Help..I hate my child?

Question

I dont know what is wrong with me. The older my child gets, the more I hate her personality and it is to the point that I can't stand to be around her. She is not really a difficult child at all. I just can't stand her presence. I enjoy the fact that she is in school all day and when she comes home, I make her go to her room and do her homework and then I want her to immediately go outside and ride her bike or find something else to do. I get depressed thinking about the winter months. I tried to give my child up for adoption twice when she was a baby and the first time, my mother made me go and get her back from this temporary placement facility. And the second time I gave her to her father and my mother actually went and stole her back from him. But it is not like she wants custody of her herself. Anyways she is a really good kid and very smart, gets along well in school but I have a problem. I see a psychiatrist and I tell her about my situation but she really does nothing...cont

It seems as though she just brushes it off and says that I am depressed. But I really think it is more than that. I sencerely can not help myself. Why do I hate my child and what can I do about it. ....Look as a matter of fact, I hate my entire family and I try to avoid them at all costs. What is wrong with me. I feel bad sometimes that I feel the way I do

Dont think that I neglect my child and have her going to school all dirty and hungry. I take good care of her. Just deep down inside I dont want to. Yep I wanted to have an abortion but 11 years ago I did not have the money to. And trust me, I hate kids and I only have one. I feel like having her was the biggest mistake of my life

And my child is 11. No way I am going to put her in a home now that would really be horrible FOR HER. Shame on whoever suggested that. I want to remove the feelings of regret ( the source of my hate ) for my child. I need help and I acknowledge that.

*POST PARTUM DEPRESSION DOES NOT LAST FOR 11 YEARS*

And I dont physically abuse my daughter. I buy her the best of anything my money can buy her. You would think everything is ok. It looks OK on the surface, but I REALLY DO NOT LIKE HER and I regret having her. Everyone makes mistakes and " why did you have her " is water under the bridge...I need help not sympathy but these psychiatrists are no good and they dont really try to help anyone. Sometimes I would rather end my own life and I have felt this way for the longest and it is not getting any better. I dont know what else to do

@Calnmace, that has to be the best answer so far. I never thought about Big brother/Big sister, duh. It might be good for her . And yes I was diagnosed with chronic depression at 13 but I feel like I have other things wrong with me. Maybe I am slow or something..... I am still going to wait for other answers

absolutely della. I hate my child so much, I stress to her the importance of doing well in school and going to a good college when she turns 18. She agrees with me totally thank god. She is an honor roll student, gets nothing but good grades, does phenominal on the yearly state administered tests, that she always gets awards, blue ribbons. I also tell her that it would not be wise to have children. I tell her to look at me and how difficult it was when I had her at 18, with just a high school diploma and no skills. I stress to her htat it would be wise to not be like me. And so far she is on the right track. She actually wants to go to an Ivy League college. I tell her that when she feels ready for sex, we are going to get her on birth control immediately. I do NOT want to risk being a young grandmother and for her to repeat this awful cycle. I actually want her to hurry up and grow up and go off to college I cant wait until those 7 years go by. GOD HELP ME.

I know I am not the only one who hates their child, just probably the only one who will admit it. You all just dont get it. I spend time with her. We go to the mall among other things. I put on an act like I am enjoying myself but I really can not stand this child. I mean it is so easy to tell some one to go out and have fun and only think about the positive. That is easier said than done. The older she gets, the less I want to be around her and I stress the importance of her to have friends and be around them more often. I really find that I hate children, my child, my family, even other people outside of my family. It is too late to turn back now , 7 years is just around the corner. And yes I want her out of my house and possibly out of my life. I dont care about being a grandmother or any of this ****

DONT ANSWER MY QUESTION UNLESS YOU HAVE CHILDREN YOUR DAMN SELVES. THAT WAY YOU KNOW FIRST HAND WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH. AROUND THIS TIME, I AM SURE IT IS MOSTLY TEENAGERS ANSWERING THIS QUESTION, PLEASE LOG OFF. ONLY ADULTS ANSWER MY QUESTION PLEASE.

Answer 1

I think you might be battling severe depression, I have seen a very similar situation. See your doctor about it, and in the mean time please listen to this advice
**go to the big brothers/big sisters asscociation and apply for your daughter to have a big sister** Im sure she feels it and would really benefit from someone to talk to that is responsible and most importantly a good role model while you are dealing with your mental health issues. You are not a bad person, you know that there is something wrong with how youre feeling just please try to get help.

Answer 2

Assuming this is all true (if it's not, you've got entirely too much time on your hands to have created such an elaborate and well-written story), it seems pretty clear to me that you need to seek out a new therapist. Just chalking up these feelings to depression hasn't helped you, and it's not fair to you or to your daughter. You need to find a therapist who is willing to go the extra mile to help you really sort through what you're feeling and to offer real support/advice/options. It sounds to me as though you're doing everything else right, but it's not fair to you that you should go through life hating your daughter. I wouldn't know where to begin in helping you find specific resources, but I definitely think some Online research is in order. I wish you the best of luck and hope you find the help you deserve.

PS- I like the Big Sister idea too. Check into that for sure. :)

Answer 3

well you have 2 options. Walk away from Everybody, in other words give up. Don't have anything to do with your family anymore. basically the easy route. Or find out who this young girl is, I'm sure she has similar feelings like you, maybe even about you. Treat her as a person not as a possession!!! Feel priveldged to have her in your life, you and her may become good friends. Love is much better than hate. Go do something fun and laugh together. She won't be with you forver(think about that) so become friends.

Answer 4

i understand where this is coming from. I hate my father and as the years grow i begin to get a serious hatred for him. and that's because of the things he did 4 years ago and to now.

Now, our situation is common. You must hate your child because you didn't get an abortion and she feels like a mistake. Or it could be something that happened way before that.

Instead, try to think opposite. Take her somewhere and the only word on your mind should be "FUN". Not "ughh" or whatever. Take her to Happy Tymes and play games with her. Or take her to the mall on a shopping spree. Or take her to an amusant park.

the problem may be that your so stuck in the past, what happened 11 years ago, that you're not living in the present. Like I said, try to have fun.

Answer 5

Sometimes when you have issues and problems of your own, it is just too much to have to deal with another living and breathing human being that needs constant attention and so much care. It can be overwhelming for someone without issues let alone with the issues you have.
Perhaps you should talk to your Mother about your feelings and see if she will raise your child for you. If she isn't, then you should consider giving her back to her father or up for adoption and let your Mother know that unless she intends to raise her, she better leave her where she is.
I also suggest some family counseling with you and your daughter and perhaps some parenting classes.

Answer 6

I don't know the answer to your problem, but post-partum depression can last 11 years. My mother's depression started when she had me 27 years ago, and she's never recovered from it.
Maybe you need a break from your daughter. (We all need a break sometimes.) Would she like to go and live with her dad? Would he like to have her? It's not your mother's business anyway, and kidnapping is a crime.
Can you find reasons to be proud of her? Feelings of pride will help crowd out your negative feelings.

Answer 7

According to my mother, I adored peas while I was once a bit youngster. However, in my memorable lifestyles, I do not take into account ever liking them, nonetheless do not. I'm the equal with you on yogurt. Hated it, mainly if it had fruit portions in it, as a child. However, now, I rather adore it, might be even select it with "fruit on the backside."

Answer 8

Your like Satan...I'm sorry but the things you are saying are just making me ill! I can't even believe this is a true post! We ALL get frustrated with our children at one time or another. Maybe you hate her father!?! Did you ever think of that and you see her father in her! Someday your going to be old and need taking care of and who are you going to have? I can't believe any man would want you with this horrible attitude and you hate your family. We raise our kids and love them; they love us then when we're old and feeble they help us. You won't have anyone but an old woman with cats. I can't believe any professional is brushing this off. You may have sh--ty health insurance or going to some bad professionals. You were a child once; maybe the adults around hated you; even your own mother. This is a story where everything is fine on the outside and your going to read something horrible in the paper. I'm sure if anyone, her father, your mother or any professional new how you really felt they would take her and care for her. Hopefully she doesn't sense your hatred or maybe she is smart enough to know your an extremely sick and need help. I'll be praying for you and your daughter.

Ezekial 36:26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

Answer 9

I really agree that you need to get her in a temporary home or up for adoption because the more anger that is built up inside of you the more apt you are to possibly hurting your daughter. She doesn't deserve what is being done to her, not saying you are a bad person., if you really love her and want the best for her then make other arrangements. It is not y our mother's decision on what to do with her it is yours. If your mother is so worried about wanting to keep her maybe she should keep her.

Answer 10

well you are severely depressed. I would give your child up for adoption now theres nothing anyone can do not even your mother if you dont want her and aren't giving her the proper care and love she deserves. Please do something about it because if you keep going the way you are who knows how this child will grow up. once you give her up get some serious help for yourself. take care.