how do you keep from insulting a mothers kids?

Question

ok so my dad had some friends over at our beach house for the weekend and her kid who is a complete brat.. so she told him to go watch Denis the mence on TV to see how michevious and naughty he acts and I was this close to saying " Billy makes Dennis look like a perfect little Angel."
man the kid has no respect for anyone. his parents complain how their cellphone battery goes down fast cause he plays games on it, and hes only 3 he dosent know what hes doing because he deletes files. When his parents talk to him he just says no and the mother sighs and walks off and thats it. When he hits his older brother his dad tells him not to and he just runs after his dad and goes to hit him.

He threatens to shoot and punch people. when everyone was watching t he stood infront of the tv. then when I said to move so we could see the tv baby. he says "im doing something!" nd won't move.

Hes only 3 and i think if his parents keep this up hes not going to grow out of it. his parents need to

get more strict with him. another time after they went to bathe in the see he came in the house and didnt go pu on some clothes he just sat there wearing nothing but a towel and everyone told him to go put on some clothes all he did was so no so i turned the tv off and he started crying so i turned it off.

Answer 1

It's really typical parenting these days. They let their children run all over them.

If they don't get him under control now, him saying "no" will be the least of their problems when he gets a little older. It will turn to "Eff you, b****!"
something like that.

I've seen it happen.
The parents still walk away then.
My friend, apparently, says that (and other bad things) to his mother all the time. She doesn't do anything. Just "walks away". and he's almost 21, still acting like a spoiled little brat.

Answer 2

I love what kerrisonr had to say, especially with putting the disciplining of the child back on the parents. Basically, I look at it the exact same way using a 4-step ideology:
1) Define the situation. i.e. "While the TV is being watched"
2) Set parameters. i.e. "Do not stand in front of the TV"
3) Establish consequences for not abiding by set parameters. i.e. "You will have 3 minutes in the time-out chair"
4) STICK TO RULES 1-3!

The one thing that isn't being mentioned here is the time it will take and the patience that will be necessary for the child to understand that behavior has consequences! When a kid asks for something and the parent/adult says no, if that child thinks (even for just a tiny moment) that they can get the parent/adult to say yes, then the child will pull out all the stops to get the 'yes' they are aiming for. Once the child gets that very first 'yes,' they've learned techniques and skills that they can use to do the same thing the next time 'no' is the answer. It might take 2-3 hours to get this little tot to sit in the time-out chair for five solid minutes, but he will understand that the next time the time-out chair is used as consequence, he will consider his actions a bit more. Over time, the child will know what the consequence is, how much he hates it, and what to do to avoid be disciplined.

On a lighter note - Tivo/DVR/record on VHS the show "Super Nanny." JoJo's techniques go a long way in laying down the basic ideas of a respectful relationship and apply to most any people in any situation. Her insights constantly encourage me to step back and reevaluate myself, situations, and others. Afterwards, I usually understand things better and, in turn, handle them better.

I do hope that you find the answers you need.

Answer 3

The parents seriously need to control there child. At 3 hes already talking back. If you are close with your dads friends then you need to talk to them, let them know that spankings are okay. Smack his hand when hes grabbing things hes not suppose to and have them get face to face with the child and in a steern voice let the child know what hes doing is wrong. IF they dont control the situation now, then there not ever going to be able to control it. It also sounds like the child at 3 has an anger problem with the threats to shoot and punch people. Hes got to be learing this from somewhere, etiher other people or t.v. and that needs to stop or he will be a big time problem child and a problem to society.

Answer 4

Typical passive parenting, I think.

When kids cry, some parents do whatever they can just to make the crying stop. Unfortunately, this usually caves to the kid's demands and then reinforces the crying/tantrum behavior.

*shrug* Its a vicious cycle. The parents HAVE to be willing to put their foot down.

If these people are guests in your home, then you DO have the right to put YOUR foot down.

"When you visit our house, Billy, there are rules you have to follow. If you don't follow them, then there is punishment."

And you set up a 'time out chair' in the corner. (how many of us lived after sitting with our noses in the corner? Its not THAT bad!)

And when the child won't obey? "Ok, I will ask you one more time, and if you don't do as I ask, you're going to sit in the time out chair for 3 minutes."

And guess what-- one of two things will happen.
1) The parents will either say "Don't parent my child" and then you say "Then YOU parent your child!!Or we'll have to call it a night and you'll have to take him home."
2) The parents will notice how wonderfully that works and will start doing it at home and the problem will dissapear!!

Answer 5

You keep from insulting the mother's kids (in this case) by talking to the parents. If you must say anything, the parents are the ones that can change the child's behaviour. They are with the kid more than you.
And they were over for the week end, then you should not have to worry any more.

Answer 6

Well that was rude. She has not right to make fun of another woman's child's name. Corinthia, let me just say, horrible. Javen is the same. And Dean sounds like someone from New York working in a mechanics shop. Your kids names are great. Love the name Cassandra, same with Drake. Take that b i t c h outside next time. (if there is a next time)

Answer 7

Sounds like the type of child who will get expelled from pre school and several times later. If you are in charge of him be firm. Don't yell at him but you can talk to him, and he is standing in front of a tv you can just talk to him and if he doesn't move pick him up. If you can't handle him and his parents become frequent guests talk to your father or mother about it. You can even take videos of the little brat.

Answer 8

I think the parents need to get the kid off the Video games and off the TV

Answer 9

does the older brother act this way also? Sounds like the boy will end up harming his parents and anyone else that wil not allow him to have his way in life. His parents fault and let them live with it. Myself I would set his little bottom on fire everytime he acts up or says something stupid or threatening.

Answer 10

i see it so often and these kids aren't happy and whent hey are older they will have no respect for parents or anyone and i have seen it in my grandkids. its sad but hey what can one do. you can't do something in one day by turning off the tv its sad. so am not sure what is right but hes need to be taught and hes not what can you tell them.