suicide...............................?

Question

okay i'll be honest

ive been having a lot of thoughts about suicide lately

my dad says that im useless to him and all i do is take away from him.. and he's all i have to run to
and im not running to him

i cut myself too and he knows
he just does not understand that healing takes time and he would never understand how i feel

But last night, i almost did it
i came so close

how do i escape this?

and i dont want u to tell me to get help
or get a therapist


i just need to know how to deal with this

and my mom died, so i cant talk to her

yes ive been going through this for a long time

but no one suspects it.. because i try very hard to hide it and very few people know the real me..

those who know about the cutting are soo mad and worried about me, so i CANT tell them about the suicide

Answer 1

OK, first of all, killing yourself isn't the solution. Life is precious, people fight to stay alive even one more second; throwing that away is a waste.

I checked your profile, and you're exactly the sort of person we need MORE of in this world, we can't spare even one. We all need you here, so stick around.

I won't tell you to go to therapy if you aren't interested. You have to meet a therapist half way or it doesn't help.

Instead of trying to control your life by cutting and deciding that pain is ok if you do it yourself, learn to control your MIND. Controling your body is easy, it's a cheap way out and it doesn't help in the long run.

Meditate, learn self hypnosis, learn astral projection and lucid dreaming. Turn your brain from an enemy into your best friend. There's a million ways to do it, and they are all worth it.

Find Jesus, find Buddha. Become a scientologist for crying out loud, but don't just be another wasted bright girl who kills herself.

E-mail me some time, I'll do my best to help you get through all this. I'm pretty good at it after 20 years of talking people into giving life one more shot.

Answer 2

I understand you stance on not wanting help. It can make you feel even worse when thinking about it. But you have to keep an open mind when considering help.

You can not truly "escape" this. It will not disappear. I assume you have been dealing with these feelings for a long time. You can end the cycle, but it will take changes

My advice. Remove youself from your current environment. Move in w/ a relative or friend that is more undertanding.

Tell someone you truly trust, hopfully that person is out there, and tell them everything. What you feel, what you have been doing, etc. They know you best and might have an answer that meets your needs.

think deep and hard on what is causing these feelings. You need to know what is causing these feelings before you can address them. Was it a bad childhood. Were you sexually taken advantage of? Have you lost a close friend or relative. Hopefully, you will get to the bottom of your feelings. And once again, tell someone you trust exactly how you feel.

Lastly, but most import. GET HELP. People who reach out for proffesional help are a lot stonger than those that do not. According to your situation, you have no one to turn to. Go to a emergency room and tell them how you feel and show them your cuts. People are getting more and more understanding of depression, or thoughts of hopelessness. I think you will find relief rather quickly. You are not the only one, and you will be around people that are stuggling just like you. Usually, the counsler have recoverd from the same problems.

Answer 3

I do very much understand what you are going through. I have had suicidal thoughts since I was 13 and I am 20 now, which is a unbelievable considering I have attempted 3 times now. I wouldn't suggest that. Usually you will find that things will get easier with a little time. Its like being on a airplane, you don't jump out because you have some turbulence, you hang in there because it will pass. I have also cut since I was 13. There are many reasons why people choose to cope that way. It can very addictive and a hard habit to break, and even if you do, it doesn't mean that you won't turn to more destructive ways of coping (drug use for example). I would suggest that you get some professional help. That is what I'm starting and I am hoping for the best. I mean it looks more positive than doing nothing about it and just assuming that your doomed. Hang in there hun :)

Answer 4

Honey, I answer questions every day but I have never attempted to answer a question like yours. So I hope I can find the words that you need to hear.

You start by telling us what NOT to do or say. You have to admit that you can't handle this all by yourself. I think you realize that and that's why you submitted a Q&A. I'm sure you are afraid. You have every right to be. But this is something so big that you MUST reach out to someone you trust. This burden is too big for just one person to carry. You have to talk this out. Discuss how you feel, discuss your fears, discuss possible solutions, discuss your hopes and dreams. Bare your soul and your innermost thoughts. There is something that is really cleansing in doing so.

I can't tell you where to find this person. Look around your world. Is there anyone who fits the description of trust ? If not, I would advise you to call a Suicide Prevention Hotline. I looked up the National number. It is - [phone]. There is someone there 24 hrs a day who wants to talk with you. They have an understanding of your situation that you wouldn't believe. The most imporatnt call that you may ever make is to this number.

I know your father is not one to share this with. He has said that you are useless to him BUT he did NOT say that you are useless to all. Your father is a taker. He can't help it, he was trained this way. His father was likely the same way, selfish and uncaring. Suicide is one of the most selfish ways to depart this earth. Don't be like your old man. You are way better than his level.

You ask how to escape it. The first thing to realize is that last night, you thought about it BUT ONLY CAME CLOSE. That may be an indication that you don't really want to go through with it. The only escape is to reach out. Find that person and if you can't, call that Hotline number. People care about you, please know that. My wife & I care about you too. You have much to offer. I would be very sad if I didn't get my share of what you have to offer because you decided to leave.

Make that call or find that person. If you need me as a contact, my e-mail is [e-mail]. Use that if you need to. You can always talk to me. Good luck. I think you can use a little of it.

Answer 5

Mhm. I'v been there. My mom found out I was cutting and didn't really do anything about it, not becuse she didn't care, but because she didn't know how to handle it. I hate my dad, and I was really depressed for a while. My advice to you is hang out with your friends a lot, and try not to talk to your dad to much, he'll get he point, if not, sounds like you dont need him. Stop cutting, that will really make you feel better. Take little breaks often from school work and things to enjoy eating some candy in the front of the TV and just relax! Have fun!! LIVE UR LIFE HAPPILY CUZ ITS UR ONLY ONE!! I tell myself that im beautiful everyday, that really makes me feel good about myself.

Answer 6

You probably just need to realize that as a woman, you're basically going to be dealing with depression for the rest of your life. We all go through it, every month, a couple of times a month. It is much worse when you're a teenager because your hormones are about as even as a roller coaster ride. Your hormones will start to even out and become more 'normal' as you get older, but they still fluctuate with 'that time of the month'. It sucks, but it is a part of life. Birth Control pills can help even you out a little. Suicide is definitely no solution, as you don't know how good life can be once you reach the fantastic 20s. I would never ever EVER go back to the teen years if I could.

Answer 7

sorry , you are not gonna like my answer, you arent dealing well on your own , and no advice on the internet is likely to be a big help. You can start by talking to a trusted adult, thats a teacher, minister, family friend about whats bothering you.
You havent said what caused your situation ? Did you recently lose your Mother ? That can be very tough on you and your Dad.

Your Dad sounds like a bit of an idiot.
Stop cutting yourself , it may make you feel better short term but its very dangerous to your health.
I dont suggest this lightly, but if living with your Dad is not working out, you can call CPS (child protective services) and see what options you may have . Thats probably a group home or fostering.

Answer 8

Cutting yourself is not good, no matter how much better it makes you feel. There is help.

http://www.christiananswers.net/q-eden/cutting.html

Self Harm

1-800-DONTCUT

Help for "cutters"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Suicide is not the answer, and if you ever feel like you're going to attempt it again, be sure to call these numbers...

Suicide & Crisis Hotline

1-800-999-9999

Help for Troubled Teens

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

National Hope Line Network

1-800-784-2433

Suicide Prevention

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

If you ever just want to talk about your problems with someone in private, the people here care about what you have to say...

Talk Zone

1-800-475-TALK

Peer Counselors

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Teen Help Line

1-800-400-0900

Help Line For Troubled Teens

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Teen Hot Line

1-800-747-8336

Hot Line For Troubled Teens

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VOICES In Action, Inc.

1-773-327-1500

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Youth Development International

1-800-HIT-HOME (448-4663)

Youth Crisis Hotline

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National Crisis Line

1-800-334-4357

Crisis Help Line

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

National Youth Crisis Hotline

1-800-448-4663

Youth Crisis Hotline

Answer 9

It saddens me that something or someone or many things have brought you to this point. And honestly I have never felt like that before...and I have had some pretty crappy things happen to me. So I am unable to relate...however....I am a very good listener and I am not judgemental at all...so if you would like to email me to vent...I would more than happy to listen. Also...just take it one second, one minute, one day at a time....whenever you feel like things are so bad that you want to end it....take a walk...go somewhere beautiful to help remind you that through this crazy thing called life...there is still beauty around. The first step is to recognize that you are hurting...and I am so proud that you are reaching out. Please email me....I will help you in anyway I can.

Answer 10

first of all suicide is not the answer.i know its hard to stop cutting but if you try hard it will happen.u should bring up the courage to tell a best friend or a teacher i know u said u didnt want anybody to tell u this but still ur a young person goin through alot of crap its not good for you or ur father.try thinking of something when u wanna cut urself.like a happy thought like remember ur mom does she want u to cut urself.just try to open up ur feelings if ya wanna talk some more just email me.