I don't want to move my children to another school?

Question

To parents out there; We have just moved and my childrens' old school is at least 40 minutes away. I tried the first week to get them up and ready in time but it is really stressful for all of us.
In addition, there is a middle school and a primary school right across the street from us, literally. We went to see these schools yesterday and they seem ok. However, I feel like a terrible parent taking my kids away from all their friends.
Because I'm in academics, we have moved several times over the last 12 years. The longest my eldest daughter has stayed at a school is 3 years.
I wonder how this will affect my children, especially my eldest daughter. However, I just cannot imagine making the 45 minute trek every morning. Across the street would be so much easier and less stressful. What would you do?

Answer 1

Put them in the school across the street. Sure it might be better for them to have some roots and not move so much, but that is the situation, they need to adapt. Look at it this way, they will be much more well rounded, and skilled at finding more friends then the average child. Don't worry so much, and don't give them a reason to think your doing them a disservice.
Good Luck

Answer 2

Before you make your choice, go and look at the school they want to send him to. Most of the posters are correct that under IDEA, services *should* be provided by the normal school. However, there are some cases where that school just cannot provide the services or environment that the child needs to thrive. My son has autism with some nasty bi-polar features. The school tried for a year and a half to do everything they could to make accomidations, but he was still acting out in school. Finally, near Easter of his 7th grade year, they asked to transfer him to a charter school. This charter school is for kids with legal or emotional issues. The biggest class he has been in is 5 or 6 kids plus him ( with a teacher and an aide). They do behavior checks every 30-45 minutes and send a report home every afternoon. They have therapists on staff to talk over emotional issues, and they have the certification needed to restrain if the situation warrants it. The only reason they would call me is if he was raging too bad to put on the bus. In my son's case, I think it was a good call to pull him out of mainstream school and put him in this school. He was there from right after easter through the end of last year. He started this school year there, and is trying to go back to his home school soon. It very well might happen before Christmas. He has had no issues with acts of aggression since he switched schools. His first psychiatrist wanted to put him in a different school. I got info from the school, and all those kids were working on things like sitting still for 90 seconds at a time, and tying thier shoes, and brushing their teeth. It was obvious that my child would be the highest functioning in the school, so I declined.

Answer 3

How do they feel about it? Are they really really really insistent on staying where they are? Is there a bus service or other parent etc..that can take them all or some of the way to school until the year is finished at least?
If you sat down with your kids and explained the situation to them are they really agressive about it or a bit nochalant?

I would probably put them in the new school after speaking to them individually about it. I would also really research the bus situation to see if that was a viable option. Make sure they understand your reluctance to do this too but assure them that it will all be fine in the long term.
Maybe consider a trial period of 2-3mths and if they are still hating it, haven't fit in or made new friends, regressing etc...then re-evaluate. I'm sure by this time they will be fine and will have made new friends.

The only thing that would make me not move schools was if the child was doing the last year of school or studying for major exams and the move may disrupt their study pattern.

Best of luck deciding what to do.

Answer 4

I'd put them in the school across the street.

The kids aren't going to like being in a different school but after a while they'll be okay. They'll have somebody on a daily basis to play with outside of school rather than friends that are too far away to be with.

Besides, I'm not sure your budget can really afford that trip everyday. You'll probably be filling up the car 3 times a week.

Answer 5

It depends on the nature of your children and only you would know that.
My son is intelligent but social skills arent his strongest point. For that reason I have decided to keep my kids at the same school from wo to go. However my 2nd child is an extrovert and loves to meet new people so she would love to go to a new school.
Take a good look at your kids. Are they up to it? We can advise you, but you are the one who knows them. I think primary school is okay to move kids, but once they get to high school you may want to rethink and try to settle for a few years so they can 'put down roots' so to speak.
Ask them. Explain the situation and give them a voice in the situation.
Explain to them about after school sports. How much easier it will be for them to do things after school. If you have to commute after-school activities will be curtailed surely.
You asked what I would do - I would evaluate. I would talk to my kids about it. Hear what they have to say. I would try REALLY HARD so they get to complete high school at the same school.
All the best to you and your family

Answer 6

Kids are extremely resilient. There are many parents that need to move for whatever reason and don't think twice about how their children feel and how upset the move would be for them--so kudos for you! But sometimes the effort to keep them happy is really not best for the family. I've known many kids who were toted around because they were military brats to the "I have never been out of (insert small town name)". Each one stated a "grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" story. Surprisingly, my friends that have moved around alot are mixed in their reactions to moving. Predominanatly- they are grew up well adjusted and always prepared. They enjoyed the challenge of meeting new friends and learning about their own surroundings.
In short--I would transfer you children to thier new school so that they can make friends in thier new neighborhood.

Good luck with you decision!

Answer 7

My kids were born in 84.85, and 88 we moved from MA. to So. Fla. in 91 and my kids did just fine. When we moved back to MA in 99 my daughter who was 13 was devastated. She did not want to leave at all. About seven months later while walking through the mall with my wife she turned and looked at her and said "thank you so much for moving us back here". It's a tough thing to do but you have too. Get them in now while the school year is still new!

Answer 8

your kids will be well rounded and stuff by moving and see new parts of the country and being fine. you are worrying about nothing. yes the last 4 years should be in one place but this is great they will meet all kinds of people and learn different things and make new friends that is how you bring it to them with great face not unhappy faces and then they will be the same way all the time. take care.

Answer 9

I'd move them, kids adjust well. They will also have a better opportunity to make friends in their new neighborhood if they are going to the local school.

My eldest is eleven, and we've moved a lot for work ourselves. The last move was late last year, and my eldest fit in to her new school with no problem, she loves it.

Answer 10

it's a life change for them..Register them across the street and they can still see their fiends on weekend, phone calls play date..
etc... You should know this will be a good thing for them.. don't beat your self up over it..it builds social skills and they will make new friends.