How did the very beginning of your marriage go?

Question

Lots of people tell me that it's real hard getting adjusted.

Answer 1

Not for me - the beginning, as I look back - seems great - the so called "salad days" when we were so in love, and could face all obstacles together & nothing mattered but each other. Enjoy this time. It's ten years down the road that's hard, hun...

Answer 2

It was awesome! I was 28 when we got married, hadn't been married before, no kids. It was exciting and fun to live together after we got married! For me, personally though, it may sound funny but I had a hard time adjusting to having a man in my bed! Honestly, for like three months, it was difficult for me. Not the cuddling, etc. - lol - but the sleeping part. He is a cuddler, and would love to be entwined all night. So with time, I just got used to it, then when we have been apart, it's hard to sleep without him!
Personality wise, we had been dating two years after knowing each other a year, so knew each other really well. It was just getting used to things generally, then. We also had it a little harder, because for the first two years, I was working late afternoons into evenings 3 to 9:30, and he was working from 6 a.m. So that part made it tough..
But all was wonderful, and each year has just gotten better and better!

Answer 3

It's always different for everyone. I just got married this past June and marriage has not been too much of an adjustment. My husband and I dated for about 5 years before getting married. Shortly after the wedding, I moved across the country, away from my family, friends and the life I knew ...to be with him. Oddly enough, even with all the changes, I feel happy to be with him and so much more in love with him than ever before. Everyone always talks about how hard the adjustment is. It just hasn't been dramatic or difficult for me.

Answer 4

i moved in with my husband in January and we got married in April. honestly, being married took a lot less adjustment than moving in together did. moving in together was...interesting. we had to get used to each other's bathroom habits, figure out who would do which chores, etc. getting married the hardest part was calling him my husband instead of boyfriend or fiance. I can see that if you do both at the same time it can be really trying.

but really, as long as you are able to keep in mind WHY you married him, any fights over the fact that he should slean the sink after he shaves or whatever will fade away. and while you may feel the expectation to be different now that you're married than you were when you were engaged, DON'T fall into that. you're both the same people as you were when you dated, it's just offical now.

Answer 5

It was good from the start (so why the divorce 22 years later) numerous eventa added to this tragic time, but to answer your question, my husband and I did great from the very beginning. Now we did have the advantage of having been engaged for two years and lived together the entire length of law school (heck if two people can make it through the stress of law school they ought to be able to handle anything, LOL) Nothing realy changed, nothiing was dramatically different, except we moved from School across country to the beach to begin studying for the bar. We thought we were that one couple th at nothing could ever come between. One of the advantages of living together , and I am sure I will get losts of opposition to this, is that we were afforded the opportunity to reallly get to know one another, at our best and worst. We learned early on each others habits that drove us crazy and those endearing to us. It is not "PLAYING HOUSE" i do not believe in the old " why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free!" we were in love, we knew we were going to marry but we chose to wait till we graduated law school. In the meantime, money was tight. we were not working so we could concentrate on our grades (we attended Law school in ASnn Arbor, Universsity of MI. and believe me when they say it is neck -n- neck with Harvard, the curriculiam is tough, nopt a place to play around. I am not sure we would have made it had wwe been forced by overly conservative parents to live in sepaerate apartments etc. I mean what is the point. We had the blessing of only having to pay one rent, we shared one car, hallf the bills etc. we were saving for our future and I am glad for the sake of our kids we did it the way we did. Other couples who have families who strictly forbid living together prior to marriage, don't they know that they majority of those couples spend 99% of the time at one of the other's place anyway, the only difference is they pay two mortgages, or rent etc.

i am not suggesting that livign together is for everyone, certainly not casual daters, but we both new we were gettign married. we dated off and on druing college (breaking up for the sole reason that neither one wanted the other to wake up one day and resent the other or feel like they missed out on something, but it never lasted long, we were rightback together. we never questioned that we would marry. we have beautifull kids and unfortunatley the death of a child caused us to grow distant about 8 years ago. we should have sought counseling but we each retrereated from the other instead of leaning on the other, we grew apart.

The one good thing we did 6 weeks before the wedding, we just graduated law school and I moved home to New Orleans and lived with my parents and other than one visit to finalize the arrangements we did not see each other and that visit, i did not even allow him to sleep in a different room at parents home, sent him to my little brothers house, so when we married it really was like being together for the first time. we were so young, i remember my favorite part was on oour honeymoon referring to my 23 year old sweetie as my husband, it had such a special ring to it,

so we did not have a hard time getting adjusted. on the other hand i am about to remarry, since both my fiance and i have young kids we do not live together, i can already anticipate the awwkward adjustment. he is so used to certain blah bachelor furniture while i love a mix of antiques, contemporary etc. i love bright apple green, mango and other bold colors and he is a nuetral beige kind of man true and true. he is tidy i am a mess, he is timely i am habitually late. he isjewish i am not, but we willl make it because that is what marriage and love are all about, changes, compromises, and most importantly adjustments

Answer 6

Mine went like clockwork, and we're still keeping time......

Yes, some marriages are difficult at first. It's hard to adjust to another person's schedule, personality, habits, likes and dislikes, but in time it will work out if both parties compromise and have respect for one another, as well as the love that brought them together in the first place.

Answer 7

Adjusting to married life isn't hard at all. You have to keep an open mind at all times.
Remember that it's not all about just you anymore, it's about the "TWO" of you. As long as you work together it will be ok.

Answer 8

We didn't have any trouble adjusting. I think it depends on how independent you both are before you're married. But overall, how you interact married is usually pretty similar to how you interact while you're engaged. It's good to plan (and stick to!) a budget before you're married (money is one of the biggest causes of marriage problems), and also to decide before hand who will do what around the house, etc. My husband and I attended a few premarital counseling sessions before the wedding, and it helped address and issues that might arise before hand. Good luck and God bless!

Answer 9

witch one?i hear that much more than half fail.hard work and communication.there are hard times and good times.you made a commitment(your word)stick to it especially if you have children.i dont mean to be a hyprocrite my first wife could not keep her hands to herself.after the second time i was done.now i only see my 3 children 2 times a month.my second time around was like hitting the lottery.good luck

Answer 10

Mine was great but I think it has to do with your age/maturity and your past living arrangements. I married and my wife came right out of her fathers house into mine and had never lived on her own. I think people who have lived on their own have a tougher time because they already have a 'Set' way of keeping their home, schedule, etc. I've heard the first year is the hardest but that wasn't the case for me.