Greiving for a dog?

Question

I have just lost my very best friend, my dog. I never imagined the grief would be so bad. I feel lost, empty, and miss her all day, although she was so ill, I still feel guilt to agreeing to her being put to sleep. No one seems to understand! Just wondered if I'm really crazy, or if anyone else feels like their world has ended, because of the loss of their dog.
Thanks xx

Can I just already say a MASSIVE thankyou for the replies so far. Kizzy was my absolute reason for staying in
this world. In the past year, I have lost my husband, and my son. Kizzy was my life, and her lovely hugs n kisses, and dedication to me, got my girls and myself through all this, I am so relieved that others feel the same. My house is silent, coming downstairs is horrible, as she isn't there. Dinner is horrible, again, she is there, waiting for HER dinner, BED, she isn't there. I am probably going to get loads of ridicule, but, I am heartbroken, and don't know what to do.

Answer 1

You are far from crazy. Anyone who says you are, just doesn't understand. Our pets become our children to us. They are there for us with wagging tails and plenty of love and affection when we get home. They have unconditional love for us, so of course, we return that love to them and when they leave it, we're left with an empty hole. I don't know what I would do without my baby girl and just reading your story brought tears to my eyes and I feel your pain.

Here is a little something I wanted to share with you, I'm not sure if anyone else posted it or if you have read it, but it's really sweet and maybe it will help a little:

Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...


I am deeply sorry for your loss. I wish there was something more I could do.

Answer 2

Everyone has said it all so well, it is the most natural thing in the world to feel such grief, it wasn't 'just a dog' as so many uncaring people say, it was your friend, your confidante, your companion. When it is a human who has passed over, no-one tells you to pull yourself together, well this was your best friend and the heartbreak is still as deep and painful.

The saying 'time heals' is such an awful cliche, but it is true, with each passing day you will gradually, little by little, be able to remember things about Kizzy with a smile instead of tears. Try to use the happy memories to remember what an absolutely wonderful life she had with you and how fortunate you both were to have found each other.

I mailed you also with a site which may be invaluable for you, I know it was for me when I lost my beautiful girl. One thing I did do was to get a collection of photographs together and I found an artist who did the most wonderful charcoal drawing of my girl, I also planted a beautiful rose bush in my garden for her.

I do hope you find some little grain of comfort in the wonderful answers and poems people have given on this post.

Answer 3

Our cats and dogs become our children. The loss is emotionally very difficult. When you have to put a dog down because it's so ill and in pain, it feels terrible, but it was the kindest thing you could have done.

No new dog or cat will ever replace the one you lost, but a new one can help you through your mourning. So, if you get a new pet, don't think of it as a replacement because it won't be. One of my friends lost a rescue dog she got to fill the empty space left in her heart by her recently lost dalmation. Today she got a new pup and she says it is helping her and her other dog to deal with the loss of the dalmation which was compounded by the loss of the dog she rescued.

Some people are so traumatized by the loss of their beloved dog that they just can't handle having another for a long time. For others, it speeds the healing process. Only you know which is right for you.

It's like losing your children... no new child will replace the one you loved and lost, as each of your children has a separate and equal part of your life and your love. When your dog dies, it goes to the rainbow bridge. When your time comes to pass over, your beloved dog will be there waiting for you.

My own dog died of intussusception while being treated for worms. It was a horrible shock.

Use the links to the rainbow bridge to help you with your mourning.
Read the poem(s) and look at the support they offer.

Answer 4

Well I for one will not ridicule you. As a full grown man, I have had to wipe a tear from my eye, as I read your sad question. Unfortunately I cannot offer much advise, just support, time is a great healer, and try to remember all the good times she gave you, and you her. I have lost a few lovely dogs through old age, or illness in the past, and I felt as though I had lost a close family member, which,indeed I had. Cry as much as you like, have a glass of wine, and give yourself a pat on the back, you gave her a good life, (and a good ending) you didn't allow her to suffer.Maybe in time you might think of giving your love to another doggy. Visit the local rescue shelter, and see which dog is in most need of some T.L.C.You could be doing each other a favour.Ahhhhhhhhhh I wish I could give you a hug.

Answer 5

You are grieving and i would be the same. I would suggest yo get another dog of the same breed, wither a puppy or a rescue. This will really ease the pain... You'll start to laugh and compare... oh Kizzy would never do that and arrr Kizzy used to do that. You will come to to terms with your loss and we all know that time is a great healer. I am dreading the day that this happens to me. Good luck and i hope you do choose a nice new companion for you and your daughters (we know how much joy our 4 legged fury little friends give us ) x

Answer 6

I understand.. I have lost my very best friend in the whole world.. My soulmate.. The pain was worse than anything you can imagine..I cried til I thought I could cry no more.. and I cried more.. I felt lost and empty and very very alone.. I felt like my guardian angel had died.. I felt the guilt of having to finally have her put to sleep, wondering ' what if ' could I have done more, should I wait, what if we tried this ... What if they were wrong..

Then I vowed NEVER to love another dog like I loved her.. It hurt too bad.. My heart was broken.. No more loving dogs so much that it makes you wish you could have traded places with them.. Just so you don't have to feel that pain when they die..

Then one day I realized I was missing out on all that love.. And I realized that I was in love again.. I decided that the love you get and the enjoyment you get from loving a dog really does outweigh the heartbreak when they die.. Your heart does mend, you have lost a tiny piece, they take a piece of your heart when they die.. But you get to feel that love all over again... You will have go feel that heart break again but the heartbreak does heal and you will feel better.. Even if you feel like it will not get better, it really really will.. It takes a while but it really does go away.. You never do forget them, but you do stop crying and you do feel better..

Answer 7

Dear SammyJay I'm so terribly sorry for your loss.

You are not crazy my friend. It rips me apart each time I have to do this even though over the last 4 years I have had to do it several times. I actually see myself as lucky that for so many years the Lord always took my babies when it was time even though I have had a lot. However much it hurts when they go on their own euthanasia always leaves so many feelings of guilt even though it IS the right thing to do when the time is right.

When you love an animal with all of your heart the way you obviously do the pain goes so very deep it feels as if the world has stopped turning and nothing will ever be the same again.

I lost what I call "my heart dog" Missy on June 25 2003. We had fought for just over 2 months to help her with kidney faliur. In the end there was no other option. She was starting to have seizures and was liturally starving to death. I had to take her pain because I loved her too much to let her go on that way.

For several weeks I felt as if I had murdered my best friend. I could not eat, sleep and made myself really ill. I would be walking through a store or driving down the road and just be so consumed with guilt I would be crying hysterically.

Now just over 4 years later I still have a few "Missy Moments" (I'm having one right now.) I cry and miss her so very much, but now the guilt has gone. I know in my heart I did the right thing for her. My only regret is that I did not keep a clipping of her fur for her memory book, but as far as everything else goes I know I did everything I could to give her the best life possible and when that was no longer possible I did the most humane thing I could do to end her suffering. My friend you have done the same for your beloved friend. In time you will know this too.

Time really does help ease the pain, but I really don;t think it will ever completely heal it. To me when you love someone or something that much a little of the pain will always stay. That's actually a good thing because when the pain totally goes I would think I have forgotten her. I know with all of my heart and soul that as long as we remember them they never really die.

Just try to think of your beloved dog as being young and healthy again and totally free of pain and all of the problems she had at the end. Maybe she and Missy are running together in those lush green fields at the Rainbow Bridge. I do hope so. Even if they are not I know both are as happy and healthy as they could ever be. We WILL see them again one day.

I am holding you in my heart and prayers at this very difficult time. I really wish there was so much more I could do.

Answer 8

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, I would like to add my condolences to this long list.
I too lost my dog this year, she was 13 and absolutely perfect, she had no vices and I love her so much.
I too felt guilty when she died but I knew she wasn't happy. She had too much wrong with her.
You're definately not crazy but a caring loving person.
just remember the good times and the unique bond you had. in time you may feel like giving a home to another dog and life will have a meaning again but you'll never forget the dog you've just lost. Keep a photo around and recall the funny things she did.
be glad you had her rather than sad she's gone.

Answer 9

Aaawwww. I know what you are saying. I wish I could help. Look online for pet grief support groups in oyur area. Hopefully there will be some. Losing a pet is no diferent than losing a close human friend, but too few people understand that. You take as long as you need to grieve. I STILL cry over my horse, who died 25 years ago. No, the pain isn't as bad, but it still hurts sometimes. Give yourself a little time, and don't be afraid to ask for help. There is nothing wrong with you. We all feel that way when we lose one.

Answer 10

I have never read a letter that just touched and broke my heart. It just made me cry. I understand what you are saying, what you are experiencing, what you are going through. You have been through so much unspeakable pain and then now to lose your best friend .... there just are no words for it

I had to let my dog go, I think of it as showing her the road to Heaven, she was so very ill, it causes me such pain now to just think about it, to write about it, there are so many memories that you just can not touch because they cry out in such anguish

as you can see by all the letters you have received you are not alone in your feelings ... hopefully this band of support will somehow give you some sort of comfort like a million arms in the darkness holding on to you

please feel free to email me if you ever want or need to talk

I will keep a light on for you