and dignity, then I would file an appeal. You may need the services of an attorney to save your job in that event.

Answer 2

It would be helpful to know what exactly he did. There is a huge difference between an old man who says "sweetie how about a kiss" and one who lunges at you and tries to stick his tongue down your throat.

If the old guy's behavior falls in the former category, try to remember that things that were considered "cute" 50 years ago are considered really offensive to today's woman. Did he call you cutie or sweetie or hun or some other term that you find offensive? Did he suggest that you run away with him instead of your fiance? While this can be unpleasant, it isn't meant by an older man to be a come on.

On the other hand, if he touched you or made direct sexual references, that is a different matter. You are in an awkward spot, simply because your boss may value his custom more than he values you as a worker. However, it is important that you calmly explain to your boss...in private....exactly what the customer did AND that while you will not discuss it with the customer or make a scene, you do not want to have to serve him again.

Your boss should be aware of the very strict workplace protection and anti-harassment laws and that employers are liable for employees safety and act accordingly. If the old man simply called you "sweetie" though or made some innocuous comment, just take it in the manner it was meant from a man of his age and move on.

best wishes

Answer 3

him being your boss's best customer and friend is irrelevant. So is his age - unless he's using it to 'outrank' you.
You don't say what, if any your response was, but from what you do say (and I may be wrong here), it doesn't appear to have been welcomed by you.

If by 'making a move' you mean that he behaved inappropriately towards you, then that is certainly not ok. There are laws relating to sexual harrassment in the workplace and your employer has a duty of care to ensure that the environment in which you work is protective towards you in that unacceptable behaviour simply is not tolerated..

If you are offended, you should tell him. If you feel uncomfortable doing that you should tell someone else - preferably your line manager/someone in the human resources or personnel department where you work.

There are several issues here. If he has made you feel uncomfortable, that's enough to flag up that his behaviour is unacceptable.
Do not ever feel intimidated by someone who is a friend of the boss/a best customer or other such factor. It doesn't give anyone the right to act improperly. May be this man is still living in the past with regard to working practices (no excuse). If so, it's just as important that his behaviour is challenged, so that he gets to understand what is and is not acceptable.

Usually, the earlier these things are addressed, the better, otherwise situations can escalate and become even worse. Tell him firmly but non-aggressively that he was out of order and it must not happen again. Don't feel you have to deal with this on your own. You don't. Go to HR, speak to Citizen's Advice or its equivalent in your area. This way, you will be supported and there will be a record of the event.

Sometimes we just get it wrong or misjudge a situation. one of my girlfriends did something that started out as very funny and was aimed at her partner, who had just scrubbed up to go into theatre to operate on a patient, so was in theatre greens like his colleagues around him - it backfired and the fallout was pretty catastrophic - and she ended up with a sexual harrassment case being brought against her by someone else.

For any of you preparing to shoot me down in flames - I do not condone sexual harrassment at all.
But I did learn a lesson from my friend's experience. Deal with things quickly and calmly. Get your message across, with help preferably. Don't wait until things escalate or get ugly.
Being able to go to work and not be harrassed while you are there is a basic right. Exercise it. Good luck.

Answer 4

You cant get fired for that. Sexual harassment can involve a customer or client as well.

Tell this man very clearly NO! (not rude) but flat out (NO WAY IN...)

Document any encounters you have with him.

If it continues to be a problem tell the manager. I'm sure he does not want any legal problems of that nature even if the guy is a good customer. You have a right to be free of any every and all forms of sexual harassment in the work place.

In the break-room they should have a bulletin board stating clearly the sex harassment law.

Answer 5

No this is not precise that below the age of consent in maximum places she's nevertheless a newborn for this reason why she is harmless as little ones are harmless. confer together with her lower back while she's surely an person do no longer start up complicated the undesirable lady by ability of telling her that some old guy likes her. 15 years is a extensive hollow for her age, unlike what human beings will say age does rely while a guy or woman isn't an person yet. while she's in her 20s then the age hollow won't rely.

Answer 6

I guess it depends on what you mean by "made a move" if he made suggestive comments, ignorant as they may be, ignore them. If he physically put his hands on you then you say something. No one has the right to put their hands on you if you don't want them to.
Tell your boss you felt uncomfortable with the situation and would appreciate if he let his friend know you were not interested. If it persists then tell your boss that you will file a complaint if it's not dealt with. Sexual harassment suits are serious business these days, and they will take you seriously. A lawsuit can sink a company, if they fire you over this, then you have a claim for discrimination.
No one should feel like they have to deal with crap like that in the work place, you have the right to complain.

Answer 7

Sadly men are going to hit on you single taken or otherwise. Now if his flirting went on to be touching and other inappropriate actions, then I suggest you ask your boss to have a talk with him. Once your boss knows, he can deal Wit it on a more friendly level with his friend that should not jeopardize the relationship with the customer. Don't just sit there and not saying anything.

Answer 8

This is a time when tact and diplomacy are most critical. Since he is a customer, you need to approach him respectfully, despite your previous encounter. You need to explain the whole situation in plain terms to let him know where you stand.

"Sir, you are a good customer and we don't want to lose your business. I am flattered that you find me interesting, but I am engaged to be married. I don't want anything to jeopardize that or your business with us. Please understand."
(Walk away)
After you walk away, he will drink that in and since you didn't give him any time to respond, he will be let down just easy enough to see the error of his ways and move on.

The tough guy approach will only make an enemy and lose a good customer, which you don't really want. You can avoid the bad situation with tact and most importantly, retain your dignity and your job.

Getting upset will lose both, unfortunately.

Answer 9

I just want to say that I think Joe On Drums had a great answer.

I have used a similar speech several times with good results.

In my experience, ignoring it DOES NOT WORK -- well, okay, maybe if it was mild and happened once -- but otherwise

1. it continues
2. others can get the wrong idea
3. the work atmosphere is less dignified
4. IT CONTINUES TO BUG THE WOMAN

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”
Mahatma Gandhi

Answer 10

I would definitely tell your boss and the scumbag you are uncomfortable about it. He then has a responsibility to stop it. He's on the hook for it if not, because you made him aware and he did not stop it. Tell him in no uncertain terms that you want it to stop and there is nothing he can do to retaliate. Document everything!! You're protected by the law but only if you can back up what happened!