Why is it that when i'm online.. I have the feel to be able to say anything. i have these awesome come backs, huge vocabulary, ect. I mean. It took forever to be able to gain confidence to stick up to people online.. and now no one can really win an argument with me. But than.. why is it that offline I can't say anything. I cant stick up for myself or win an argument or even do a decent one when someone is making fun of me nearly four feet away. And its not because I dont see the person online, I cant talk to my friends ofline but i make a good argument with them online. So.. its not that. I just studder, my face gets red and i feel all hot. Any way I can boose up my confidence or fix this problem? Because its really bothering me. I've asked this question in the past and no one seems to be able to help. I've also asked people about stratagies to make myself more confidence and they said talk to myself in the mirror.. well that makes me feel like an idiot. So. Any other suggestions?
2007-09-11 10:46:24 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Just keep practicing. Even when you feel embarrassed in front of people make an conscious effort to make an argument. The more you do it the better you will become. Don't give up.
2007-09-11 10:51:39 · answer #1 · answered by Truth is elusive 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's because WE'RE in control online...and THEY'RE in control offline. We can edit,delite,add..make lots of mistakes and change them..or not change them...because it doesn't matter that much online. And we're only looking at the computer (not a bunch of people) and a computer doesn't have eyes. But "out there"...people look at you and hear your voice and your mistakes etc etc. You can feel their criticisms. If you were with mentally challenged people ...I think you would feel more comfortable because they don't criticize like other people do. I worked with them for 7 years and I could talk comfortably and draw and paint pictures etc ..because I didn't feel they were judging me. (not like some other people)
Don't worry about feeling like an idiot talking to the mirror (or are you your own worst critic?). I'm sure movie stars do it all the time. In public..think of yourself as an actress on the stage. Maybe that will help.
2007-09-11 11:08:13 · answer #2 · answered by Deenie 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you do well online because you have to take the time to think and type out your response letter by letter. Speaking is not the same thing at all. Even if you are a speed typist, it is still slower than speech, so that is the why of it.
What you do about having a fast verbal comeback? Well, think about the snotty things others have said, people tend to repeat themselves, and decide what you want for a one line comeback that will shut them down. But be careful, it can backfire on you, and you end up being a very lonely character because no one wants to risk talking to you at all.
2007-09-11 10:52:55 · answer #3 · answered by essentiallysolo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The cyberworld has created an arena for people to be alter personalities of themselves. Unfortunately, when faced in reality, we become who we really are (in person). It sounds like you are a shy person, and unfortunately, shy people have brain chemistry that varies from people who are outspoken. There is nothing wrong with being shy. If everybody in the world wasn't shy, then everybody would conflict with others. Being shy balances society. With every outspoken person, there is a shy person, so on and so forth. However, some of the reasons you are shy stems from your brain structure, mainly from your Amygdala, in your brain. New situations make you shy, but you can fix it, by becoming comfortable. Becoming comfortable in public areas, requires getting out there. So stop being on your computer so much, and get out there, because the world needs you!
2007-09-11 11:05:53 · answer #4 · answered by MayaMC 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your offline vocabulary is getting better every time you help someone on line. Soon you will be able to do the same in life as you do on line. I suggest you stay with a very narrow field of topics both on line and in life . Just keep practicing.
2007-09-11 11:21:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Online you are anonymous. You can pretend to be black, 8 feet tall and have a 20" long-- well you get the idea. See site below so you can be self confident. They all go together-- self -esteem, peace of mind and happiness.
2007-09-11 10:54:44 · answer #6 · answered by Jet Li 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am the same way, But i think that its easier because when your behind the screen of a computer you won't get punched and you don't have to use your voice you just type out what you think, Also i think that maybe its because you have more time to think it out
2007-09-11 10:57:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
talk very much with people doing this you will not have this prob. (habitude) the same thing was happened to me like a year ago..
try to fell that you r in your home it helps
2007-09-11 10:57:07 · answer #8 · answered by Tio Magique 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋