I was abused when I was little, how can I ever trust men again?

Question

It gets so bad that if i am left alone with a man, even a stranger, i throw up and sometime have panic attacks, even if it's a guy i trust. even if it a member of my family. please can someone help me.

Answer 1

Hi

Well done for being able to express yourself and your feelings. When we have been hurt as a child our minds suppress it until we are ready to deal with the past.

What youare suffering from sounds like PTSD, which is common for childhood abuse survivors. I would recommend seeing your doctor about this, they can advise you on what medication to take and talk about healing therapies such as counselling.

Everytime you feel like this, it is because your mind thinks all men are bad and that all men will hurt you. Having panic attacks and feeling threatened, shaking, wanting to cry is your minds way of protecting yourself.

This website is for survivors of abuse and rape and who are suffering from a mental illness. Everyone on there has been through similar experiences including myself and can relate to how you are feeling, without being judged. Feel free to take a look and join up if you feel ready.

I hope this helps and I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 2

I know what you're going through....... I cant trust men and there are very few that I do, I cant be left alone in rooms with a male even if it means skipping a detention........ I started to have panic attacks, lost my appetite and couldnt sleep and worried all the time but I just stayed strong and told myself I'd get through it and it always helps to turn to people you can talk to and trust. I am still trying to deal with it, but each day I try and look on the brighter side. I still have to look over my shoulder like every 5 minutes to see who is behind me, but I just say to myself I am just taking precautions because I know these things can happen personally but its nothing to worry about its just the way things are after terrible things like that happen........ Dont stress to much... Be strong.

Answer 3

Hi hon.

I was also abused by men when i was growing up.

I have post traumatic stress disorder which has been treated by doctors and therapy for years. I'm doing much better now, thanks to consistent work on my part.

I think that when we have issues such as these, they cause deep emotional scars. The best thing you can do for yourself is TALK about it and get it OUT... i suggest a therapist.

It has taken you years to get to this point, and it's not healthy for you. It is going to take some work for you to start to recover.

We really have to face our pain and issues in therapy. It's hard, but it helps...

I found a website below which may be of some help, too. You can do a Yahoo search for SURVIVORS OF ABUSE, COPING WITH AN ABUSIVE PAST etc. There is a lot of information for help on line, and good advice, too.

I wish you all the best. take care of YOU

Answer 4

It's incredible the number of women (and men) who were abused as children. Abuse takes many forms, and I assume you're concerned with sexual abuse, as opposed to verbal, emotional, or other types of physical abuse. The most important way to overcome sexual abuse is to take advantage of talk-therapy. Look for a therapist (female) with expertise in child abuse issues, and go as often and for as long as you can. These issues are not easy to overcome, and you may even have episodes of depression and some Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in the mix. An evaluation by a mental health professional is a good way to start. You can do it..... I did.

Answer 5

think about why it bothers you so much. why do you choose to have an emotional or maybe even physical reaction to all men? ask yourself why you feel this way and what you can do to help yourself trust other men. i know it must be really hard for you but the past is past, you can choose to trust other men or you can choose to not. although it probably won't be easy, if you really explore it, and even think about the worst of it, it may go away.
humans are meaning makers. we put meaning onto things that people have done or said. we may even blame ourselves because of what other people did. it is not that we aren't somewhat responsible or may have even contributed to why the person would want to do that, but you still need to look at how it makes you feel and why.
do you really beleive that all men are this way? what makes you think that? how can you know?



thanks for reading this, if you comment back again i'll write back. i hope you understand!



with love,

Answer 6

See panic attacks, and sexual abuse:minors, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris on pages 8, and 20. Visit a doctor, and ask for a referral.

Answer 7

that always happend to me but now i like men trust me they are not going to do anything to you all the men i know are nice so most men are nice and they wont hurt you or anything

Answer 8

i know how you feel. i felt suicidal... well, ok, i still do, but i ended up in hospital. they got me in touch with local support programs and qualified councellers, it has helped me so much, i can only advise you do the same!

Answer 9

I wouldn't advise it. My son knows from experience sex abuse is what controls this world.

Answer 10

i've been wherein u r now. u r most of the time like me & believe like everthing dangerous that occurs is ur fault. that u had been @ fault four being abused. i've been in remedy four many, a long time. it is helping two speak two a few one million who does not pass judgement on or blame u. u did not anything incorrect. the character that abused u is the one one million @ fault. for that reason of my three abusers consistently telling me i used to be dangerous & no well i got here two b-lieve them. they destroyed my believe, self -valued at. self worth, & each and every factor that men and women who were not abused take four granted. it took me approach two many yrs. two inform, thereby, giving them an possibility two permit them two select extra sufferers. that wasn't my fault. while u r a youngster, & so much in general, an grownup tells u two do some thing, although it makes u believe dangerous, u do it. that is how we had been raised two constantly exhibit recognize four ur elders. they used threats, & infantile fears two purchase my silence. u r now not two blame four any of this. i encourage u two please get support, & inform a few one million what this character did two u. uncover a well therapist in ur field, & make an appointment two begin placing ur lifestyles again two-gether. that approach u win. holiday the silence, & finish the abuse cycle. do not permit their unsightly,twisted deed b-come ur legacy. do the whole thing u can two support ur-self. i do know logically that i t wasn't my fault, that i used to be only a youngster, however that does not reduce the guilt i've lived w/ four such a lot of yrs. alongside w/ the guilt comes the "broken items syndrome". i constantly feel if men and women knew the "truly" me they could b disgusted & now not desire two b round me. for that reason of the abuse i've p.t.s.d. and quite a lot of different intellectual/ emotional disorders. nevertheless, i'm in remedy, getting support, & making an attempt two placed the beyond in the back of me. u can two. the first step is two admit two ur-self that u each desire & want support. inform a few one million u believe what this character did two u. they darn close destroyed my lifestyles. i nonetheless are living in worry generally. it does get higher,u want two b-lieve that. u did not anything incorrect. there might b a statute of boundaries four sexual abuse wherein u are living,i am not definite. nevertheless, although this character isn't arrested or prosecuted u could have the peace of brain understanding that others will watch their kids round this character. he'll not win! i used the COURAGE two HEAL workbook. it's high-quality. nevertheless, if u select two use this instrument i could endorse u two use it in a theraputic atmosphere as ur emotions can b-come very overwhelming, & u might want two have a few one million two support "re-floor" u two the right here & now. i additionally magazine which is able to b very cathartic. do not censor ur-self simply permit all of it out. no-one million else has two c what u wrote. a further factor i did was once write my abusers letters,(U DON'T NEED two SEND OR GIVE THEM two HIM), allow them to realize precisely what u feel of them. while u r completed learn what u wrote, & smash them. tear them up, shred them, or burn them. some thing, it takes two make u believe higher. by means of getting support u r re-taking manage of ur lifestyles. it obtained so dangerous @ one million factor that i recommended w/ a clergyman b-intent i felt two soiled & unworthy two b in GOD'S presence. he made me c that GOD did not believe that approach approximately me. it was once all in my possess brain. i'm discovering my long ago two GOD, & that has helped me. i could desire that a few day u will uncover a distinguished guy, sure there r a few well one million's available in the market, get married & have a best lifestyles. trusting any one million exceptionally guys is difficult two do. i b-come suspicious while men and women r two first-rate two me & marvel what they desire. like each and every one million has an ulterior rationale. which isn't precise. i could like two say i would not have dangerous days any longer, however i would possibly not lie two u. recuperation is a sluggish approach. u r not a sufferer! u r a SURVIVOR!!! u went by way of one million of essentially the most terrible matters a character can undergo, & u obtained by way of it. there r many days, two many, wherein i'm afraid two depart my condominium, however i'm operating on that. it took alongside time four me two permit any guy near, but if i eventually did it was once valued at the difficult paintings. now not all guys r abusive. there r many well one million's left available in the market who get a bum rap b-intent a few one million selected two b an abuser. sexual assult isn't approximately love or worrying, it's approximately vigour. the abusers as a rule select out a "sufferer" that they may be able to manage. exhibit him he not controls u by means of telling a few one million, & much more importantly, get ur-self the support u want two are living a distinguished, effective lifestyles. by means of displaying him that he did not & could not smash u as a character he'll get the message loud & transparent that U ,now not him, r successful. u deserve the nice lifestyles has two present. might GOD bless & preserve u reliable in HIS loving hands. i pray u uncover some way two heal, & it'll take time. b first-rate two ur-self. i b-got here my possess worst enemy. constantly placing myself down, & feeling like i did not deserve any factor well in my lifestyles. i do know that is now not precise, however this can be a steady battle two have constructive ideas, exceptionally while u r so well @ being imply two ur-self. u do not want any one million else two say or deal with u badly, u do exactly nice doing that by means of ur-self. u sound like a candy character who has been very harm & dis-illussioned by means of lifestyles. appear four the positives approximately ur-self. make a dependancy out of claiming @ least one million first-rate factor approximately ur-self everyday. u do not also have two b-lieve it while u 1st say it, so long as u take a look at two consider it the following time. u r a beneficial character. u r a survivor, & i want u the entire nice on ur travel two a higher lifestyles. begin by means of trusting one million guy, finally u will realize instinctively in the event that they r secure. God bless u. might u uncover the peace & happiness u deserve. the first step is constantly the toughest. take youngster steps & u will make it. AFTER ALL U R A SURVIVOR , u r not a sufferer !!!