my parents are confusing me...help?

Question

my parents are way too over controling of me. i know, teens tend to say this alot (i'm 15 btw), but this time i'm dead serious. here's the real shocker about my parents: they WON'T even let me have a JOB!! believe it or not, i WANT a job and they won't let me have one! the confusing part about it, is that they use that whole 'not having a job' thing against me. example: 'you can start buying your own clothes when you get a job', and i just say 'um....i want a job!' and they're just like 'just drop it.'. wtf?? but besides not letting me have a job, they won't let me date anyone 17 or older, and i HATE dating younger guys. so basically my range is 15-16. the weird part about it, they said that if i'm dating a guy and he turns 17 while we're dating i have to break up with him! that's screwed up! oh and also another stupid rule i just found out from them, i can't borrow my friend's clothes. ???. how are you going to make that a rule?

Well neways what I’m trying to ask is is there any way I can change my parents minds? ESPECIALLY about getting a job!? Because honestly, that’s what I want most. And the law where I live is that you can get a job at age 14, so obviously it’s not the age they’re worried about. If you could just give me some advice on this I would greatly appreciate it! Au revoir!

for all of you asking about the 'maybe it's a school issue?', no it can't be that. i'm an A/B student at most, and i don't hardly ever slack off. Also, for the woman who stated that i'm a whiny, spoiled, 15 yo, i take extreme offense to that. i'm NOT spoiled and i'm really not that whiny, so please keep comments like that to yourself because you're not doing yourself any favors by dissing a 'child' (as most of you would call me).

Answer 1

First of all, it is actually 18 and over! They are really CHEATING you one year off from the actual age difference! That in itself is RIDICULOUS! No job!? Just wait until they find out who is going to pay for the Nissan 350Z and Gucci bag that you want! You should be able to borrow clothes because that is part of being friends! You tell them that! You go girl! =<)

Answer 2

Well since no one else reads the question fully I'll awnser it. Umm well I also live in a state where the age limit to get a job is 14 and I'm 15. But anyways my mom tells me the same ****. They always tell me to just get a job. But maybe you should just sit them down and have a one on one conversation with each of them one at a time. If you can convince on of them first it'll be easier to convince the next because the second one will just be like did you ask so and so and you'll say "Yeah I did and he/she said sure and go for it." Or you could go behind there backs and get some applications to places to work and fill them out and turn them in. Then if you get the job. Tell them that "hey it's my first day at work gotta go and run".

Answer 3

Perhaps they're afraid you're not responcible enough to hold down a steady job? I found out the hard way that I wasn't mature enough for one, and when I had to put my first real resume together, I was ashamed of putting my first job on there (that I was at for a week before I dropped it).

I'm not saying you're not responcible, just that they probably think that. Alot of parents think that about their kids when they hit ages 13 - 16.

Have you tried really sitting down and asking (without attitude, sarcasm, or raised voices) if that may be the case? Or what you can do to prove your responciblity level to them? Try that, perhaps that will help.

Besides that, in about three years you'll be out from under their roof. Best to, no matter what they say, abide by their rules and respect them. It makes things alot easier later.

Answer 4

It sounds like your parents are overreacting about everything except the not dating guys over 17. In that respect, they just want to keep you safe. Technically you shouldn't be dating guys 2 years older than you anyways. But for the other things, sit down and have a talk with your parents about how they aren't being reasonable. Whatever you do though, don't yell and say "you don't understand!" or anything. They'll respect you more if you are mature about it.

Answer 5

Consider yourself lucky that you're allowed to date at all.

And that you don't have to get a job to help support your family.

As far as borrowing clothes, it's probably because they were clothes that you knew they wouldn't let you buy/wear if they were yours.
You're acting a bit whiny and spoiled. On the other hand, you're 15, so that's pretty normal, too.

Answer 6

Tell your parents that the law says you are old enough for a job. Your parents keep making and changing (clarifying?) rules. A law is a public rule that must be obeyed. Insisting that they must allow you to have a job, will, I hope, cause all your other problems, even with your parents, to be solved.

Answer 7

Ew why would you want to date someone who is over 16? That's gross. Just deal with it, plus a lot of 15 year olds don't get hired anyhow. Jobs prefer at least for you to be 16.


You will live, and you won't live with your parents forever.

Answer 8

Whelp you neeed to be 16 to get a job. Also your parents are probabl;y being overpretective as you said (kinda like mine) you need to come up with a way to show your parents that ur responsible (aka doing a chore or something like that) SO THEY CAN TRUST YOU sry caps locks

Answer 9

maybe its a school thing with your parents?are you doing the best that you can?are you doing well in school?how about your attitude?how about chores at home?do you do any?maybe if you can prove that you are adult enough to handle a job without it hurting your school work or chores or attitude?so maybe you make a deal, with them?tell them this is something you really want, and you'll quit fussing about all the other rules, your not looking to date at this young age anyways, right??so make a deal, make it a signed deal!!!!!!!!!do your best at home and at school, you'll find out that a little comprise can help, good luck my dear, hope it works??

Answer 10

lol. im 15 too n my parents feel really strong about me getitn a job. well maybe dey jus wanna protect u, but sometiems u shud jus tell dem dat u not dat yung lil niave girl no more. tell dem to let u try urself out der in da real world. n da bf thingy.. yeah my parents too..but dat doznt really stop me.. well my mom's more understanding on it.. how about try talkin to ur mom n dig down to her past n mak her reminise dos things, maybe she'll b mroe understanding. anyway. can u help em out wit My problem? yes plz n ddank u!