do i stay in this relationship?

Question

i'm in love with this perfect guy who loves me despite my flaws. it's just that he lives two hours away. i see him once a month if i'm lucky. i only talk to him three times a week for an hour but sometimes he's busy so i don't talk to him for that long and sometimes he doesn't call me because he has other things to do. i love him so much but i can't help but feel like he deserves better. he tells me that he loves me and i'm his first love. it's just that this relationship is so HARD because i barely see him. i was in a bad relationship before and now things are good it's just hard not seeing him.i don't know what to do. i know i should be grateful that i have him in my life it's just that it's really hard not being or seeing him. i only see him once a month. but not every month.

Answer 1

Like either move, or get a car so you can see him.

Cheers :-)

Answer 2

Could it be the only reason this relationship is perfect is because you hardly ever see each other? You may be in love with the idea of being in love, rather than experiencing the real thing. Maybe you should go for a week away together (or at his house if you are too young - no idea how old you are), see how much you have in common and where you go from there. If its meant to be, one of you will give the sacrafice of moving. If not, its time to end it. Best of luck - this is hard!

Answer 3

First of all, don't go worrying about whether or not he deserves better. You deserve to be happy yourself, and don't you forget that! The two of you need to have a talk and decide whether this long distance thing is right for you. If not, you have a few options: 1. End the relationship and just be friends, 2. How old are you? If you are out of school, and think that this relationship is REALLY worth it, one of you may consider relocating (bear in mind that this is a HUGE decision and shouldn't be jumped into if your feelings are only luke-warm). If you're still in school, you're kind of out of luck on that suggestion...hope this helps a little

Answer 4

And what are your flaws??? He isn't dealing with your flaws cuz you hardly spend time with each other face to face.

As a single chick, I would say your relationship is perfect if you are a busy person. I mean hanging with friends, clubbin', work, going to school, shopping, going out alone...you don't have a guy around to take up your time. Or a guy around that you have to BEG for his time.

Just focus on keeping yourself distracted, its useless to pine away for some guy. Its not like he's your husband and he was shipped off to Iraq.

I'm not beating you down, I understand how complex some relationships can be, but I think there is better out there.

If this is what you're willing to settle for...then I think you need some time alone to find and love yourself. You can't rely on anyone-whether 2 min. or 2 hours away-to make you happy if you can't be happy on your own, babes.

Damn, my fingers hurt from typing, lol.

Answer 5

2 hrs isn't that long away to see someone you love. If he isn't seeing you at least once a week (if he has a car) then I question his love. If both of you love each other come to some sort of compromise. A meeting place an hr away maybe ? Go on a trip together. If both of you can't change a part of your life for the good of the relationship, then one or both of you aren't ready for one.

Answer 6

I'm sure you care very deeply for him, but is it worth all the heartache that comes from not seeing him? It doesn't mean either of you are bad people, but maybe your just not right for each other. It doesn't sound like you can be satisfied in this relationship. Unless you have plans to live in the same town in the near future, I would think about not continuing the relationship with him, and find someone who will be there for you when you need him. Best wishes!

Answer 7

You seem to have a very archaic view of how relationships are to be. I was in med school when I met my husband and then I moved 500 miles away for a better residency. We saw each other maybe 2 days every 3 months. 20 years later, he is away for months at a time with his job, he designs golf courses. We talk on the phone daily, and e-mail love notes and we are very happy. If it means that much to you, move to where he lives.

Answer 8

If you want to see him more you could, where theres a will theres a way. The bus on weekends, get a part time job to make money to pay for it, Find a family member that might be going that way on the weekends. Some groups (church, sports) travel to near by towns on the weekends.

Make future plans to be together, give you something to look forward to.

Good luck, don't give up.....unless you don't think he's worth it.

Answer 9

Perfection doesn't exist, you just haven't learned his flaws yet. Still, there's a reason for your feelings. There's something there for you to learn. Stay with it until you've learned whatever it is then you'll know. You see, in the end, it's not about him, it's about your learning to Love. Through these imperfect human relationships we learn to Love so we can better love God.

Answer 10

i know how you feel. if i were you, i would look back at all the good times and all the bad times that you two have had together. if there are more good times than bad, stay in the relationship dispite the distance. but if you have had more bad times than good, point this out and tell him straight up that you want to end the relationship. don't make up anything and lie to him because if there is one thing that guys hate, its a girl that lies to him!

Answer 11

Two hours isn't that bad. I'm dating someone I barely see too. I figure a good relationship with someone you never see is better than a bad one with someone you see all the time. Still, if he wants it to work he needs to make some time and take some effort. I wouldn't really consider it a committed relationship otherwise. If you meet someone else who is willing to invest the time don't feel too bad about ending it.