I have a friend who is currently going through this and she is so depressed. I don't get involved with their business, but I could not imagine my husband telling me he is too busy to watch OUR child. He does this to her all the time and as a matter of fact we were supposed to hang out this weekend and couldn't because one again, he had something to do.
I would never suggest this to her, but would it be wrong if she decided to act like she was going to the store or if she put the child to sleep, got dressed and left the house and that way he wouldn't have a choice to keep his own child?
Has anyone ever been in this situation?
2007-09-11 08:02:55 · 11 answers · asked by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
oh oh oh flashback! Here's what I did, I started saying, hey, I need to go to the grocery store, I will be back in 30 mins. I left her with him and just took all the time I needed- even more- to be late. He starting calling me at my mobile asking if I was gonna be there soon. 4 hours later I came home and the house was a mess but he had play with her, changed her diaper and put her to sleep. After that he said to me how hard is to take care of a child and he realized it takes 2 people to do so. We haven't had any problems since. Good luck.
2007-09-11 09:56:50 · answer #1 · answered by Baby Ruth habla español 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for you. I was raised to become a JW - obviously it didnt work... But my Mother and most of my family are still to this day. My Mom told me that if I told her I was an Atheist or a Satanist she could no longer talk to me and that it would be MY choice, not hers... JWs are not at all accepting of who people actually are. It's their way or the highway. But you also have to understand that they are very simple-close minded people who can not comprehend why anyone wouldn't want to be a JW. At first I just thought they were stupid, then I came to realize that when it comes to my dear Mother who was raised as a JW, they dont know any different. They are taught that everything bad is Satan, and everything good is Jehovah. I'm not sure if you were raised a Witness or ever attended a meeting, but you would know what I mean. It's all very sad - my Mother said that she wouldn't turn her back on Jehovah for anyone or anything. In front of me her and her new husband made an agreement that they would choose Jehovah over each other - in other words, they will obey and die for that stupid Society that doesn't make any sense or do anything but hurt and shelter people. My poor cousin is 14, JWs encourage homeschooling, so she still to this day can barely read and can not read clock unless it is digital. Again - sorry to hear about your loss, just try and accept them for who they are and you can be the bigger person by doing that. As I've always told my Mother - I will always love you no matter who you are, just because you are you. I hope that one day you feel the same way about me.
2016-05-17 07:25:23 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she knows that her husband is not going to watch the child, then she should not leave the child unattended. Yes, that would be wrong for a parent to do.
Two wrongs do not make a right. They just make a neglected child, in this case.
This is an issue between the two of them that they should work out without using the child as a playing piece.
2007-09-11 08:12:59 · answer #3 · answered by Maureen 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to do it. I was in this exact same boat. I let my husband get away with this for a long time and eventulaly three kids later couldn't stand him anymore. I had so much resentmenet for him that I hate him now. I will never get over how he just let me drown in kids. I let him do it so many times that I had to take them everywhere. I heeraged and had to call the ambulance ,he wouldn't get out of bed to watch the kids because they had woken up, the ambulance people had to bring them wiht us.
He wouldn't keep them so that i could go to my doctors appointments, I always had to take them with me. He had never given them a bath or fed them or put them down for a nap. He was acreep and now he doesn't know how to take care of them when he has them either, I left him and he is such a bad father that the state came in and took his visitation away. He can only have them with a supervisor there. The whole thing can become a huge mess, take my advice and tell her my story. Her and her famiy deserve better than what happened to mine. They really should seek family couseling so that dad ca nfigure out how to participate with everyone and give mom a break.
I sure hope that your friend gets this figured out before it's too late.
2007-09-11 08:24:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
1st, parents to not BABYSIT. Parents have a responsibility to take care of their children. Hmm, I think that if he's home and otherwise doing nothing - yeah, she should to MAKE him take responsibility (providing that won't endanger her child). However, it would be better if she just put the baby down, said "I'm going out for a couple hours" and leaves. Although, she really needs to have serious chats with him. He may just pull the same thing and leave before she can which leaves her stuck.
2007-09-11 08:32:42 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father in law never "babysat" his own children. I find that deplorable. I could never be with a man like that. You only "sit" with children that don't belong to you. On the other hand even if she might be tempted to sneak out on him, I wouldn't because of the kids. He sounds like the kind of jerk who might leave anyway and then say he thought she'd be right back and didn't think it would hurt for a few minutes. I wouldn't want to risk putting the kids in that situation. If you want to hang out with her, you should just hang out at her house.
2007-09-11 08:37:05 · answer #6 · answered by kat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My sisters in that situation...
Which deeply annoys me as the way i c it is its both there responsibility "its there baby"
She shud spk 2 him about it n tell him she needs time 2 her self at times which is understandable n he needs 2 help n take responsibility....however i wouldnt just leave the baby we him as this may upset,pressure or anger him
She shud gradually introduce it just nip 2 the shop n leave the baby with him gradually then when he becomes more confident u kin leave the baby we him 4 longer periods o time feeling at ease n enjoyin ur time off
2007-09-11 08:19:05 · answer #7 · answered by spinklet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is about controlling his wife.. He has found a way to control her activities through the kids...
My suggestion is to hire a babysitter and go out..... I would do it when he is going to be home.... Really get the point through that he can not use the kids to control her and that he needs to start being a father or she will hire someone to do his job...
2007-09-11 08:13:13 · answer #8 · answered by Joey_Pit 3 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Wow I like Joey_Pit's answer.
My step sister's husband is the same way and they have 3 kids, if she wants to go somewhere she has to find people to watch them first, I will have to tell her that idea.
2007-09-11 08:18:26 · answer #9 · answered by Miss Coffee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Him acting like an idiot is no reason for her to do so.I hope she has the sense not to have anymore sex with this guy.
2007-09-11 08:35:51 · answer #10 · answered by Question Addict 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋