Giving up on love, maybe life too??? help?

Question

Hey. Well things have just gotten worse in my life. I'm very young, a teenager. And a lot of times I just can't find a reason to get up, and try to make something of my life. I know I'm young, and I won't know exactly about what I want in life, but I'd like some advice on why to live. See, my sole purpose for this last decade and a half of my life was to look for this "soul mate" i thought i had. But of all the people in the world, would I really find that one person meant for me? I know I'm looking for a fairytale, and now that I know that, I don't see why I would keep on trying just for me to end up dying alone with a very lonely existence....help, advice please. Ive never heard a success story of true love, the ones ive heard are in fiction books....can you give me advice and tell me why you live and love?

Answer 1

I've been in your shoes. I know what it's like not finding anyone and not really having anything in life to give you a reason for living.

I'm 43 now. I still haven't found my girl yet. And there are still many things which don't give me much reason to go on.

But one thing I found out along the way:

You MAKE your own reasons to push forward and go on living life, life doesn't give you those reasons. You ARE life, life is within you, and you CREATE your own life despite all the "reasons" that show up not to go on living (or the ***holes that throw obstacles and other unwanted things in your way.)

If something is in your road, one of four things is occurring:
1) you are creating the barrier so you can have a game.
2) someone else is creating the barrier so he/she can have a game.
3) God or Ma Nature wants you to learn to overcome the barrier so you become a better person and/or more capable.
4) Any possible combination of the above.

Sometimes the game which is being created is completely illogical, insane, and troublesome for everyone (bad game -- like war). But sometimes it's a good game worth playing.

The trick is to spot which is true and then go on creating your life the way YOU want to create it.

Sometimes parents get in the way, no matter how much you love them or how much they love you. Sometimes they help. Again, you have to decide which it is and then work it out so you can live life. It is still your decision. Eventually, we all grow up and move away from our parents to stand on our own feet. Basically, adolescence DOES come to an end.

But it (problems in life) doesn't end there. There will be more barriers, more jerks, more morons. But there is also all the good things in life to experience: the Grand Canyon, Niagara Falls, an enjoyable sport, the Pyramids, other people and cultures, The Louvre in France, music of all types and all the arts, the list is really endless.

Do you see? You have to set a goal. A goal to reach the better things in life which ARE out there. A goal to get past all the crap and find a reason to go on.

But YOU have to set the goal, no one will do it for you. That is the way God or Ma Nature intended it, so that is how it is.

The biggest thing and most important thing to learn is to love yourself for who you are, despite your own weaknesses and mistakes in life. If you don't, the best thing is to go to your minister or pastor (or a VERY trustworthy friend) and confess all the things you did wrong. It's a scary step to take in life, but you come out the other end feeling much, much better about yourself, and therefore LIFE as well, because you are life.

I could go on and on. There is a lot to life, because life can become or look very complex. But it is actually, really very simple.

The simplicity is that you are life, and you create your life. In fact, scientists today are finding out they we can even create new life forms. That is pretty good stuff. That means there's a little bit of God or Mother Nature in each one of us.

I hope this helps. You are welcome to email me through this site. I have a lot of life experience -- done more and seen more than your average Joe.

:-)

But it didn't start out that way. As I said -- I've been in your shoes. I could tell you horror stories, but really there's no point in digging up the past. The past is there only to learn from and nothing more. Life is now. And you create the future.

Take care. And know that there are many people out here that love and care about you, even if it seems like there's no one around you who does.

Kevin

Answer 2

Yea, all teenagers seem to feel like that.

You actually start to enjoy life more as you get older, and start being able to do what you want with your life. Life becomes more fun after awhile.

There is more to life than finding your soul mate. You can find fulfillment in a lot of things. Try volunteering at a local charity, for example. It is hard to feel sorry for yourself if you are busy helping others, and it make you more fulfilled and appreciated. And often you find love when you least expect it.

And most people find that it is better to get your love and self-esteem from God, rather than exclusively from imperfect people who will let you down ever so often whether they want to or not. I would encourage you to get to know Jesus, and to explore a relationship with him. I'm sure that your local church has a youth group that has plenty of fun activities to keep you busy, and to help you grow closer to God.

Answer 3

At least you're not a single person who's never dated in their entire life. Maybe it's the fact that you've been in so many relationships that allows you to give good love advice since you have more experience and can tell people what to avoid. And even people who give advice can fall victim to their own feelings since most people choose relationships based on their heart, not what their head tells them, so they feel disappointed when a relationship inevitably fails to meet their idealistic expectations.

Answer 4

just wait u will find someone for me it was a year without liking anyone ( like like) and now iv got the best girlfriend so just wait it out