My mom loves to talk about sickness - whether its a friend who has cancer or a new illness on TV. She has come down with a stomach virus and she can do nothing but talk about it obsessively. Whenever she is sick everythign else goes by the wayside and she obsesses on this over and over. Is this normal? I don't do it. It is really stressful and annoying. I think people who are sick can and should talk about it here and there, but not endlessly. Its not good for them or their illness!
2007-09-11 09:29:02 · 11 answers · asked by malibubeach 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My mom recently underwent major heart surgery... but before this... she has always been a complainer. Her negative state of mind and energy is a continual. She has recovered and is at home... but is always focused on how horrible everything is... instead of the positive... like.. geez... I'm alive.. how wonderful!
It gets hard to call her and even have a discussion with her as she always discusses her worst situation. So I know what you are saying.
And yes its endless. Her friends don't call anymore or even visit. They tend to stay away from the negative energy.
I stay positive regardless and talk about how well she is doing. That is all I can do.
I can't change her thinking. She is who she is.
So I love her as she is and she has to face the reality that her friends stop calling.
At least I will always call:)
Stay positive and give encouragement.
Good luck
2007-09-11 09:49:17 · answer #1 · answered by Say 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother may be a hypochondriac whic is a condition where people obsess over their illnesses and sometimes even other people's. I have an Aunt that is this way and the best way I have learned to deal with it is not to give any attention to the whining and complaining about small petty infections like the stomach virus. Get her to talk about something positive and if she refuses then do not give in to letting her make you feel bad but just let her know that you simply can not deal with all the sick talk.
2007-09-11 16:37:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't ignore her. Your Mom may be seeking attention, maybe you and any siblings are grown now etc... but by stressing the sickness it gets some attention even if it's negative attention. Listen my mom was sick for years ...one thing after another in and out of hospitals some real some exaggerated, but I would rather be pissed off now listening to her complain then laying the flowers on her grave. When you are so use to being say a mother and wife and that's all you really know when time goes on and things change it's hard to adjust. Just love her and be patient.
2007-09-11 16:43:55 · answer #3 · answered by angel m 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No this is not normal. You don't say how your relationship is with your mom, but this could be a sign of something deeper. It could be depression or just wanting attention from friends and family. Her obsession with illness isn't healthy and is a clue to a deeper cause. If you have a good relationship try talking to her in a non-threatening way and tell her you are worried about her physical and mental well-being. Offer your support and let her know that if she needs anything to call you and let you know. Maybe that little extra reassurance is what she needs. I know it can be hard to be patient and empathetic with her but try to put yourself in her shoes and see things from her perspective. Good luck!
2007-09-11 16:57:48 · answer #4 · answered by mammamontana 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, not normal, but very common. It's actually a sign of a small mind. People with greater intelligence and knowledge find other things to talk about.
There's no point in you obsessing about her behavior, though. The only way to get her to stop, and just in front of you, is to ignore her and respond only to other topics. She'll probably think you're heartless, but she will stop.
2007-09-11 16:34:18 · answer #5 · answered by Sarah C 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it isn't normal. It can be for allot of reasons: she can be a hypochondriac, she could do it for attention, she could be a germaphobe etc..., The best way to deal with it is to tell her that you love her, you're sure she is going to be fine etc.. and then don't engage about it any more. It is also okay to tell her, when she starts talking about other people's illnesses that you feel badly for them but you don't really care to hear it.
2007-09-11 16:49:53 · answer #6 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing we can do about other people's behavior is learn from it. Relationships act as mirrors for our own Spiritual growth. What are you learning from your mother's behavior? Could you be learning that we get more of what we think and talk about? Where do you place your attention, on what you want, or on what you don't want?
2007-09-12 14:19:18 · answer #7 · answered by shine_radiantstar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hypochondriacs thrive on being "sick." They make things 10 time worse than it really is and about drive their doctos half insane with their complaints. And when they really are sick, no one believes them.
2007-09-11 16:48:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't have anything else to talk about-- so she talks about what is most important to her at the time. When she brings it up , change the subject to something else.
2007-09-11 16:38:11 · answer #9 · answered by Sophie B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe that what you speak comes forward, (happens) speak sickness you get sickness, speak good health it comes to you, speak money it comes to you. The power of good thought is AMAZING! tell her this, go ahead......
2007-09-11 16:45:38 · answer #10 · answered by Conrey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋